PUA Forum :: Borderline Friend Zone?? Might Have messed up!

Alright so there's this girl I've known for about 3 years now, she had a boyfriend most of the time but they broke up last fall. So I began talking to her a few months ago texting and such, we went out a few times and had drinks with mutual friends, we live about 2 hours away from each other so we don't see each other a lot. The past past two weeks though we began talking more, since I was going to be home for spring break and would be closer to her.
So fast forward to this past friday, me and some guy friends plan a guys night out and I made the mistake of texting her asking if she was around. She wasn't and was really bummed about me not letting her know I was going to be around sooner, and she actually ended up calling me later in the night, we talked for a while and she wanted me to come with her to a parade the next day. I agreed to go and told her to call me in the morning and we'll figure things out. So She called me the next day after the party already started! haha we talked about our plans for later that night, she said going to be staying there and wouldn't be coming up.

Well she ends up surprising me, later that night and shows up. So she comes out to the bars with us, we had a great time, there felt like some connection between us, we danced, joked around, had a little whip cream fight

and held hands when walking to different bars. The two of us ended up getting seperated from the rest of the group and it was getting late so we decided to take a cab back to her place. We were both pretty drunk so we decide to go to bed, she lets me sleep in her bed, we just cuddled, I didn't make any further moves because we were both pretty drunk.
So The next morning we wake and she wants to go out for brunch, so we go out and we talk about what our plans our for that day, we talk about any new movies that are out and she asks if I want to hang out and watch a movie with her. We end up going back to her place and watching a movie in her bed, but I didn't make any moves

we just layed there! I don't know if it was because I was hungover or what but I feel like I f-ed up there! I left, then texted her later that night because I had forgot my beer at her house, it went like this.

me: I left my beer at your house, try not to drink it all.

her: too bad so sad, mine now!
me: I'm giving you a spanking for every beer thats missing!

her: Keep dreaming christian grey! (we've been talking about 50 shades of grey lately)
me: I make all my dreams come true!
her: sends me a pic of her drinking on of my beers
me: Thats naughty! Im warming up my hand right now
her: Keep dreaming ha
me: Sleepy time, Sweet dreams..of me! Nothing to kinky though

her: Dream on.
her about 45 minutes later: Its so nice to have my bed all to myself!
me: I guess I'll have to find my self a new cuddle buddy! < wasn't really sure what I was thinking when I sent that.

Anyways sorry for the long winded post, this girl is cool as hell and fun to hang around with, and she doesn't sleep around with other guys. I was a little confused by the keep dreaming comments? Do you think I put my self in the friend zone by not escilating things during the movie? I won't be back in town for another week and a half so I was planning on not communicating with her for a week or so before asking her out for some drinks? Any ideas?
Thanks!

I really do need to stop being such a pussy haha! I need to work on my inner game some more a build up a little more confidence, that seems to be holding me back.

Anyway, do you guys think I should initiate contact at all, seeing as I won't be able to see her until next week at the earliest? I was planning on giving her a call early next week and set something up.

well I've got good news and bad news. Good news is I gave her a call last night and let her know I was going to be back in town and told her we should go out for some drinks. She agreed.

Then came the curveball, she texts me today. this is how it went

her: heyy!
me: I had the craziest dream ever last night!
her: what is that?
me: in fact you were in it.
her: oh man really
me: it was pretty intense and vivid
her: oh my god haha
her: that's weird ha
her: I dont want you to think I wanna get in a relationship or anything cuz I dont at all. idk what you think but just making it clear.

I feel like I screwed up big time with those texts? Any way to salvage it? Should I still plan on going out with her tomorrow, or just next her and move on?

She's not interested in you romantically, and/or sexually. I say this because you implying the dream was "intense and vivid" has a sexual connotation, and her stonewalling you like that rather than engaging you to continue further on this 'dream' tells me she's not interested in going there with you. Also, her statement of "not wanting to get into a relationship or anything" indicates just that, she doesn't see you as a potential romantic interest. I'm not saying I am dead on, but I wouldn't hedge my bets on her making and moves or even being receptive to yours. It's not that you did ANYTHING wrong, some women just wont be charmed by us no matter how solid our game may be, accept it and move on. It's in no way a reflection of you, so don't personalize it.

Author:	Ranger21 [ Wed Mar 20, 2013 12:57 am ]
Post subject:	Borderline Friend Zone?? Might Have messed up!
Alright so there's this girl I've known for about 3 years now, she had a boyfriend most of the time but they broke up last fall. So I began talking to her a few months ago texting and such, we went out a few times and had drinks with mutual friends, we live about 2 hours away from each other so we don't see each other a lot. The past past two weeks though we began talking more, since I was going to be home for spring break and would be closer to her. So fast forward to this past friday, me and some guy friends plan a guys night out and I made the mistake of texting her asking if she was around. She wasn't and was really bummed about me not letting her know I was going to be around sooner, and she actually ended up calling me later in the night, we talked for a while and she wanted me to come with her to a parade the next day. I agreed to go and told her to call me in the morning and we'll figure things out. So She called me the next day after the party already started! haha we talked about our plans for later that night, she said going to be staying there and wouldn't be coming up. Well she ends up surprising me, later that night and shows up. So she comes out to the bars with us, we had a great time, there felt like some connection between us, we danced, joked around, had a little whip cream fight and held hands when walking to different bars. The two of us ended up getting seperated from the rest of the group and it was getting late so we decided to take a cab back to her place. We were both pretty drunk so we decide to go to bed, she lets me sleep in her bed, we just cuddled, I didn't make any further moves because we were both pretty drunk. So The next morning we wake and she wants to go out for brunch, so we go out and we talk about what our plans our for that day, we talk about any new movies that are out and she asks if I want to hang out and watch a movie with her. We end up going back to her place and watching a movie in her bed, but I didn't make any moves we just layed there! I don't know if it was because I was hungover or what but I feel like I f-ed up there! I left, then texted her later that night because I had forgot my beer at her house, it went like this. me: I left my beer at your house, try not to drink it all. her: too bad so sad, mine now! me: I'm giving you a spanking for every beer thats missing! her: Keep dreaming christian grey! (we've been talking about 50 shades of grey lately) me: I make all my dreams come true! her: sends me a pic of her drinking on of my beers me: Thats naughty! Im warming up my hand right now her: Keep dreaming ha me: Sleepy time, Sweet dreams..of me! Nothing to kinky though her: Dream on. her about 45 minutes later: Its so nice to have my bed all to myself! me: I guess I'll have to find my self a new cuddle buddy! < wasn't really sure what I was thinking when I sent that. Anyways sorry for the long winded post, this girl is cool as hell and fun to hang around with, and she doesn't sleep around with other guys. I was a little confused by the keep dreaming comments? Do you think I put my self in the friend zone by not escilating things during the movie? I won't be back in town for another week and a half so I was planning on not communicating with her for a week or so before asking her out for some drinks? Any ideas? Thanks!

Author:	Themagicalone [ Wed Mar 20, 2013 1:56 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Borderline Friend Zone?? Might Have messed up!
Quote: Alright so there's this girl I've known for about 3 years now, she had a boyfriend most of the time but they broke up last fall. So I began talking to her a few months ago texting and such, we went out a few times and had drinks with mutual friends, we live about 2 hours away from each other so we don't see each other a lot. The past past two weeks though we began talking more, since I was going to be home for spring break and would be closer to her. So fast forward to this past friday, me and some guy friends plan a guys night out and I made the mistake of texting her asking if she was around. She wasn't and was really bummed about me not letting her know I was going to be around sooner, and she actually ended up calling me later in the night, we talked for a while and she wanted me to come with her to a parade the next day. I agreed to go and told her to call me in the morning and we'll figure things out. So She called me the next day after the party already started! haha we talked about our plans for later that night, she said going to be staying there and wouldn't be coming up. Well she ends up surprising me, later that night and shows up. So she comes out to the bars with us, we had a great time, there felt like some connection between us, we danced, joked around, had a little whip cream fight and held hands when walking to different bars. The two of us ended up getting seperated from the rest of the group and it was getting late so we decided to take a cab back to her place. We were both pretty drunk so we decide to go to bed, she lets me sleep in her bed, we just cuddled, I didn't make any further moves because we were both pretty drunk. So The next morning we wake and she wants to go out for brunch, so we go out and we talk about what our plans our for that day, we talk about any new movies that are out and she asks if I want to hang out and watch a movie with her. We end up going back to her place and watching a movie in her bed, but I didn't make any moves we just layed there! I don't know if it was because I was hungover or what but I feel like I f-ed up there! I left, then texted her later that night because I had forgot my beer at her house, it went like this. me: I left my beer at your house, try not to drink it all. her: too bad so sad, mine now! me: I'm giving you a spanking for every beer thats missing! her: Keep dreaming christian grey! (we've been talking about 50 shades of grey lately) me: I make all my dreams come true! her: sends me a pic of her drinking on of my beers me: Thats naughty! Im warming up my hand right now her: Keep dreaming ha me: Sleepy time, Sweet dreams..of me! Nothing to kinky though her: Dream on. her about 45 minutes later: Its so nice to have my bed all to myself! me: I guess I'll have to find my self a new cuddle buddy! < wasn't really sure what I was thinking when I sent that. Anyways sorry for the long winded post, this girl is cool as hell and fun to hang around with, and she doesn't sleep around with other guys. I was a little confused by the keep dreaming comments? Do you think I put my self in the friend zone by not escilating things during the movie? I won't be back in town for another week and a half so I was planning on not communicating with her for a week or so before asking her out for some drinks? Any ideas? Thanks! U had 2 really really good chances for making a move on her you can't be a pussy, I don't think your out of it but you may be on the border of being in the friend zone. Bottom line next time you get her one on one in a comfortable scene have confidence and use a kiss close rountine.

Author:	Rs5150 [ Wed Mar 20, 2013 2:37 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Borderline Friend Zone?? Might Have messed up!
This chick is begging for it. Make a move my man

Author:	ItsKarma [ Wed Mar 20, 2013 6:21 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Borderline Friend Zone?? Might Have messed up!
She definitely wants it. Take the chance bro!

Author:	Fly_Swatter [ Wed Mar 20, 2013 7:18 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Borderline Friend Zone?? Might Have messed up!
Not in the friend zone at all. Her "keep dreaming" comment is just not to seem easy. I wouldn't lose sleep over this. But next chance you get, you better stick it in her.

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Author:	Ranger21 [ Wed Mar 20, 2013 6:41 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Borderline Friend Zone?? Might Have messed up!
I really do need to stop being such a pussy haha! I need to work on my inner game some more a build up a little more confidence, that seems to be holding me back. Anyway, do you guys think I should initiate contact at all, seeing as I won't be able to see her until next week at the earliest? I was planning on giving her a call early next week and set something up.

Author:	Themagicalone [ Wed Mar 20, 2013 8:38 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Borderline Friend Zone?? Might Have messed up!
Quote: I really do need to stop being such a pussy haha! I need to work on my inner game some more a build up a little more confidence, that seems to be holding me back. Anyway, do you guys think I should initiate contact at all, seeing as I won't be able to see her until next week at the earliest? I was planning on giving her a call early next week and set something up. You don't need to contact her until 2-3 days before you get back

Author:	Ranger21 [ Thu Apr 04, 2013 2:41 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Borderline Friend Zone?? Might Have messed up!
well I've got good news and bad news. Good news is I gave her a call last night and let her know I was going to be back in town and told her we should go out for some drinks. She agreed. Then came the curveball, she texts me today. this is how it went her: heyy! me: I had the craziest dream ever last night! her: what is that? me: in fact you were in it. her: oh man really me: it was pretty intense and vivid her: oh my god haha her: that's weird ha her: I dont want you to think I wanna get in a relationship or anything cuz I dont at all. idk what you think but just making it clear. I feel like I screwed up big time with those texts? Any way to salvage it? Should I still plan on going out with her tomorrow, or just next her and move on?

Author:	Ranger21 [ Thu Apr 04, 2013 3:43 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Borderline Friend Zone?? Might Have messed up!
I think I know where I f-ed up. I got a little drunk last weekend and told a mutual friend that she was pretty cool and I really liked hanging out with her, and she found out about this. anyway here's how the rest of our convo went. me: thats weird why would you think that her: idk just wanted to make things clear me: i was never looking for a relationship either her: good! me: just because I would go on a date with you, doesnt mean I would date you her: haha i suppose

Author:	neo87 [ Thu Apr 04, 2013 3:49 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Borderline Friend Zone?? Might Have messed up!
The texts didn't mess you up. You're in the friend zone badly. Everything you've done with her (physically) is what girls do with guy friends. When you text flirty stuff she brushes it off. She's resisting you because she sees you as a friend.

Author:	coolday [ Thu Apr 04, 2013 3:51 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Borderline Friend Zone?? Might Have messed up!
Quote: well I've got good news and bad news. Good news is I gave her a call last night and let her know I was going to be back in town and told her we should go out for some drinks. She agreed. Then came the curveball, she texts me today. this is how it went her: heyy! me: I had the craziest dream ever last night! her: what is that? me: in fact you were in it. her: oh man really me: it was pretty intense and vivid her: oh my god haha her: that's weird ha her: I dont want you to think I wanna get in a relationship or anything cuz I dont at all. idk what you think but just making it clear. I feel like I screwed up big time with those texts? Any way to salvage it? Should I still plan on going out with her tomorrow, or just next her and move on? Three possible ways: 1. she just wanna hook up 2. she wants you to work harder and man up 3. she actually thinks you're just a good friend to her I think you should give another try, and this time you should escalate and create sexual attractive. Let her know that you are not an option to her. Don't be too clingy though, and she might get crept out of it. If she doesn't show signs of attraction this time, dude you should move on!

Author:	Fly_Swatter [ Thu Apr 04, 2013 4:05 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Borderline Friend Zone?? Might Have messed up!
Like neo87 said, it wasn't the texts that downed you. However I don't necessarily agree that you're in the friend zone. Just treat it like a shit test. Go ahead and hang out with her. But escalate this time, like I told you two weeks ago. Nice recovery though: "just because I want to go on a date with you, doesn't mean I'd go out with you." Classic.

Author:	n2thevoid [ Thu Apr 04, 2013 5:22 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Borderline Friend Zone?? Might Have messed up!
Quote: well I've got good news and bad news. Good news is I gave her a call last night and let her know I was going to be back in town and told her we should go out for some drinks. She agreed. Then came the curveball, she texts me today. this is how it went her: heyy! me: I had the craziest dream ever last night! her: what is that? me: in fact you were in it. her: oh man really me: it was pretty intense and vivid her: oh my god haha her: that's weird ha her: I dont want you to think I wanna get in a relationship or anything cuz I dont at all. idk what you think but just making it clear. I feel like I screwed up big time with those texts? Any way to salvage it? Should I still plan on going out with her tomorrow, or just next her and move on? She's not interested in you romantically, and/or sexually. I say this because you implying the dream was "intense and vivid" has a sexual connotation, and her stonewalling you like that rather than engaging you to continue further on this 'dream' tells me she's not interested in going there with you. Also, her statement of "not wanting to get into a relationship or anything" indicates just that, she doesn't see you as a potential romantic interest. I'm not saying I am dead on, but I wouldn't hedge my bets on her making and moves or even being receptive to yours. It's not that you did ANYTHING wrong, some women just wont be charmed by us no matter how solid our game may be, accept it and move on. It's in no way a reflection of you, so don't personalize it.

Author:	Ranger21 [ Thu Apr 04, 2013 5:52 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Borderline Friend Zone?? Might Have messed up!
Quote: She's not interested in you romantically, and/or sexually. I say this because you implying the dream was "intense and vivid" has a sexual connotation, and her stonewalling you like that rather than engaging you to continue further on this 'dream' tells me she's not interested in going there with you. Also, her statement of "not wanting to get into a relationship or anything" indicates just that, she doesn't see you as a potential romantic interest. I'm not saying I am dead on, but I wouldn't hedge my bets on her making and moves or even being receptive to yours. It's not that you did ANYTHING wrong, some women just wont be charmed by us no matter how solid our game may be, accept it and move on. It's in no way a reflection of you, so don't personalize it. The more I think about it the more I agree with you. I think I i'm just gonna flake on her, I've already got a big weekend planned in the city with some best buds so I'm just gonna use this as a lesson that I need to do a better job at escalating things.

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Author:	Fly_Swatter [ Thu Apr 04, 2013 6:58 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Borderline Friend Zone?? Might Have messed up!
I respect n2thevoid's opinion but I'm not convinced you're friend zoned. Besides, you won't know for sure until you actually put some moves on. Keep in mind you two were cuddling just a few weeks ago. Don't flake. Go ahead and find out for yourself.