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I don't have trouble approaching
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Author:  BitchButterflies [ Sun Mar 17, 2013 1:13 am ]
Post subject:  I don't have trouble approaching
I don't have trouble approaching girls, I find it fun when I just go up to girls and ask for numbers. I usually do pretty well, and when it fails I don't mind because I wasn't interested in a relationship with her; its just a game.
The problem with me is I'm terrified of failing when I am genuinely interested in a girl.
New situation: became friends with her when she still had a boyfriend, started to hang out more with her now that's she's single. We would often hang out and go to places and events that couples would do. I'm starting to really like her but I'm really not sure if she feels the same way, and because we're friends and I like her so much , I'm terrified of asking her out.
I want to get it over with and just do it already, what would be the best situation to ask her out? Just during one of our regular hangouts? What should I say?
TL;DR I do fine with girls I just want to fuck around with, when I don't see a real future with them. Once I start to like a girl I get scared as fuck.
Author:  Defy [ Sun Mar 17, 2013 6:47 am ]
Post subject:  Re: I don't have trouble approaching
It seems to me that you are not really throwing yourself out there. Your attitude seems like when you hit on girl and goes good, you say "I am the man", and when it goes bad, you are like "I never liked her to begin with". That is not really the best frame to have. Hence you suffer when there is a girl you really like.

This all has to to with your comfort zone, it is in your comfort zone to approach girls, but it is not in your comfort zone to truly express yourself. I don't know why that is, but I am guessing that could be your problem.

And also coming from the scarcity frame. We all hate losing girls that we really like, but hey, not matter how great she is, she is no better than me, and there are many girls better than her out there. And it is our job to find them. And here I'm assuming that you are ready to come clean in front of this girl. Which you are not.

Don't be one of those shallow PUA guys, that just hit on girls and hope to get some. That is not what Game is about.
Author:  BitchButterflies [ Sun Mar 17, 2013 8:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I don't have trouble approaching
Quote:
It seems to me that you are not really throwing yourself out there. Your attitude seems like when you hit on girl and goes good, you say "I am the man", and when it goes bad, you are like "I never liked her to begin with". That is not really the best frame to have. Hence you suffer when there is a girl you really like.

This all has to to with your comfort zone, it is in your comfort zone to approach girls, but it is not in your comfort zone to truly express yourself. I don't know why that is, but I am guessing that could be your problem.

And also coming from the scarcity frame. We all hate losing girls that we really like, but hey, not matter how great she is, she is no better than me, and there are many girls better than her out there. And it is our job to find them. And here I'm assuming that you are ready to come clean in front of this girl. Which you are not.

Don't be one of those shallow PUA guys, that just hit on girls and hope to get some. That is not what Game is about.
Thanks a lot man, this really hit close to home and I realized you described me perfectly. I really want to become better, and come clean. I just have the question, if I want to leave my comfort zone and express myself, how would I do it to this girl? It will be awkward now in my opinion to go up to her and say I think she's pretty etc... How exactly would I approach this topic with her?
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