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Girl with boyfriend - how to respond to her text?
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Author:  Pikeman85 [ Fri Mar 15, 2013 4:00 pm ]
Post subject:  Girl with boyfriend - how to respond to her text?
Ok so I got this girl's number two weeks ago. She told me she had a boyfriend, which of course I didn't believe. I flirted with her, asked for her number, which she rejected, but said that if she did not have a boyfriend, she totally would have.

I see her again later on that night, flirt with her a bit more, she gives me the number, and is texting me by the end of the night on her own.

Anyway, we've been texting off and on for about two weeks now, I invited her out once at the very beginning, which she declined. In the last few days (3 or 4), we've REALLY been stepping it up. Whereas before we texted maybe one or two texts per day on average, we're texting usually like at least 5, sometimes as high as like, 20.

I'm pretty sure she actually has a boyfriend - she's given me specific facts (we met on New Years, he's 32, his name is Chris) - but she seems pretty neutral about him. She likes him, but she's also still not really sure about him (they've been dating for 2.5 months). On the other hand, me and her have been texting about a lot of shared interests, she told me she likes how I'm well dressed, and she said that we have a lot in common.

I asked her if she liked Thai food, and she said she's never had it, and wants to try it. I invited her out to show her a Thai place and go thrift shopping with her (another mutual interest of ours).

Her response was "That's starting to sound like a date"

Now, I'll be perfectly honest - I DO want to fuck this girl (and she's certainly aware of that fact, though we've never expressed it explicitly), but she also seems cool and I'd be fine with befriending her too (though if her and her BF broke up, we'd almost certainly fuck) - I wouldn't even care if she LJBF'd me (I could use more hot female friends - excellent wings, and it isn't like I don't have quite a few women available to me at any time I want).

What is the best way to approach this situation? Should I assure her we'll meet as friends only, should I make a joke about it, how should I handle it?

My ideal scenario would be for it to be a "not date" - we're just making friends, but we're also seeing if there's potential there for something else, and if there is, maybe in a few weeks, she decides she's just not "feeling it" with her old boyfriend. If there isn't, we're still friends.

How would you respond to her text?

Am I reading this situation entirely wrong?
Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Fri Mar 15, 2013 4:26 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girl with boyfriend - how to respond to her text?
Quote:
(and she's certainly aware of that fact, though we've never expressed it explicitly),
How would you respond to her text?

Am I reading this situation entirely wrong?
Express it explicitly!

Escalate sexually!

She wouldn't be talking to you still if that were not the case.

The go fuck her Tiger!
Author:  Pikeman85 [ Fri Mar 15, 2013 4:27 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girl with boyfriend - how to respond to her text?
Escalating sexually over text with a girl with a boyfriend? I'm not even sure how I would go about that, let alone whether she'd respond positively to it.

Hell, I used the phrase, "you can't handle me" and that set her off.
Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Fri Mar 15, 2013 4:31 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girl with boyfriend - how to respond to her text?
Try baby steps, ask her what type of underwear she prefers, what does she have on now, ....so on
Author:  Pikeman85 [ Fri Mar 15, 2013 4:36 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girl with boyfriend - how to respond to her text?
Anyway, this is getting minorly off topic. I'm talking about ending the text messaging game and moving her to real life, where escalation is easier and more likely to succeed.

How do I deal with the situation at hand? I can deal with my sexual text game later.
Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Fri Mar 15, 2013 4:48 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girl with boyfriend - how to respond to her text?
Quote:
Anyway, this is getting minorly off topic. I'm talking about ending the text messaging game and moving her to real life, where escalation is easier and more likely to succeed.

How do I deal with the situation at hand? I can deal with my sexual text game later.
Ask her to meet you at a mall or some shit, to help you pick out a shirt for this thing your doing, you need a female opinion. I would even go so far as to say "Make sure you keep your hands to yourself, it's not like a date or anything!" with humor.
Author:  Pikeman85 [ Fri Mar 15, 2013 4:51 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girl with boyfriend - how to respond to her text?
Ok, so I've already proposed thai food and thrift shopping with her.

That's when she said "thats starting to sound like a date"

which is the last text I received from her.

At this point, I'm not sure whether to play it straight "Oh, yeah, I guess it does"

or go for something like "Nah, we're just chilling"

or even something forceful like "Deal with it" (I don't think this one though)
Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Fri Mar 15, 2013 4:55 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girl with boyfriend - how to respond to her text?
How about "What can't two friends hangout?"
Author:  Wizzay [ Fri Mar 15, 2013 5:09 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girl with boyfriend - how to respond to her text?
Bro, let me tell you something, you have the absolute right mindset about this. Sex? good! no sex? hot female wing. Damn I respect you for that. Making a positive out of every situation. Now with that in mind, it doesn't really matter what you text her, just go like
" haha you can make it sound however you want, I'm just in for eating thai and thrift shopping"
(Maybe you can throw in "with a nice girl" at the end but maybe thats will sound to needy).
Author:  Pikeman85 [ Fri Mar 15, 2013 5:54 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girl with boyfriend - how to respond to her text?
What about:

Sounds like, but isn't. I wouldn't take an attached girl that I respect on a date. I just want to hang out with you and get to know you better.

Too weak?
Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Fri Mar 15, 2013 6:15 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girl with boyfriend - how to respond to her text?
The more a man respects a woman, the less pussy he will have.

Ask yourself, do you want to respect her? Or fuck her?

Do not mention the bf....ever, instant fail. She will instantly start thinking about him and HIS feelings. Who the fuck wants that?
Author:  Hunter_Foxe [ Fri Mar 15, 2013 6:25 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girl with boyfriend - how to respond to her text?
The more you text, the less she will be interested. She may be giving you good signs like "awesome! Ur so cool!" But if you havent done anything with her sexually you owe her nothing! Push for a meetup, if she cant specify a date, tell her to let you know when shes free and STOP texting! 20 text messages a day with a girl you haven't fucked is a bad sign unless all the messages were sexual. Stop trying to look for stuff you have in common, she has a boyfriend and clearly just wants to fuck.
Author:  Pikeman85 [ Fri Mar 15, 2013 6:37 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girl with boyfriend - how to respond to her text?
If you're reading "Just wants to fuck" out of that, I don't know how to help you. She's clearly trying to upgrade.

Good point on the not mentioning a BF. Smart move. Though I really don't think there ARE feelings really. It seems like it is more of a convenience relationship.
Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Fri Mar 15, 2013 6:50 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girl with boyfriend - how to respond to her text?
Well she doesn't just want to sneak off and play canasta, and pick out thrift store items.
Author:  ItsAlwaysOn [ Fri Mar 15, 2013 11:52 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girl with boyfriend - how to respond to her text?
i think what id try to do here is set the frame that you two are doing something fun, sneaky, naughty and adventurous together. therefore you need to be everything hes not. shes clearly bored with him and that relationship obviously isnt going anywhere. so be sexual, fun, spontaneous, etc.

so when she says "thats starting to sound like a date", id respond with "lol no i dont go on dates with girls that have boyfriends". then no matter how she responds the next text id send her would be "i just sleep with them". that puts all the cards on the table but does so in a way thats kinda amusing. if she continues the discussion id abruptly switch topics to something else, especially if she starts with something like "ya well i dont cheat" or whatever. occasionally mix in callback humor and subtle jokes about you two having a secret fling. you dont wanna overdo it, but you do wanna throw out there that you can provide exactly what shes looking for - a good time, good sex, something fun, etc.
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