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Need advice on few girls
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Author:  Zaten [ Thu Mar 07, 2013 10:26 pm ]
Post subject:  Need advice on few girls

Hi, this might be a long post so I apologize in advance. First of all little introduction. I am 26, in decent shape, decent looking (other people words not mine), I can make most people laugh without really trying, and usually at work the one everyone will go to if they cant figure something out. With that said I never been in ltr and still a virgin even though I made out with several girls, received bjs, fingered girls, but I usually would end "relationships" with them before things would escalate further, either because in my head they were nothing special and I liked them physically but not emotionally or I am just making a big deal out of such trivial thing for some people as getting laid. Lately I been getting very depressed that so many years are passing me by but I am still lonely and very inexperienced sexually.


So here comes the girls part, I had this co-worker that I get along pretty well, I liked her from the start but turned out she had a boyfriend so I never really bothered her about going out since I didn't feel like ruining other people happiness especially if I have to work with them, and not like I have much experience to do that anyway. Over time we became pretty good friends and she would tell me how her mother and friends hate her boyfriend and she cant understand why. I told her if she likes him then she shouldn't be bothered by other people opinion, but I started wondering if maybe not everything is so wonderful and I might have a chance. Looking at Facebook they seemed very happy and she always told me about all the nice things she does for her. Buys her expensive neck-less while having no job and basically just saving all his money to get it for her, taking her out somewhere every week and generally worrying about her all the time. To me he seems like a nice guy who was able to score nice girl and doing everything right to make her happy, even though I guess some people would qualify him as 'needy' and seeking her attention all the time but hey he is actually dating her.


I was also trying to increase my social interaction more at the time so I started flirting with a lot of my female coworkers, most of them are married but I was doing it mostly in a joke sort of manner, couple of them even said they were thinking of calling me one night when they were in the bar drinking and I just laughed it off. Mostly because they are in their 40's and married and like I said before not really looking here to fuck just anyone.


Anyway I started flirting with the one with a boyfriend and there would generally be lots of touching and for some reason she became mine oneitis, maybe because I was getting so good with her at work or maybe because I became jealous of her happy relationship. So I started seeing another girl but again I didn't want to commit to her since I only liked her physically and we ended up 'braking up' after few month.


So now I was back focusing on my oneitis and whenever she would ask me for help I would tell her she now owes me a date or would just hint at how she should brake up with her boyfriend and get with me instead and she would say its to bad we didn't meet first. I actually even told her one day that i am still a virgin even though I had opportunities and she said that she thought it was cute and she is actually a virgin as well.


I started imagining how fantastic it would be to be with her and decided to check out her Facebook again when I saw a video she made of her and a boyfriend for valentine. It was very cute and they both seemed to adorable which crushed me since I realized that I got way to obsessed with her and need to get on with my life which would still be hard since I have to see her 20+ hours a week, so I set up several dates with few other girls (I will write about them below it is not going to be as long sorry), and she even found out that I am going out with them and I am not sure if she became jealous but she is asking me about them time to time. She also started being more touchy recently but still in playful friendly manner, told me that her boyfriend is jealous of me, when I asked why she said its because we work so much together and apparently she told him that I helped her with few things which I didn't. She also told me that her mom liked me with a shorter hair, apparently she showed my pictures to her on Facebook and when I asked why she said she shows all her friends to her mom. Now recently she asked me if I want to take the class with her during the summer. We both need that class but the campus she goes to is 5-10 minutes further for me.


Now basically here is my question regarding her. I like her a lot, she knows I like her and seems to like me but I think I might be deep in friend zone here and she might be just using me to keep her boyfriend in line and I don't want to be anyone's tool. Should I take the class with her? Its not really that much of inconvenience for me but I don't know if I should do it because I think she just wants to take this class with me so I can help her study. I feel like it might either destroy her relationship with a bf or make it stronger and I feel conflicted about it. After all I suppose to get over oneitis and this might just make it worse.


Big apologies for huge wall of text but I am conflicted here. Next (smaller) wall of text will be about the other girls I been seeing to get over this one.

Author:  Zaten [ Thu Mar 07, 2013 10:50 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Need advice on few girls

So few weeks ago a polish girl I knew 3 years ago called me up at work and asked me how I am, and since I wanted to get over my oneitis, I jumped on opportunity and asked her out. We went out for a coffee and at first she was just telling me all about her life problems (I know its a horrible way to build chemistry), I decided to escalate things somehow and just pretended that I know how to read palms and basically held her hand telling her bunch of bs which she liked, then I started playing with her bracelet and ended up holding her hand for the rest of the night while we talked for another 2 hours or so, she did became more flirty and started ignoring all the incoming phone calls which she was answering earlier. The place was closed already for an hour when we finally left I just held her really close to me thinking I will be able to k-close while we talked some more about things that we will do together and what not but when I went for a kiss she just turned her cheek and said like a friend or something to that extent. We said goodbye's and I felt like I was pushing her to much in the end but didn't really care since I don't really like her that much. Thing is she is considered to be pretty hot by most guys that know her but I personally don't really care about her looks that much and she has to much baggage for me to be with her in ltr but I still felt shitty for not being able to k-close.


Now she texted me more the next week asking me how I am and what not but texts seemed much shorter than before. We still set up few more dates to go one on sunday I worked for sushi and another one for Wednesday to the zoo. Then on sunday afternoon I asked her if she wants me to pick her up or should we just meet there to which she said she is no longer can make it since she has a new roommate moving in and she has to clean the house. I knew that she was trying to get someone to move in with her since she needs money so I didnt really care much and just told her that she now owes me. Wednesday also didn't happen because her schedule changed and she had to work that day now, well w/e shit happens I understand, she still said we have to meet and she had sunday off. At this point I am feeling this less and less and texted her:
Me: So how is your new roomie?
Her: So far... So good.
Me: Well that is good so are we still on for sunday?
Her: I think so......

Honestly to me it seems like we done but I might be over analyzing this. I am tempted to just cancel the whole thing because it seems like a waste of time at this point. Any opinions if I should even bother???

Author:  Zaten [ Thu Mar 07, 2013 11:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Need advice on few girls

Now 3rd girl (shortest wall of text) is a Russian girl I knew but never bothered asking out before. We set up a date before polish chick but she had to go out of state and since I was busy myself I never bothered following up. Well when polish chick flaked on me on Sunday I said fuck it and texted Russian chick to meet me on wednsday for yogurt or w/e. She said she will only have an hour at max, we met the place apparently wouldn't open for another 20 min, so we just walked around a bit just talking but I feel I might have been either to touchy or just being to much in her face since I started talking about this ridiculous scenarios of things we could together. When the place opened she said she cant really go there now since she working night shift and has to go home and get some sleep before her shift. That pissed me off honestly since why would she even agree to meet me if she only had 20 min to waste so I started thinking maybe I blew it somehow.

Me: When do you have a day off?
Her:I don't know, I am not sure what I am doing Saturday after work yet.
Me: Well that is easy, you going out with me.
Her: maybe, will see.

And then I gave her a hug and left. Here I don't know if I should bother with following up with that Saturday because the whole 20 min date thing pissed me off, and I don't think she liked me that much anyway.


Either way combination of this things brought my mood down and I started feeling that there might be something wrong with me socially or just really bad luck. I was thinking of starting doing cold approach but I am worried now about loosing people interest after first date.

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