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Girl invites me to go out with her friends i don't know
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Author:  Apocalyptica [ Wed Mar 06, 2013 10:05 pm ]
Post subject:  Girl invites me to go out with her friends i don't know
hello
short story:
met this girl at my previous work. i played it very cool, invited her for a drink over lunch once. didn't had any contact for some weeks due to christmass break. after holiday i wrote her a short message, she replied asking to meet up. we did. after, we met up another time. there is clearly signs of improvment concerning our connection.
in our last meet up (drink after work), she was asking me to join her and her best friend who's visiting her in the country

now she asked me to go out next friday for drinks at her place with her and her friends (people i do not know AT ALL)

what to make of this? friend zoned? or just a careful date to avoid uncomfortable situations?

Should i accept and go? kind of akward sitting there with her, whom after all i do not know that well, and people i've never met before
Should i decline, and say to meet up for the next evening, just with the one best friend instead of the group ?

she's a very sociable persons, so i bet the "group" will be 5+ people
thanks a lot !
Author:  Cuffs [ Wed Mar 06, 2013 10:13 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girl invites me to go out with her friends i don't know
Hey!

Good scenario!
Me personally, id take it as a sign that shes inviting you out so she can see her friends opinions of you...if you feel uncomfortable about going alone against 5 other (which i dont blame u) why dont u drop her a casual message and say: hey my friend was wondering if he could come too, he just broke up with his long term girlfriend and would do him good to get out for a bit.
That way uve done two things, uve managed to get a friend there so u dont feel too left out, and secondly uve shown her your good natured side by helping out a friend,

Just find a mate whos slightly outgoing, no one whos gunna make u look stupid but at the same time u dont wanna babysit :)
Author:  Cups [ Thu Mar 07, 2013 1:58 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Girl invites me to go out with her friends i don't know
I like Cuffs idea of bringing a friend if you don't feel comfortable just make sure that it's not just you and your friend sitting in a corner together! To a girl, the opinion of her friends plays a major role in her decisions so make sure that you are engaging all of them throughout the night, maybe even more than engaging her. Don't freeze her out but don't let her be your only focus throughout the night. If her friends like you, she will hear about it from them after!
Author:  Fly_Swatter [ Thu Mar 07, 2013 2:32 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Girl invites me to go out with her friends i don't know
Honestly, this is a big test. In an ideal world, you should accept the invitation and be extremely social to everyone. Try ignoring her just a tad. If you have the occasion to talk to someone else, do it. Try not clinging onto her vagina. Go around introducing yourself if she doesn't introduce you. This is the best way to DHV. And needless to say, you need decent social skills to pull this off. You can invite a friend if this will make you more at ease. Good luck.
Author:  Apocalyptica [ Thu Mar 07, 2013 3:29 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girl invites me to go out with her friends i don't know
I am actually doubting whether to go or not.

I have no CLEAR IOI's that she is into me. She could try to put me in the friend-zone by going out with her friends.

The first three times we met up was 1 on 1, but they were nothing more than a coffee/beer after work, no real romantic "date" settings.

Going there and meeting her friends would actually be a step back.

I also don't get how she announces this to her group of friends. A guy will join i just met? But nobody of you guys know him? Wtf ?

What is yr opinion? Maybe say i'm busy and try to meet up 1 on 1 again? Or just go and DHV ? I have a lot of social skills, but it still will be rather uncomfortable.

How on earth would you invite your friends if you would meet a hot chick you want to date. It just doesn't make any sense.

To be clear: SHE set up the "date", and we are going to have some drinks at HER place after we will go out. So i basically can't invite a friend of mine to her house.
Author:  krular [ Thu Mar 07, 2013 3:36 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girl invites me to go out with her friends i don't know
I think her asking you to go is a clear IOI's, especially when none of them no you. Perfect opportunity to DHV and neg her a little, if done right she will be all into you.
Author:  krular [ Thu Mar 07, 2013 3:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girl invites me to go out with her friends i don't know
Plus you will get to see her reactions with a little kino around friends. If all signs are good, once her friends are gone or at the end of the night when you are leaving use the squeeze hand technique, if she squeezes your hand back, she is interested in kissing you.
Author:  mAkon [ Thu Mar 07, 2013 6:04 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girl invites me to go out with her friends i don't know
It's not that uncommon for highly sociable people to invite new people they like to hangout with a group, I have a few natural friends that you would never find alone they're always with a group of people, that's just how they are.

She's likely going in 1 of 2 directions, she's considering you relationship material and wants to see what her friends will think of you, or she friendzoning you. Either way you should go, be social get her friends to like you. Even if she's friendzoning you she might have cute friends that she could help you get if she likes you. There are worst things then having a cute girl as a friend. Like sitting at home wondering what could have been.
Author:  Fly_Swatter [ Thu Mar 07, 2013 6:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girl invites me to go out with her friends i don't know
There's no such thing as a girl "trying" to put you in a friendzone. It's a subconscious process and not deliberate at all. Only YOU are responsible for ending up in said zone.
Author:  Icyy [ Thu Mar 07, 2013 10:04 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girl invites me to go out with her friends i don't know
From what I have learned through hard experience, is that the "friend zone" isn't really determinable. It is possible that after you go and sit with her friends that she could put you in the friend zone. But if you show interest in her and clearly state that you dont want to be her friend but more than that u shouldn't be very afraid of that even if u are in the "friend zone" u can still get out if it by saying that you two aren't friends but aquintances in the progress of knowing each other and growing psychically and emotionally towards each other.

I used and it worked. But still if u do it right by showing interest, kino and even create an emotional connection u shouldn't be scared. Oh and also get along with her friends cause that gives u alot of bonus points.

Icy
_________________

Your strengt isn't determined by how much u can lift but by the way u can carry yourself through hardship and downfall. When all things are down, thats when our true strength comes out. ~ Icy
Author:  Apocalyptica [ Sat Mar 09, 2013 1:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girl invites me to go out with her friends i don't know
Ok, so I went out yesterday with her friends. Mainly girls. If there was a guy, he wasn't single. No other orbiters.

I was very sociable, entertained the group, and i could tell that her friends really like me. So much that at the end of the night, one of her friends told me that they are going tonight to a club and asked if i wanted to join. That friend told her to the target she invited me, after which she invited me as well (the target thus didn't invited me directly, i am not sure whether she was planning to do so)

The target was kino'ing me (note: she is southern, so i wouldn't look too much into that, it's quite common for them to touch a lot), and was laughing at all my jokes. I am 100% sure she likes me, the question is whether she sees me as a potential lover yes/no.

I kind off gave a bit more attention to her friends than to her, which i think was the right strategy.

My worries are still the same: i'm going out with her AND HER FRIENDS. And i feel like this is going the wrong way.

I'll try to pull her a little bit more tonight. I'm wondering if this is going to work out. Is it that common for girls to go out with her friends and a guy the potentially would like to date?

I'm pretty experienced in entertaining groups and make people like me, i'm probably less experienced in actually getting the target out of the group.
Author:  Apocalyptica [ Sat Mar 09, 2013 1:48 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girl invites me to go out with her friends i don't know
Additional question:

how to make some statements that make clear you aren't going to be her friend?

something like : " i kind of like you, your pretty cute and funny" ? "we should go out one on one sometime"
Author:  Hunter_Foxe [ Sat Mar 09, 2013 4:29 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girl invites me to go out with her friends i don't know
You are never officially friend zoned until she gives you the LJBF speech.
Author:  Fly_Swatter [ Sun Mar 10, 2013 3:14 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Girl invites me to go out with her friends i don't know
Quote:
Additional question:

how to make some statements that make clear you aren't going to be her friend?

something like : " i kind of like you, your pretty cute and funny" ? "we should go out one on one sometime"
Don't have that talk. Instead, show it. You can keep entertaining her friends as long as you don't flirt with them. When you get a chance to be with her, you can always escalate in front of her friends as long as it's just light touching, maybe even a small kiss on the cheek. Don't ever have a stupid talk about liking her. That's just dumb. Go out there and take what you want.
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