I'm feeling like shit right now, and to be honest I think it takes someone from the PUA community to understand me and how I feel. So I hope to get some feedback and help to deal with this shit.
About six months ago I met this gorgeous, tiny latino girl who's bisexual and prefers girls instead of boys. She had previously dated an ex of mine, and even though she is...well "75% lesbian" we had amazing and passionate sex. It was in fact the best sex I have ever had, and I've been with 49 girls so far.
She also came loudly and often and sometimes she would come so hard she would cry. She said many times that it was the best sex she has hever had.
But she was also a drama queen, and she talked shit about me behind my back to our common ex-gf (the girl she dated before she met me that I had also dated previously). I looked the other way and forgave her, as I knew she was still in love with that girl, and assumed that there would be a sweet and caring girl waiting for me if I helped her get through her sorrow.
So I supported her when she was depressed about work, about her health issues or otherwise, and we had lots of sex, hung out together and could talk for hours. Even though I am 31 years old and hold a university degree and she is an unemployed 20 year old girl (and an immature one at that) who still lives at her mother's home.
We talked about threesomes from time to time, but she told me she had no interest in having one. She wanted to either be passive with a dominant man, or be the dominant one with a feminine and submissive girl.
I told her that it would probably be awesome for her to dominate another girl with a man - so that she could really "give it" to the other girl. And she agreed in theory, but was reluctant.
One time she said that one of her friends wanted to join us for a threesome, but after having sex with her she changed her mind. I also introduceds her to a hot bi-curious girl I know, but realized that my sweet little angel was actively trying to squeeze me out of the deal and have the girl to herself.
I told her many times that I wanted a break from our relationship, as I felt she didn't treat me well enough, but forgave her and took her back when she apologized and came running back. Big mistake!
We dated exclusively for a while, but I then found out she had sent messages to her friends telling them how I wasn't attractive enough, that she had no feelings for me etc. The same day as she wrote some of these messages she asked me (for the third time) if we could change our relationship status on facebook and be exclusive. She also spammed my wall on facebook with pictures of us together, called me many times each day and sent me about 50 to 100 messages a day on facebook and as text messages on my phone.
She also told me she loved me, and wanted sex all the freakin' time. Strange behaviour from a girl that feels nothing, I would say.
I was starting to get feelings for this girl, but I snapped when I found out that she had gone behind my back and I said some things to her that were way out of line. I then called her up and gave her a long apology and explained why I did it, and how she had hurt me.
During the period of time that we were fighting, she had gotten in contact with another bisexual girl and they had planned to meet yesterday to have sex with each other. The other girl had bought a strap-on dildo and other toys, and they would take films.
The other girl lived with a man, but "my" girl said she was not interested in a threesome. I know that the other girl was actively trying to help her (male) room mate to get him a threesome.
My girl was nervous as hell before heading over there, and even though I didn't really like that she was having sex with someone else, I knew that experiencing girls and figure out her sexuality was something she had to do. As long as I could also see other girls, and be the nr. 1 man in her life I could live with this arrangement.
Also, "my" girl wanted to have sex with me the day before meeting this other girl, but I had other plans and declined.
She told me she would send me a text message after having sex with this girl, telling me how it was. The girls started having sex at around 10 o'clock in the evening.
At 3.30 in the morning she sent me a message saying "we are halfway done - lots of movies. Ended up having a threesome".
I told her that I felt horrible that she had chosen a random guy she had known for less than two hours to have a threesome with and not me, when she knew how badly I wanted to experience this with her.
She told me: "he helped me take the other girl hard" - which were pretty much the words I used to convince her that a threesome would be a great experience for her as well, as she loves to dominate girls.
She also told me that the guy had fucked them both, and gotten a blowjob from the other girl, while "my" girl was pounding the other girl with a strap-on and fingering her ass.
At 8 o'clock this morning she sent me a message saying "we are done now". They had been at it for 10 hours, apparantly.
I called her up and told her, calmly, how it made me feel that she chose to give this experience to a stranger instead of me - who has been there for her through thick and thin. She didn't seem to care much. I also heard the other girl whispering in the back, so she didn't care about keeping our conversation private either.
I feel like such an idiot, and I'm incredibly jelaous that some random dude got the sexual experience of a life time just handed to him with no effort needed, while I get stuck with shit. And even worse that I helped "my" girl understand how to pick up girls, kino escalate etc. It's almost as if I helped this dude get a once in a lifetime experience at my expense! And he'll probably get to have this experience again and again, while I'm left with nothing but bitterness and humiliation.
I feel like an AFC, even though I have nailed about 20 girls a year for the last couple of years and I just can't help thinking that this is the last chance I had to get a girlfriend - or at least a fuck buddy - that I could share threesomes with. I always assumed that if she ever wanted to go for a threesome, that it would be "our thing" and I would be the man she shared this experience with.
I have dates with four other girls this week, but I can't get any satisfaction from this. I feel like shit and I need some support now, guys.
