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Another text question
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=156584		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  smashthecrash [ Mon Feb 11, 2013 10:00 pm ]
Post subject:  Another text question
This should really have it's own forum by now. Anyways, so Saturday before last I went to the mall visiting my sister, and she had two friends - one HB6 who was engaged and another HB8, whom I got her number. We seemed to get along alright and she was interested. We'd been texting back/forth off/on since then, a few days ago after I ended conversation she spontaneously nothing texted me, etc. So I've been trying to steer the conversation towards more direct stuff, and more sexual, to little avail. I had set up a date on this Friday to go ice skating n such, and in her last text she just cancelled. I'd appreciate any direction on what/if to text back, and where things went wrong. Near the end I think I came off way too cocky, and too disqualifying.

(talking about hockey)
Me: With your mad ice skating skills?
Her: Pff never said I had mad ice skating skills... haven't been on skates for 2 years due to injuries... and didn't skate often before that
Her: I have both figure and hockey skates though
Me: Ah. I was just trying to figure out what you're good at, so I can beat you in it :)
Her: Uh huh
Me: Tell me a naughty story :D [this is probably where things went south]
Her: Aww the boy who wants to beat me in activities wants a naughty story from me... funny
Me: Yeah that's fish in a barrel, ill beat you easily in that department
Her: Ouch sir
Me: Perhaps if you're lucky ill help ya write one ;)
Her: Shakes head
Me: Bet you're excited about Friday.
Her: You give yourself way too much credit sir
Me: I know, I really can't help it. But you can admit it :)
Her: Riiiight
Me: I'm tellin ya, I'm kinda losing my excitement. [nail in the coffin?]
Her: Aww why is that

(I fell asleep, and responded at 3pm today)
Me: I'm thinking you might b e too much of a "good girl"
Her: I think you're looking for a different sort of woman than I am
Me: Is that so. What kind of woman are you?
Her: The kind that feels its more important to be honest with you than to have you ever wonder. Friday outing isn't a good idea, and id rather not make things uncomfortable. As your sis rocks. Thanks anyways.

At this point my only idea is to agree and re-open later on. Actually, Friday wasn't starting to look that great either because of other options I have gained since then. Of course, I wouldn't tell her that but simply something like "Yeah, Friday really isn't looking the best for me either, maybe another time. And yeah, my sis is pretty great :)".

If nothing else, I know better than to address specific points of her text or get defensive. Or try and persist on seeing her Friday. I'd really just like to know where I fucked up and what I should have said to correct future mistakes.
Author:  mindgames [ Mon Feb 11, 2013 11:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Another text question
Yea think its down hill from naughty story everyone of her replies from tell me a naughty story is negative i would have said well you've got the body for a figure skater :P (unless she absolutely does not!) or complemented her in some way
Author:  smashthecrash [ Mon Feb 11, 2013 11:24 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Another text question
Yeah.. she doesn't really, heh. I prefer women who are more outward with their wild side, and this one seems a bit too reserved. I kind of looked at this as my own shit test to her and found her lacking.

Thanks for the post, but it doesn't really answer my question - to respond at all, and if so with what?
Author:  mindgames [ Tue Feb 12, 2013 12:19 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Another text question
You have to reply you cant really leave it like that because she's your sisters friend i would just use the sis thing as a reason to not meet up friday but maybe another time and leave it like that see if she replys after a wile dont think your gona get anywhere with this one she mite be looking nothing but a few paid for nights out.
Author:  VietnameseProdigy [ Tue Feb 12, 2013 6:22 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Another text question
the fuck... how the hell do you jump from ice skating to telling her to give you naughty stories

Also, smileys are gay
Author:  SantasLittleHelper [ Tue Feb 12, 2013 9:36 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Another text question
Quote:
Her: Shakes head
Me: Bet you're excited about Friday.
Her: You give yourself way too much credit sir
Me: I know, I really can't help it. But you can admit it :)
Her: Riiiight
Me: I'm tellin ya, I'm kinda losing my excitement. [nail in the coffin?]
Her: Aww why is that
Why didn't you tone it down a bit somwhere around here? You said yourself that she isn't that open with her wild side, maybe you should have just waited till the meet up and escalated further then?

And I think that looking at her responses, your text didn't come of as playful, but more as being cocky/jerky. Too much sarcasm seems to be coming from her side.
Author:  smashthecrash [ Tue Feb 12, 2013 1:57 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Another text question
Quote:
...You said yourself that she isn't that open with her wild side, maybe you should have just waited till the meet up and escalated further then?

And I think that looking at her responses, your text didn't come of as playful, but more as being cocky/jerky. Too much sarcasm seems to be coming from her side.
About the "wild side" thing, I didn't really come to that conclusion until after this little thread. Most conversation, be it in text or in person, occasionally I'll throw something more playful/sexual in there. Problem in (as VP said about smiles) I absolutely hate/suck at this in text. If I could have absolutely no more text conversation for the rest of my life, I would be ecstatic, because I just can't reflect my fucking personality in a text message.

Another lesson learned - meet up secured, just lay low. Sometimes I think text can be useful, especially for rapport/comfort building, but it's much easier (at least for me) to do that in person. Tone/sarcasm/body language are big parts of my humor, and I'm a rather poor storyteller.

So I realized my mistakes. Sent "Actually Friday isn't that great for me either, maybe another time. I really do want to go ice skating" and left it at that. I still don't think it's a complete lost cause, because up until the day before I definitely had her interest. I think I may have just come off as someone only wanting casual sex - so if that put her off, then so be it. Truth be told it's all I'm really looking for at this point in time. So can anyone answer my original question of where to go from here?
Author:  ItsAlwaysOn [ Tue Feb 12, 2013 2:10 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Another text question
yes, your text game is horrible. at least you realize and admit that. so now you can work on it. i would recommend just being more funny/interesting/playful. tone down the sexuality and cockyness. at least until you know what youre doing. also continue to do all the things that the guys on this forum do: vary your response times, dont send multiple messages in a row, dont respond to all her texts, end the conversation suddenly and on a high note, etc. also use the eddie fews rule: before you send any text to a girl, look at it and ask 'is this fun?' if the answer is no, dont send it...

as far as a sisters friend goes, you need to escalate VERY slowly. id say this is similar to a girl in your social circle or like a friend of a friend. the downside to being labeled a creep is very high.

if you meet some random girl in a mall somewhere or online or wherever and you start talking and you creep her out, its nbd. she'll just delete your number and never talk to you again. however, with your sisters friend, the stakes are so much higher. you dont want to ruin a good friendship for your sister. you dont want stories among your sister and her friends about how creepy you are. above all else you need to make sure that you dont make it awkward. and you made it awkward. big time.

you might be able to recover from this but i would attempt to do so slowly. freeze out for like a week or so. if you her from her, have a short, fun conversation. dont get sexual. if you dont hear from her in that time (very likely) then just send her a low investment text, have a short, fun conversation, then cut it off after a few messages.
Author:  smashthecrash [ Mon Feb 18, 2013 3:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Another text question
Thanks for the reply, alwayson. I've decided for the time being to just minimize texting, and not use emoticons/smileys at all until I ever learn to use them properly... but I don't think they should be necessary regardless. I grew up without a cell phone (I'm 29) and nowadays I can't believe just how important texting is. Even calling is waysided much of the time. My current #1 (an HB7) I've been sleeping with her for over 3 months, probably only spoke on the phone twice in that time period and that was just convenience. All text. Ridiculous.

Regarding sister's friend thing, it was more like her friend's roommate, but I see what you're saying regardless. Sometimes, with random girls, I'll just throw weird shit out there for the learning experience, especially if I don't find them that attractive anyways. Looking back now, once I arranged the meet I could have just left the phone banter to a minimum and ran game in person. Way easier, IMO.

Either way, thanks for the direct advice without being too much of a dick. Good read, for sure.
Author:  Krista Steenbergen [ Mon Feb 18, 2013 6:14 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Another text question
Yep. As said before: way to cocky and TRYING to be funny instead of actually BEING funny ;-)

I do appreciate your courage though!!

I would try to meet up with her for e "tea date" and not initiate anything sexual of flirtatious to built trust with her and confuse her "I thought this guy wanted to fuck me, and now he's ignoring me!?" Same way you would deal with LMR: just turn the lights on and watch TV, pretend like nothing has happened and let her know you don't NEED the sex or naughty stories anyway.

I guess it is your 'task' as a man to open up every girl to her naughty side. It's up to you now haha! Don't judge her for being reserved, it's a chance for you to practice your A-Game!!

LMR is her WISDOM to mirror your MANHOOD! ;-)

Do you dare to look in the mirror?

No woman could ever resist Casanova, right?
Author:  ian_mezza [ Mon Feb 18, 2013 6:22 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Another text question
One of the rules of texting is that you shouldn't have a conversation over text.

What you should do is try to get the girl out on a date with you.
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