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She FLAKED on me and I got VERY UPSET! What should I do?
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Author:  mcooper112 [ Sun Feb 10, 2013 10:45 pm ]
Post subject:  She FLAKED on me and I got VERY UPSET! What should I do?
Hi everyone,

I had an excellent first date with a chic I met online. During our first date we hit it off really well and we made out a lot. There was a lot of chemistry there and she said she was into me. She said it was nice to meet a guy she finally likes.

Anyway, we agreed to go on a proper date on Saturday. This first date was on Monday.

I have this problem of appearing "needy" and "desperate" with girls and have been trying to get my shit together for a while. This forum has been helping...:-)

So I decided not to contact her until the day before the date (normally I would be texting her all the time.)

On Friday the day before the date I try calling her and she doesn't pick up. So I leave a voicemail and say "Hey, hope you are well. Call me when you get a chance so I can tell you the plan for tomorrow."

She doesn't call back or respond to the voicemail on Friday.

Saturday morning I get a text from her saying "Hey sorry I didn't get back to you yesterday. I hope you are well. I am sorry but I am not feeling great, can we meet up when I am better?"

Frankly, I was PISSED off. She didn't have the courtesy to get back to me on Friday and sends me this very open-ended and vague text message.

So i try calling her. She doesn't pick up.

Then I sentda text "Hey no worries. It is a shame because I had a great night planned. Anyway, I am going to be traveling for a while soon. Can you please call me back? Thanks."

She never calls back or responds to that text message. It is now a day since I sent it.

I am wondering what can I do to revive this?

It is really disappointing because I thought we hit off well and now she is acting rude.

Thanks for your help.
Author:  v00owen [ Sun Feb 10, 2013 11:07 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: She FLAKED on me and I got VERY UPSET! What should I do?
You're over-thinking this, there is no need to revive this because it's not dead in the first place.

Her excuse could of been legit, or It could of been bullshit, it doesn't matter but you seem to jump to a straight conclusion. You guys hit it off and she's into you, so I believe she wanted to be feeling great when she met with you again so she can come impress you better than if she felt like shit.

She might be nervous to call you, if she's comfortable texting then just use text, I suggest just keeping it simple and send her a text with something you've got planned for the upcoming week and that she should tag along. Keep it fun and don't make it seem like your pressuring her to come hang out with you.

Good luck
Author:  Wizzay [ Mon Feb 11, 2013 12:35 am ]
Post subject:  Re: She FLAKED on me and I got VERY UPSET! What should I do?
Well I have different viewpoint on this. You met her online, and made out etc everything with her on the first date, then you say you(or she?) wanted to go on a proper date, that means committing right? Maybe she doesn't want that after all, maybe she just wanted a fling so to say, or a friend with benefit.. You should find out soon from her which it is, and be mentally prepared. Also stop calling her, its obvious that she's nervous about calling.
Author:  ian_mezza [ Mon Feb 11, 2013 6:22 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: She FLAKED on me and I got VERY UPSET! What should I do?
Dude! you met her online. Relax!!! If she flakes, so what? there are millions of other girls to hit on.
Author:  krular [ Mon Feb 11, 2013 7:17 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: She FLAKED on me and I got VERY UPSET! What should I do?
Quote:
Saturday morning I get a text from her saying "Hey sorry I didn't get back to you yesterday. I hope you are well. I am sorry but I am not feeling great, can we meet up when I am better?"

Frankly, I was PISSED off. She didn't have the courtesy to get back to me on Friday and sends me this very open-ended and vague text message.
There was nothing open-ended or vague bout this message. She apologized with "Hey sorry I didn't get back to you yesterday." Gave clear(legit or not) reason as to why she did not response with "I am sorry but I am not feeling great" And still showed interest in you with "can we meet up when I am better?"

Lesson to Learn: Learn to read between the lines and stop jumping to conclusions.

You met her online, so you have to understand that until you get to know each other better, she may not be confortable with talking to you on the phone but she is comfortable about texting you because it is the same as talking to you online. And just because you two met and made out alot, doesnt mean you know each other, just means there was an attraction there.

You left a voicemail saying "Hey, hope you are well. Call me when you get a chance so I can tell you the plan for tomorrow." Calling was fine, if she didnt answer for any reason, doesnt mean jump to conclusion. Also you could have left a better message since you havent talked on the phone yet. Could have went like this: "Hey this is (name), calling to see if we are still on for this weekend? Call me or text me about Saturday, whichever is best for you.(leaving it open to whichever she is more comfortable with) Had a great time with you Monday.(acknowledging you and her together the previous monday night and putting the image of you two together into your head) Talk to you later.(Telling her you talk to her later(dominance) and not using words "hope or like or please", which are words that make you seem needy.)"
Author:  puaninja [ Mon Feb 11, 2013 7:47 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: She FLAKED on me and I got VERY UPSET! What should I do?
This is my opinion of girls online. Either they are down to party or they aren't. I mean, if they are actually interested in dating you and they felt chemistry, then they can easily continue talking to you and dating you. If they don't really care about dating or are just casting their line in the water and only reeling it in if it's a trophy fish, then there's really nothing you can do about it. As soon as you start detecting disinterest it's generally over with. There may be other guys you're competing with (highly likely) or perhaps she talked herself out of liking you. You'll never know for sure. If you beat yourself up over her flaking, or try to talk your way back into her favor then you will likely just be wasting your time and giving yourself unnecessary headaches.

What it kind of reminds me of is when you are trying to sell somebody something, and they give you some stupid rebuttal, but you have to be nice and kiss their ass because if you don't then they DEFINITELY won't buy anything from you. With girls like that, you just want to call them an inconsiderate bitch but you know that if you do then it's completely over. But it's usually over anyway if they are being that inconsiderate.
Author:  afcme123 [ Mon Feb 11, 2013 9:07 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: She FLAKED on me and I got VERY UPSET! What should I do?
The only trouble I seen was you saying "PLEASE" call me back.

It sounds desperate and makes it seem like you are willing to go through great lengths to see her.
It also might freak her out if she wasn't really ready for a relationship.

It's also like saying "OHHH you can't hang out... That's fine... I'll hang out with you whenever you are free" it's like you're rewarding her for flaking...

Imagine this... If 2 equally attractive girls ask you to hang out on the same day, which girl would you hang out with? The girl that is willing to change her plans, Or the one that is always busy, and hangs out with other guys, but has a chance to hang with you??

If you are smart you will go with the later choice, because you know that you can make girl a change her plans and hang out at anytime...

I would have left a voice mail saying something about how you are busy this week but you MIGHT beanie fI squeeze her in next week. (or something)
Author:  ItsAlwaysOn [ Tue Feb 12, 2013 2:20 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: She FLAKED on me and I got VERY UPSET! What should I do?
Quote:
I have this problem of appearing "needy" and "desperate" with girls
you don't say
Quote:
I try calling her and she doesn't pick up. So I leave a voicemail and say "Hey, hope you are well. Call me when you get a chance so I can tell you the plan for tomorrow."

She doesn't call back or respond to the voicemail on Friday.

Saturday morning I get a text from her saying "Hey sorry I didn't get back to you yesterday. I hope you are well. I am sorry but I am not feeling great, can we meet up when I am better?"

Frankly, I was PISSED off. She didn't have the courtesy to get back to me on Friday and sends me this very open-ended and vague text message.

So i try calling her. She doesn't pick up.

Then I sentda text "Hey no worries. It is a shame because I had a great night planned. Anyway, I am going to be traveling for a while soon. Can you please call me back? Thanks."
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