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| Avoiding the Friendshipzone? Help!! https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=156456 |
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| Author: | terry per herisch [ Sat Feb 09, 2013 7:27 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Avoiding the Friendshipzone? Help!! |
Hi! This is my first post, and I am in a sort of dilemma. There is this girl, that I meet in a club a couple of weeks ago.. Some of my friends actually know her, but I have never interacted with her before that evening. We had a chat, I was basically doing everything wrong. I didn't really neg, no push and pull. Got a little bit touchy when she was showing me her tattoos. but that's all. I thought," Well, you messed this one up again, alright." But I added her on fb anyway. Couple of days later she hit me up on fb chat out of the blue, we talked a little, and then she reveals that she got two tickets for a weekend holiday that she won, and she asked me if I would like to go with her. I think, "Wtf that's awesome it seems like she was into me after all". After that we write back and forth. (Not really good stuff, from my side) but she seems into it anyhow. Then at some point I had the Idea to ask her out, to learn together at a coffee shop. That was last Wednesday. And immediately I realized the big mistake I have done there. Going out to sit side by side, and stare at math equations is what friends do, and not potential mating partners. After that we made another "learning" date for today. I felt like complete idiot, but thought I could maybe turn this.. Today I tried my hardest, to actually not learn, and distract her from doing so. We talked a lot, I told her about ex gf's, used sexual innuendo, was touchy, "I got a new haircut, I love it short on the sides, have a feel" (she did), told her I liked her ring, and played with her hand.. Then we left, I brought her home, which is out of my way, and she says "Isn't this out of your way", I say "Doesn't matter" and I look straight at her, then she turns away and says "See you next time". And there she went. I feel like a complete idiot. I hope the window for something to happen didn't shut entirely. But I don't know. If anyone has any ideas, what I could do to turn this, I would truly appreciate it! Massively! Greets |
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| Author: | iLoveTurtles [ Sun Feb 10, 2013 12:48 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Avoiding the Friendshipzone? Help!! |
Saying "doesn't matter" after doing her a favor, devalues yourself. Why would you do that, if you don't have the balls to go in for a kiss you might as well said something like "it's what knights in shining armour do, now where my kiss?" and stick out your cheek. |
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| Author: | VietnameseProdigy [ Sun Feb 10, 2013 6:38 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Avoiding the Friendshipzone? Help!! |
Yeah you fucked up tons of times... but none of it really impacts the state of your relationship. She's already attracted to you naturally, and it's your duty to start acting with masculinity. Now stop being a little bitch. |
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| Author: | detox75 [ Sun Feb 10, 2013 7:21 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Avoiding the Friendshipzone? Help!! |
You've probably lost her interest and attraction, but ask her out again anyway, and if she agrees try to run better game and escalate. Also you are making a rookie mistake of self-diagnosis, im sure you did some really bad things and some good things on you date. However dont try to sort them out yourself, based on your internal mental ramblings and conjectures of your overactive brain - a problem smart people have. This is a habit that works with non-deterministic stochastic methods and embedded system design, it does NOT work with woman, knock it off. Your current acumen for understanding female attraction is very low at this point. Thats the short term answer. In the long term you need to crowd out your unattractive behavior with attractive behavior. To do this you need way more practice with woman and more knowledge of game. Guess what, you are going to fuck up a lot but with hard work and persistence you will get much much better. Whatever outcome you have the main thing is to keep learning and trying, dont get discouraged, we all fuck up, some more then others. |
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| Author: | terry per herisch [ Sun Feb 10, 2013 8:59 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Avoiding the Friendshipzone? Help!! |
Thx for the responds! After cooling down, reading your posts, and talking to a friend who is doing PUA successfully for a couple of years (he recommended this forum), I managed to see a lot of my mistakes. The biggest; not to recognize her shittests and invitations to take it to a more flirty level. For example; "I usually have two kinds of boyfriends, either they are nice and ugly, ore they are pretty and douche bags". My respond "Well you know whats best for you". Should have been something like "For me neither qualify, if a girl s just pretty, thats a one night stand, if shes just nice that's a friend. If she has both she has a chance to be my girlfriend." Also with what has been said earlier by "iLoveTurtles" would have been a prefect respond. The problem is I can always think of the right things to say, after I had the chance to do so. But that is something a lot of guys struggle with I guess, and comes down to lack of practice and experience. My plan is, to shun her for two days, and hopefully get her to meet me again then, in a different setting and situation. My long term plan, is to really start my PUA education, and get more active. And lets not forget. I am still going away with her for a weekend on the 24th. I will try to turn this by then. |
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| Author: | User13247 [ Sun Feb 10, 2013 2:08 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Avoiding the Friendshipzone? Help!! |
Quote: For example; "I usually have two kinds of boyfriends, either they are nice and ugly, ore they are pretty and douche bags". My respond "Well you know whats best for you". ... The problem is I can always think of the right things to say, after I had the chance to do so.
I actually think that's a great response as well. A bad response would have been to try and convince her that you fit either of those stereotypes, or put too much effort in dodging this obvious false dilemma. In general, you'll find that what you say doesn't really matter that much, it's your attitude towards her that matters most. It's like a game of chase: chase her too much, she runs and hides; chase her too little, and she gets away. Push and pull, my friend, push and pull.
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