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| What could I have said to this? Being called a player https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=156234 |
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| Author: | Tr@veler [ Tue Feb 05, 2013 3:52 pm ] |
| Post subject: | What could I have said to this? Being called a player |
So I made out with a girl from my course a week ago, and she was interested in meeting up again. We wrote over FB a lot in the week, but never met up. Yesterday we meet at our student bar and I'm pretty drunk. She comes up to met, we say hi. Then she says "I need to tell you something." I take her to the side and ask her what. She says "I can't go out with you." I go "Why?" "I'm not over my ex yet...(aaannnd now the real reason) and I heard you're a player." Can't remember what I said, something like, why? or I dunno. "People told me at the house party on Friday you were hitting on everyone." ^^I did hit on a few girls, and a friend of mine when drunk keeps yelling "Travelers hitting on everyone!" and so word mustve gotten round to her that I was talking to some girls. Needless to say I was pretty drunk and didn't really know what to say. So I stupidly said "I was hitting on one girl." I shouldn't have even defended myself I know, but what can you do. Then she goes "You're expecting something of me..." "I'm not." "Yeah you are." "Look I'll be honest. I think you're cute and have a nice personality blahblahblah" just stating my interest blatantly. "blah blah lets just be bff's" hug. So my question is how should I have responded to being called a player? I've never had that yet. It's true I was hitting a one or two chicks. But that in itself doesn't make me a player. I was too drunk to rationalize my response, so I reacted to her, trying to qualify myself to her. Anyway. Any suggestions are very welcome. |
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| Author: | puaninja [ Tue Feb 05, 2013 4:12 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: What could I have said to this? Being called a player |
Here's a tip. Whenever a girl provides MULTIPLE reasons why she doesn't want to go out with you, then it's over. Even if most or all of the reasons are made up, it still means she's not interested and she's just trying to convince you that it will never work out so you'll leave her alone. I mean, do you really think you could sufficiently justify why you aren't a player and she'll all of sudden see the error of her ways and start fucking you? |
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| Author: | Tr@veler [ Tue Feb 05, 2013 4:45 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: What could I have said to this? Being called a player |
Of course not. But just for future reference, when a chick calls you a player, what's there to say? In this case, there was interest throughout the whole week. She wanted to meet up with me, but logistically things didn't work out. Even that very night she asked me if I was going (she initiated the messaging) and I said yes and her reply was "Perfect. I'll see you there  " So this was very unexpected. I guess I was just expecting it to go all smoothly and this caught me off guard.
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| Author: | letstrythisagain [ Tue Feb 05, 2013 4:51 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: What could I have said to this? Being called a player |
good question. I don't know the answer but maybe just say "Thanks" and smile. |
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| Author: | User13247 [ Tue Feb 05, 2013 5:13 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: What could I have said to this? Being called a player |
Quote: I heard you're a player.
Notice the use of the word 'heard': she doesn't see you as a player, she heard bad things about you. Girls gossip, you know (there's a TV show named after it). So instead of implicitly agreeing that what she heard is an accurate characterization, challenge her for trusting in gossip instead of trusting in her own judgment. Alternatively, you can make a joke out of it with some wordplay 'I do enjoy your games', 'I've been called a player, but my bitches call me daddy', 'I did hit this one really annoying girl, but she was asking for it', etc.Quote: I don't know the answer but maybe just say "Thanks" and smile.
I don't think she meant it as a compliment.
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| Author: | letstrythisagain [ Tue Feb 05, 2013 5:22 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: What could I have said to this? Being called a player |
Quote: I don't know the answer but maybe just say "Thanks" and smile.
I don't think she meant it as a compliment.[/quote]I know this someone try's to question your character flaws as they perceive them, you let them know you don't view it as a flaw. If she says you're a player, let her know that you are single and having fun and you won't apologize for hitting on attractive and happy women. Maybe "Thanks" doesn't convey this, but own what you are, single and sexual and happy. |
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| Author: | JRoc32 [ Tue Feb 05, 2013 5:39 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: What could I have said to this? Being called a player |
My reply: "Isn't every guy a player in the eyes of girls." The way i deal with with being called a player. Is the fact that I talk to everyone I see, and pretend to know everybody. Girls could call me a player all they want. I'm just over friendly what the hell is the problem. |
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| Author: | JRoc32 [ Tue Feb 05, 2013 5:46 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: What could I have said to this? Being called a player |
Quote: Quote: I don't know the answer but maybe just say "Thanks" and smile.
I don't think she meant it as a compliment.someone try's to question your character flaws as they perceive them, you let them know you don't view it as a flaw. If she says you're a player, let her know that you are single and having fun and you won't apologize for hitting on attractive and happy women. Maybe "Thanks" doesn't convey this, but own what you are, single and sexual and happy.[/quote] This is good aswell. |
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| Author: | Knowing100 [ Tue Feb 05, 2013 11:09 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: What could I have said to this? Being called a player |
Think clearly why the girl went out. The girl is interested in you. You should respect the opinion of the girl. Be polite in this situation. Then have a conversation with the girl and leave with the girl. I would not listen to the problems of the girl. |
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| Author: | wingintyme [ Wed Feb 06, 2013 2:18 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: What could I have said to this? Being called a player |
Seems like a lot of stuff going on here. The first is, when a girl says "I want to tell you something" be careful how you react and your body language/ eye movement etc. Be careful how you isolate that situation. Also, your line " I was hitting on one girl " seems ok for that situation. Don't over think that. Be careful about when you get drunk, hitting on every decent girl you see just to show off. If they are girls you want to fuck, do it. But hitting on all them just to show off can be detrimental at times. If there are a lot of girls in an area you like, strategically figure out who you want to hit on before you do it without just blind launching in to every set you see. When she says "you're expecting something from me"; this is where your body language and facial reaction will go a long way. What I would probably have done would be look at her like I don't understand her statement and say "What do you mean?" I would curl up my face sort of like "are you crazy" look. I don't think the crutch of her issue with you is the fact she thinks you are a player. I think she's looking for an excuse to forget you or at least test your game when she may really like you, even though she may not even know it. If you are convinced you did every thing right, and the reason this went bad is that she thinks you are a player I will answer your question in PM. |
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