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| why does it feel that approaching is frowned upon? https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=156209 |
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| Author: | bartm [ Tue Feb 05, 2013 3:01 am ] |
| Post subject: | why does it feel that approaching is frowned upon? |
Hi I dont know if this is just my perception, but it seems that everywhere i go, you have these group of people who know each other, and they dont like a stranger talking to them. like imagine you are in a room, you could have a group of 4 people talking, and another group of 5 people, and another group of maybe 3 people, whatever. if someone goes over to have a conversation, they act like you are ruining their fun or something. this is not totally about pick up. even a man approaching men for the sake of making new friends. it seems that people think you are "weird" if you approach strangers to talk to them. I dont know, maybe in my city people are just assholes. or is this just my misperception? |
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| Author: | puaninja [ Tue Feb 05, 2013 1:34 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: why does it feel that approaching is frowned upon? |
You need to have a balanced understanding and perspective of social dynamics before attempting to interpret these types of scenarios. People are naturally cliquey, meaning that they form into small groups for socializing. They are also naturally defensive, since people need to be leery of outsiders who may be dangerous or untrustworthy. This alone explains why people pair off into groups and exclude others from their social circle. That being said, it's not always easy to inject yourself into a new social group. That's why there is an entire artform behind approaching, socializing, and opening sets. It's not necessarily that they think you are weird for approaching, it's that they are wondering if you are actually a weirdo, and they give off that vibe of uncertainty and apprehension. Then you detect that vibe and in turn identify that as being a reflection of what happens when you approach other people's groups, but your not realizing that this is an expected and perfectly normal reaction. |
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