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I think I know what my problem is
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=155861		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  bartm [ Wed Jan 30, 2013 12:50 am ]
Post subject:  I think I know what my problem is
Hi

first of all, thank you for being so patient with an afc like me. I love the people here because you guys really know what you are talking about.

Recently, my approach anxiety has become more severe. I see a hot girl, I want to talk to her. but then i dont. i dont know why. but some reasons are: I dont want to fail. I dont want to appear weird. I dont want to lose face. I think it would be better if i remain silent and they assume i am this confident guy vs. I open my mouth and they find out i have no game.

I realize that the first few times I will not be perfect. I asked myself "would you be ok if the first few times you are not perfect?" my answer was "no" I would not be ok with that.

today I was at the coffeeshop and this gorgeous girl was there. she was great, everything i am looking for, she was even my height (lets face it, at 5'5", my choices are not that broad)
she even made eye contact with me. her eyes were saying "come talk to me. come talk to me." but i didnt say anything. I didnt want to appear creepy. I didnt want her to find out i have no game. I didnt want to fail. so I just left. and afterwards, I beat myself up for being a faggot.
that's my story. so i dont know. maybe i should just give up.
Author:  R.C [ Wed Jan 30, 2013 1:52 am ]
Post subject:  Re: I think I know what my problem is
Quote:
I dont want to fail. I dont want to appear weird. I dont want to lose face.
You will fail , you will appear weird and you will lose face.Sucking at something is the first step of becoming good at it.


I get the fact that you dont wanna approach for those reasons but with every approach you make you get better and better.

Plus,every approach you don't even attempt is already a fail , so what do you got to lose if you try ?


There's a chance you're never gonna see that girl again and you didn't even talk to her.Ask yourself if you wanna go down that road again and waste your next chance by not even giving it a shot.
Author:  bartm [ Wed Jan 30, 2013 2:19 am ]
Post subject:  Re: I think I know what my problem is
Quote:
Quote:

Plus,every approach you don't even attempt is already a fail , so what do you got to lose if you try ?
believe me, I have tried to convince myself to approach by saying all these things to myself: "who cares what they think", "I have nothing to lose and everything to gain", "dont be so shy, they are also humans, and they experience anxiety too"

but this doesn't work. thinking about this in a logical way does not work. saying these things to myself is exactly like a cancer patient saying "I should not have cancer. I should not have cancer." the cancer doesnt go away if you keep telling yourself that.
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