PUA Forum :: Cheated on my girlfriend..... HELP!

Hi Guys

Okay so basically I was with my girlfriend for about 9 months and then in November she ended it with me - 6 weeks later she decided that she still loved me and really wanted me back. I gave her another chance and we have been back together for 5 weeks now. The problem is that while I do love her I really can't trust her... I don't know why exactly but something in me just doesn't make me feel secure. I've had lots of long term girlfriends and I have NEVER had this trust problem. She is extremely flirty and always texting guys etc and I've had enough of it. She will always try and make me jealous as well which is completely and utterly pointless as I give her zero reason to doubt my loyalty.

Anyway on Saturday night I went out with some friends and I bumped into this girl that I asked out when me and my girlfriend were taking a break - she knows my girlfriend and doesn't think she's right for me at all and was gutted when she found out that Id got back together with her before taking this new girl out. Anyway one thing led to another and we ended up sleeping together..... It was absolutely fantastic!! The best sex of my life and we seemed to just click and have a good connection. I've always liked this girl. Anyway yesterday I started to think things through and decided that it was probably best to break up with my girlfriend. Im a very loyal person usually and I can only think that if I really loved her then I wouldn't have cheated. The problem is now that I am worrying and hoping I haven't made the wrong decision, my feelings for her are still very strong but I don't like the person I am when Im with her. Any advice to stop my worrying and wondering if I've made the right decision?

I also want to take this new girl out and she really wants to but wants the dust to settle from my breakup before we do - she said give it a couple of weeks which is so annoying. Anyone know why she's wanting to do that and the best way to keep the spark there until we do meet? She doesn't regret the other night in the slightest.... she told me she just regrets the fact I had a girlfriend. Her friend told me that it was completely out of character for her to do something like that and she would NEVER EVER normally do that. Good sign for me I guess.

Any help you guys can offer on both points would be greatly appreciated. This forum has helped me out so much in the past.

Many thanks in advance and my sincere apologies about the essay.

Author:	berg101 [ Mon Jan 28, 2013 12:01 pm ]
Post subject:	Cheated on my girlfriend..... HELP!
Hi Guys Okay so basically I was with my girlfriend for about 9 months and then in November she ended it with me - 6 weeks later she decided that she still loved me and really wanted me back. I gave her another chance and we have been back together for 5 weeks now. The problem is that while I do love her I really can't trust her... I don't know why exactly but something in me just doesn't make me feel secure. I've had lots of long term girlfriends and I have NEVER had this trust problem. She is extremely flirty and always texting guys etc and I've had enough of it. She will always try and make me jealous as well which is completely and utterly pointless as I give her zero reason to doubt my loyalty. Anyway on Saturday night I went out with some friends and I bumped into this girl that I asked out when me and my girlfriend were taking a break - she knows my girlfriend and doesn't think she's right for me at all and was gutted when she found out that Id got back together with her before taking this new girl out. Anyway one thing led to another and we ended up sleeping together..... It was absolutely fantastic!! The best sex of my life and we seemed to just click and have a good connection. I've always liked this girl. Anyway yesterday I started to think things through and decided that it was probably best to break up with my girlfriend. Im a very loyal person usually and I can only think that if I really loved her then I wouldn't have cheated. The problem is now that I am worrying and hoping I haven't made the wrong decision, my feelings for her are still very strong but I don't like the person I am when Im with her. Any advice to stop my worrying and wondering if I've made the right decision? I also want to take this new girl out and she really wants to but wants the dust to settle from my breakup before we do - she said give it a couple of weeks which is so annoying. Anyone know why she's wanting to do that and the best way to keep the spark there until we do meet? She doesn't regret the other night in the slightest.... she told me she just regrets the fact I had a girlfriend. Her friend told me that it was completely out of character for her to do something like that and she would NEVER EVER normally do that. Good sign for me I guess. Any help you guys can offer on both points would be greatly appreciated. This forum has helped me out so much in the past. Many thanks in advance and my sincere apologies about the essay.

Author:	evolizzygrant [ Mon Jan 28, 2013 1:45 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Cheated on my girlfriend..... HELP!
About your girlfriend: "I give her zero reason to doubt my loyalty." Then... About this other girl: "Anyway one thing led to another and we ended up sleeping together" To be honest with you, you've made a big mistake, because if this new girl is as cool as you think, well even if you get into a relationship with her, you've planted a seed of doubt in the back of her mind, that if she doesn't realise now, it will eventually grow into the thought... 'wait a minute... this guy I'm with right now.. I was the girl he cheated on his girlfriend with..... he cheated on his girlfriend..... he's a cheater.... what.... what about me.... will he cheat on me?.... has he cheated on me?" Trust me, I was that girl at one point, I started to go out with guy and got paranoid and realized it's possible that he's cheating on me too. Eventually I dumped him because I felt I couldn't trust him. So by doing what you did, you've just recreated the same situation with different person lol

Author:	Themagicalone [ Mon Jan 28, 2013 2:48 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Cheated on my girlfriend..... HELP!
Well its obvious you don't trust your current gf so you really shouldn't be with her anyway and I don't suggest jumping into another relationship right after you get out of one especially with the girl you just cheated with

Author:	Paskal [ Mon Jan 28, 2013 2:50 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Cheated on my girlfriend..... HELP!
In my oppinion you cannot have a relation with somebody you don`t trust. So you decide what is best for you.

Author:	berg101 [ Mon Jan 28, 2013 3:40 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Cheated on my girlfriend..... HELP!
Hi everyone. Thanks for your posts. I agree about not being able to have a relationship with a girl I cannot trust and no matter what I do I just can't get over the fact that I cannot trust her. I know it's slightly hypercritical of me to say that I cannot trust her and then I go and cheat on her but the thing is I know myself and I know that if I was with someone I truly cared about I wouldn't do that. Im not after a relationship with this new girl - I just want to get to know her better and see what happens but the problem is she is wanting to wait a week or two for the dust to settle on my breakup before we meet up - is that a good thing or a bad thing? We have been texting quite a lot since which is a good sign I guess and she really doesn't regret what happened with us.

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Author:	ViKtoricus [ Mon Jan 28, 2013 3:57 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Cheated on my girlfriend..... HELP!
Quote: Hi Guys Okay so basically I was with my girlfriend for about 9 months and then in November she ended it with me - 6 weeks later she decided that she still loved me and really wanted me back. I gave her another chance and we have been back together for 5 weeks now. The problem is that while I do love her I really can't trust her... I don't know why exactly but something in me just doesn't make me feel secure. I've had lots of long term girlfriends and I have NEVER had this trust problem. She is extremely flirty and always texting guys etc and I've had enough of it. She will always try and make me jealous as well which is completely and utterly pointless as I give her zero reason to doubt my loyalty. Anyway on Saturday night I went out with some friends and I bumped into this girl that I asked out when me and my girlfriend were taking a break - she knows my girlfriend and doesn't think she's right for me at all and was gutted when she found out that Id got back together with her before taking this new girl out. Anyway one thing led to another and we ended up sleeping together..... It was absolutely fantastic!! The best sex of my life and we seemed to just click and have a good connection. I've always liked this girl. Anyway yesterday I started to think things through and decided that it was probably best to break up with my girlfriend. Im a very loyal person usually and I can only think that if I really loved her then I wouldn't have cheated. The problem is now that I am worrying and hoping I haven't made the wrong decision, my feelings for her are still very strong but I don't like the person I am when Im with her. Any advice to stop my worrying and wondering if I've made the right decision? I also want to take this new girl out and she really wants to but wants the dust to settle from my breakup before we do - she said give it a couple of weeks which is so annoying. Anyone know why she's wanting to do that and the best way to keep the spark there until we do meet? She doesn't regret the other night in the slightest.... she told me she just regrets the fact I had a girlfriend. Her friend told me that it was completely out of character for her to do something like that and she would NEVER EVER normally do that. Good sign for me I guess. Any help you guys can offer on both points would be greatly appreciated. This forum has helped me out so much in the past. Many thanks in advance and my sincere apologies about the essay. I honestly, seriously, sincerely don't know what advice you're asking for... Isn't it your dream to bang several chicks at a time?

Author:	R.C [ Mon Jan 28, 2013 5:03 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Cheated on my girlfriend..... HELP!
Quote: About your girlfriend: "I give her zero reason to doubt my loyalty." Then... About this other girl: "Anyway one thing led to another and we ended up sleeping together" To be honest with you, you've made a big mistake, because if this new girl is as cool as you think, well even if you get into a relationship with her, you've planted a seed of doubt in the back of her mind, that if she doesn't realise now, it will eventually grow into the thought... 'wait a minute... this guy I'm with right now.. I was the girl he cheated on his girlfriend with..... he cheated on his girlfriend..... he's a cheater.... what.... what about me.... will he cheat on me?.... has he cheated on me?" Trust me, I was that girl at one point, I started to go out with guy and got paranoid and realized it's possible that he's cheating on me too. Eventually I dumped him because I felt I couldn't trust him. So by doing what you did, you've just recreated the same situation with different person lol I had a 3 year relationship with a girl I met at a party.She was with her boyfriend. Cheated on him with me right there. I never had a single moment of doubt about her loyalty to me and just took it as a compliment for myself. Getting paranoid is both you fault for thinking like you did and maybe his for not giving you reasons to trust. In any case , doesn't mean it will be the same for them. Stop generalizing , it's the worst possible way to think things through. Want my advice , OP ? If you want a healthy and successful relationship the only way you're ever going to have it is if both you and the person you're with actually put some effort into it. There's nothing wrong in a little flirting on occasion , but you have to draw certain lines and not cross them. You don't seem to have that kind of relationship here and finding someone like that is rare.You'll know it when you get there.

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