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| Flakey girl, advice please https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=155688 |
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| Author: | rflook [ Sun Jan 27, 2013 7:01 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Flakey girl, advice please |
So been seeing a girl for a few months now, and we have f'd a few times but she is far too flakey for my liking. She has blown me out three times for various (possibly true but probably not) reasons, illness twice and moving house once. Ok so the moving house thing is true but tbh I'm not chasing her, she's hot but not worth any more effort if she is going to be lame... Which basically makes me believe she just isn't that in to me, fair enough. We were supposed to meet today but failed due to her moving house and she texted me when I asked where we we meeting up saying she couldn't make it as she still had moving stuff to do. I haven't responded. What I want out of this is just simply for her to not think that I am going to be pushed around but wouldn't be adverse to meeting up again, but I am not going to initiate again, I'm done with that and my time is too valuable. Not responding to me seems to hit my first target, but then again maybe it comes across as 'I don't give a fuck about you'. Should I respond with something along the lines of, no worries let me know when you are free next? Any advice gratefully received. |
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| Author: | Fly_Swatter [ Sun Jan 27, 2013 8:09 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Flakey girl, advice please |
Don't respond to her text because it's bullshit. It's downright disrespectful, and as a man, you ought to let her know you won't stand for it. Ideally, wait for her to text you back another time. |
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| Author: | rflook [ Sun Jan 27, 2013 8:40 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Flakey girl, advice please |
Agreed, actually my third option was to text her saying that "it would have been nice if you could have let me know before hand as opposed to wasting my time" but then again you are not supposed to let women know that they have annoyed you right? Isn't the done thing to come across as not giving a crap? |
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| Author: | Fly_Swatter [ Sun Jan 27, 2013 8:44 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Flakey girl, advice please |
Wow, no, don't text her that. That's the worst thing you could do. And you already know why. First, it makes her uncomfortable. Second, you come off as needy. Avoid. |
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| Author: | rflook [ Mon Jan 28, 2013 11:14 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Flakey girl, advice please |
Quote: Wow, no, don't text her that. That's the worst thing you could do. And you already know why. First, it makes her uncomfortable. Second, you come off as needy. Avoid.
I appreciate the not coming across as needy part but I haven't quite figured out why if when someone does something to piss you off, especially if it disrespectful, that you shouldn't let them know. I mean so what if it makes them feel uncomfortable, surely when someone is a dick someone should call them out on it?
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| Author: | Fly_Swatter [ Tue Jan 29, 2013 3:08 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Flakey girl, advice please |
Unless it's your girlfriend, or a good friend beyond an acquaintance, then yes you can let them know they pissed you off. But this is a girl you're trying to get with, so different rules apply. Think of it as leverage in negotiation. "Well this guy is pissed off that I did this. I can either try to fix things, or just not give a shit. I probably just won't give a shit because I hardly know him and don't owe him anything." She's not emotionally invested in you, in other words. It's like local farmer who goes to Wal-Mart and says "you will give me this shelf space for this price." Wal-Mart would laugh and kindly escort him out. And also, you want to avoid making her feel uncomfortable for obvious reasons. Just like you want to avoid awkward moments of silence when around girls. You should always try to associate romance, fun, laughter, etc. with your frame... Not discomfort, awkwardness, etc. |
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| Author: | Themagicalone [ Tue Jan 29, 2013 3:13 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Flakey girl, advice please |
Quote: So been seeing a girl for a few months now, and we have f'd a few times but she is far too flakey for my liking. She has blown me out three times for various (possibly true but probably not) reasons, illness twice and moving house once. Ok so the moving house thing is true but tbh I'm not chasing her, she's hot but not worth any more effort if she is going to be lame... Which basically makes me believe she just isn't that in to me, fair enough.
I've dealt with this many times honestly I was gaming so many girls (in a relatinoship now) so when one flaked I refused to iniate contact first, the ratio of girls I lost was about 50/50 but the girls that did hit me up were very needy to meet up to which I would then be busy and couldn't make it on their terms I'd then contact the girl a week or 2 later and suggest a time to meet up on my terms, it never failed
We were supposed to meet today but failed due to her moving house and she texted me when I asked where we we meeting up saying she couldn't make it as she still had moving stuff to do. I haven't responded. What I want out of this is just simply for her to not think that I am going to be pushed around but wouldn't be adverse to meeting up again, but I am not going to initiate again, I'm done with that and my time is too valuable. Not responding to me seems to hit my first target, but then again maybe it comes across as 'I don't give a fuck about you'. Should I respond with something along the lines of, no worries let me know when you are free next? Any advice gratefully received. |
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