PUA Forum :: Embarrassing question about ERECTIONS!

Basically, I sometimes have trouble getting an erection during foreplay with a girl which leads to me making an excuse about why we shouldn't have sex :s

I'm quite in experienced and my question is, what stage of foreplay do you usually get an erection? I've been told by friends that they get one just from kissing a girl but that doesn't happen with me :s

I guess I do get performance anxiety as I don't have much experience, only started to get noticed by girls since starting uni and by then most girls have had one or more sexual partners before.

I think the problem is that I'm focussed too much on what's happening, keep thinking about what to do next or how the kissing is going instead of just relaxing and enjoying it..
Funny thing is I was with a girl a night ago and I couldn't get it up whilst I was kissing her and playing with her body but when we were chatting and cuddling up after it kept going up :s

Quote:

Yea,I basically get an erection when the foreplay begins.

Author:	freddytb [ Fri Jan 11, 2013 9:40 pm ]
Post subject:	Embarrassing question about ERECTIONS!
Basically, I sometimes have trouble getting an erection during foreplay with a girl which leads to me making an excuse about why we shouldn't have sex :s I'm quite in experienced and my question is, what stage of foreplay do you usually get an erection? I've been told by friends that they get one just from kissing a girl but that doesn't happen with me :s

Author:	R.C [ Fri Jan 11, 2013 9:45 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Embarrassing question about ERECTIONS!
Quote: Basically, I sometimes have trouble getting an erection during foreplay with a girl which leads to me making an excuse about why we shouldn't have sex :s I'm quite in experienced and my question is, what stage of foreplay do you usually get an erection? I've been told by friends that they get one just from kissing a girl but that doesn't happen with me :s Yea,I basically get an erection when the foreplay begins.

Author:	Mr. Assertive [ Fri Jan 11, 2013 11:03 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Embarrassing question about ERECTIONS!
Are you getting performance anxiety or something? Are you focused on what is happening in the moment or is your mind elsewhere? Well generally the foreplay stage takes awhile ( at least for me) and the more I do that the more the girl is turned on. To get an erection you have to be completely calm and relaxed. Kissing should be enough. I remember that I go limp during actual sex and all I really do is breathe and I request the girl to start kissing me and start fondling my privates. I touch her body while she is doing her thing and that really should be all that is needed. It does the trick for me.

Author:	freddytb [ Sat Jan 12, 2013 2:03 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Embarrassing question about ERECTIONS!
I guess I do get performance anxiety as I don't have much experience, only started to get noticed by girls since starting uni and by then most girls have had one or more sexual partners before. I think the problem is that I'm focussed too much on what's happening, keep thinking about what to do next or how the kissing is going instead of just relaxing and enjoying it.. Funny thing is I was with a girl a night ago and I couldn't get it up whilst I was kissing her and playing with her body but when we were chatting and cuddling up after it kept going up :s

Author:	Mr. Assertive [ Sat Jan 12, 2013 2:13 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Embarrassing question about ERECTIONS!
Quote: I guess I do get performance anxiety as I don't have much experience, only started to get noticed by girls since starting uni and by then most girls have had one or more sexual partners before. I think the problem is that I'm focussed too much on what's happening, keep thinking about what to do next or how the kissing is going instead of just relaxing and enjoying it.. Funny thing is I was with a girl a night ago and I couldn't get it up whilst I was kissing her and playing with her body but when we were chatting and cuddling up after it kept going up :s I think you just need to not focus on what you are doing if that makes sense. Just follow her. The girl is also participating in sex. She will pace you and you should focus on having fun instead of being the best lover. I know the best sex is when both people are having fun. It shouldn't be a chore.

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Author:	skills360 [ Sat Jan 12, 2013 2:52 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Embarrassing question about ERECTIONS!
get the book sex god by rose.

Author:	wingintyme [ Sat Jan 12, 2013 3:59 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Embarrassing question about ERECTIONS!
It sounds like you are either nervous and you don't realize it, or it's a girl you really don't want to fuck or both. If you don't find them very attractive you need to step up the caliber of women you are putting in your bed. I've brought home girls from bars who looked good in jeans but when they came out of the jeans I didn't like what I saw. I've had your issue after drinking, went to bed with clothes on and the next morning fucked them. When you get a girl in there you like, you won't have any problems getting that dick lit up unless you are gay.

Author:	Pickwick [ Sat Jan 12, 2013 8:25 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Embarrassing question about ERECTIONS!
I assume you get turned on but just can't get an erection. Have you tried visualizing pleasing stimuli before/during your time with a girl? Things that you know would really turn you on. Does thee same happen while you're watching porn?

Author:	KimPa [ Sat Jan 12, 2013 8:27 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Embarrassing question about ERECTIONS!
Hmm, how often you watch porn??

Author:	anonymous man [ Sat Jan 12, 2013 1:25 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Embarrassing question about ERECTIONS!
Quote: Quote: Basically, I sometimes have trouble getting an erection during foreplay with a girl which leads to me making an excuse about why we shouldn't have sex :s I'm quite in experienced and my question is, what stage of foreplay do you usually get an erection? I've been told by friends that they get one just from kissing a girl but that doesn't happen with me :s Yea,I basically get an erection when the foreplay begins. Same for me... If you don't you maybe have erectile problems! Depends on your age as well... You want to get an erection in the future? Follow these points: - Eat well (blood circulation & pressure helps A LOT!) - Run & jog every day (reduced the fat % in your blood, gets stronger erections) - Smoke some weed 1-2 times a week. If you can't smoke, try to eat it with muffins or in pizza. (it reduces your stress while sexual intercourse. THIS is usually the problem with erections) If those points up there doesn't help after 2 weeks doing this, then your only option is: - Pray god. - Install a fake penis. < LOL XD

Author:	shanedp89 [ Sat Jan 12, 2013 8:18 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Embarrassing question about ERECTIONS!
This is purely because you're not comfortable around her in that way yet, I used to get that quite a lot until I learned to not care what the girl thought about me and now I've not got this issue anymore.. Best thing for you to do is try to not think about it too much, don't beat yourself up over it.. it's natural to some of us, it's like approach anxiety, the more you do it the less anxious you become and then the motion in the ocean just takes over and then before you know it you'll be going all kinds of balls deep! -Shane

Author:	DboTheHero [ Sat Jan 12, 2013 10:59 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Embarrassing question about ERECTIONS!
Stop masturbating. Stop thinking. You NEED to be completely relaxed to get an erection. And the annoying thing is, the more you focus on being relaxed the more stressed you'll get; it's a vicious cycle. I myself had the same problem at one point, and you basically just need to get out of your head. It's difficult to explain how to do it, but once you get through your mental barrier once it will click and you'll be fine. Just be in the moment and, most of all, ENJOY yourself! Dbo

Author:	Micheal Bauer [ Sun Jan 13, 2013 1:27 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Embarrassing question about ERECTIONS!
I actual also went to the doctor a few year s ago, with the same issue. I just could not get aroused enough. Doc said you're fine idiot, just bang hotter chicks. He was right no problems with plumming, just had to step up the game. But also get girls that can suck better or are simply horny in bed. This helps a lot. PS: Stop Masturbating. If you fill your brain with the most nastiest images online and hardcore porn, you will have to find women that match that fantasy or your dck will say: GO fck yourself, i'm busy.

Author:	GKS [ Sun Jan 13, 2013 3:09 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Embarrassing question about ERECTIONS!
You're fine. It happens to every guy. Especially if you watch too much porn, you'd need higher quality or more stimulant to get an erection. In this case, hotter women. But let's face it, we can't always reel in a 9 or 10 every time we want. Most of the problem with erection is related to mental state.

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Author:	freddytb [ Sun Jan 13, 2013 4:06 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Embarrassing question about ERECTIONS!
Thanks for all the advice guys, big help! Just to answer some of the questions: I can get an erection when watching porn or fantasising randomly when I'm by myself, which suggests that it's not a functional issue. Last time I was getting with a chick I got bored of making out/playing about with her because I was too focussed on whether or not it was good for her. I've stopped watching any for about 3 weeks now because I think that's the reason I get less excited with an actual girl (I used to watch it 3-4 times a week), I don't think fitness is an issue as I'm very slim at the minute and go to the gym a few times a week. I will take the advice on board, looks like it all makes sense, thanks again!