Just tell her friend to call you out when you're being a player. Tell her if she catches you being a player to her friend, she can come and say it whenever she wants. This way, she'll either never say anything thus proving you right; or perhaps she'll go red alert on something completely normal and non-flirting, so you'll have a chance to say "If you think this is flirting there's something wrong with you, I'm just being friendly and that's all.". This way you discredit her and you win again. Important thing is if you actually flirt with her and get caught, this totally wont work .

thing is, i really wouldnt mind sitting this girl in question down and having a frank conversation with her but i've heard that would make me look weak, like i'm chasing her. but then if i dont they accuse me of being a mind player. its so confusing.

In that case, I'd wait for a similar remark from her. Like when she says something like that again next time, tell her that's it and you had enough, but not in an angry way. Then tell her you two should talk some time about this. Have your sincere conversation. You're not gaming either one of them so if this has been bothering you, it doesnt matter how it makes you look. Just go ahead and talk to her, if you are honest and you dont look like you're trying to defend yourself but actually telling the truth instead, it's not going to make you look weak. It's how you're going to act that matters. Are you going to stand your ground while you explain, or are you going to look like a scared pussy? You might say the exact same things and look like any one of the two. Show her you're confident and that's it.