PUA Forum :: Low confidence girl or shit-testing?

Hi PUAs. Here's the situation:

I'm 29 and not an AFC, have very good body language, no AA at all. Lot of girls in office even told me that i show a lot of attitude in my walking style.

I met this HB7.5 girl in my office. She was 29 and never was in a serious relationship before (this is the reason i think she has low confidence). But couple of other AFC desperate guys in office said they like her.

She used to watch me when our band used to practise for performing office event. By the way i play guitar. She gives a lot of smiles whenever i see her during practising sessions. From her body language i could tell that she was totally into me. She used to be a shy girl (she said to me when we started talking) but she claims she is not anymore.

Initially i was not too into her. She started approaching me more often and even got a guitar and asked me to teach and i used to couple of times.

She used to do a lot of online chat (and i was the one who used to end the discussion). She even came for a house party at friends place and we talked (nothing much after that since she had to leave early). We went to movies along with friends as well. Every time she was the one proposing to meet (along with friends though)

All the time I held a solid frame. I started liking this girl and used to send text messages for catching up at the movies (i was the one to end the convo and used to text very less frequently than she did).

All of a sudden i see fb statuses from her like she wanted to move one and wait for perfect guy and like 'attitude hurts a relationship' and crap.

After that she froze out. Used to avoid me when i see her accidentally. Never used to initiate online chat.

So i resorted the freeze-out routine. I used to avoid her (but i used to smile when i confronted her in office but did not start convo) while maintaining a solid frame.

Then i realized she more often bumped into me (although they look accidental i guess she tried to confront me). After 1 week freeze-out when i confronted her, i started convo and from her body language i figured she didn't want to end the convo. This happened couple of times and all the while i ended the convo. Our conversations used to good and filled with humour.

I see her fb statuses now and then like 'love finds its own way', 'love is not worth to those who don't want to give' and such bullshit.

From all this i feel that she is looking for a perfect guy to have an LR. i feel that she thinks i'm hard to get which is why now a days i try to initiate convo and make plans to catchup at movies.

She even tries to meet new guys.

Could any PUA point out what the problem is here? have i done anything wrong and what i should do? I can tell that from my body language people think i show attitude.

I like this girl would love to have an LR with her. Should i slow down my body language and be not too-alpha?

Author:	maddus [ Tue Jan 08, 2013 7:19 pm ]
Post subject:	Low confidence girl or shit-testing?
Hi PUAs. Here's the situation: I'm 29 and not an AFC, have very good body language, no AA at all. Lot of girls in office even told me that i show a lot of attitude in my walking style. I met this HB7.5 girl in my office. She was 29 and never was in a serious relationship before (this is the reason i think she has low confidence). But couple of other AFC desperate guys in office said they like her. She used to watch me when our band used to practise for performing office event. By the way i play guitar. She gives a lot of smiles whenever i see her during practising sessions. From her body language i could tell that she was totally into me. She used to be a shy girl (she said to me when we started talking) but she claims she is not anymore. Initially i was not too into her. She started approaching me more often and even got a guitar and asked me to teach and i used to couple of times. She used to do a lot of online chat (and i was the one who used to end the discussion). She even came for a house party at friends place and we talked (nothing much after that since she had to leave early). We went to movies along with friends as well. Every time she was the one proposing to meet (along with friends though) All the time I held a solid frame. I started liking this girl and used to send text messages for catching up at the movies (i was the one to end the convo and used to text very less frequently than she did). All of a sudden i see fb statuses from her like she wanted to move one and wait for perfect guy and like 'attitude hurts a relationship' and crap. After that she froze out. Used to avoid me when i see her accidentally. Never used to initiate online chat. So i resorted the freeze-out routine. I used to avoid her (but i used to smile when i confronted her in office but did not start convo) while maintaining a solid frame. Then i realized she more often bumped into me (although they look accidental i guess she tried to confront me). After 1 week freeze-out when i confronted her, i started convo and from her body language i figured she didn't want to end the convo. This happened couple of times and all the while i ended the convo. Our conversations used to good and filled with humour. I see her fb statuses now and then like 'love finds its own way', 'love is not worth to those who don't want to give' and such bullshit. From all this i feel that she is looking for a perfect guy to have an LR. i feel that she thinks i'm hard to get which is why now a days i try to initiate convo and make plans to catchup at movies. She even tries to meet new guys. Could any PUA point out what the problem is here? have i done anything wrong and what i should do? I can tell that from my body language people think i show attitude. I like this girl would love to have an LR with her. Should i slow down my body language and be not too-alpha?

Author:	Versalis [ Tue Jan 08, 2013 7:45 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Low confidence girl or shit-testing?
So, from what you're writing.... she keeps trying to get your attention, you keep brushing her off and wonder why you're not dating? Possibly because you're avoiding her. If she's into you, just ask her out. I seriously can't figure out what your sticking point is. 1. She wants to date me 2. I want to date her 3. I try to avoid her 4. Why are we not dating? I think because 3. Try replacing it with "I asked her out".

Author:	beingattractive [ Tue Jan 08, 2013 10:54 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Low confidence girl or shit-testing?
Quote: Hi PUAs. Here's the situation: I'm 29 and not an AFC, have very good body language, no AA at all. Lot of girls in office even told me that i show a lot of attitude in my walking style. I met this HB7.5 girl in my office. She was 29 and never was in a serious relationship before (this is the reason i think she has low confidence). But couple of other AFC desperate guys in office said they like her. She used to watch me when our band used to practise for performing office event. By the way i play guitar. She gives a lot of smiles whenever i see her during practising sessions. From her body language i could tell that she was totally into me. She used to be a shy girl (she said to me when we started talking) but she claims she is not anymore. Initially i was not too into her. She started approaching me more often and even got a guitar and asked me to teach and i used to couple of times. She used to do a lot of online chat (and i was the one who used to end the discussion). She even came for a house party at friends place and we talked (nothing much after that since she had to leave early). We went to movies along with friends as well. Every time she was the one proposing to meet (along with friends though) All the time I held a solid frame. I started liking this girl and used to send text messages for catching up at the movies (i was the one to end the convo and used to text very less frequently than she did). All of a sudden i see fb statuses from her like she wanted to move one and wait for perfect guy and like 'attitude hurts a relationship' and crap. After that she froze out. Used to avoid me when i see her accidentally. Never used to initiate online chat. So i resorted the freeze-out routine. I used to avoid her (but i used to smile when i confronted her in office but did not start convo) while maintaining a solid frame. Then i realized she more often bumped into me (although they look accidental i guess she tried to confront me). After 1 week freeze-out when i confronted her, i started convo and from her body language i figured she didn't want to end the convo. This happened couple of times and all the while i ended the convo. Our conversations used to good and filled with humour. I see her fb statuses now and then like 'love finds its own way', 'love is not worth to those who don't want to give' and such bullshit. From all this i feel that she is looking for a perfect guy to have an LR. i feel that she thinks i'm hard to get which is why now a days i try to initiate convo and make plans to catchup at movies. She even tries to meet new guys. Could any PUA point out what the problem is here? have i done anything wrong and what i should do? I can tell that from my body language people think i show attitude. I like this girl would love to have an LR with her. Should i slow down my body language and be not too-alpha? If you do want to try out a relationship with her, you have all the green lights brother... At this point it's ok to start showing interest in her, start asking her to go out, giving her compliments etc. It's not your body language, you just need to give some of that interest back to her. Otherwise your just taking and taking and not giving back, thats why she feels like that.

Author:	maddus [ Wed Jan 09, 2013 6:11 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Low confidence girl or shit-testing?
I was trying to look cool n non needy. Actually i did ask her for dinner. She seemed interestd n said yes but said she cant one day b4 date. That why i thought she was playing n i froze out 4 one week Aftr that i approached her n she talked 4 long time. I read some topics abt emotionally manipulativ women. From body language She looks calm n composedi so doesnt fall into that category. Lot of times she praises me saying that im smart n all that. I am confused wat to do now. Nowadays i think she is trying to gt me jealous by talking to othr guys. Or is it just my life imagination n she is really on the lookout 4 relationship with someone else

Author:	maddus [ Wed Jan 09, 2013 6:12 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Low confidence girl or shit-testing?
Thanks for the replies brothers

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Author:	Versalis [ Wed Jan 09, 2013 9:34 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Low confidence girl or shit-testing?
Dinner dates are kinda sucky for a first date. I don't know where you live, but try something else. You're almost 30, so a vineyard might be nice. Shy girls tend to love those. Art, theater any of that if she's decently educated. If nothing else, try a shopping date or trip to a zoo.

Author:	Alexis_BR [ Wed Jan 09, 2013 9:56 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Low confidence girl or shit-testing?
Hey man, I think I agree with you: she is probably insecure. Also, I am almost pretty sure that she likes you. But, since she is insecure, she might sometimes do what she did: accept a dinner, and in the last minute refuse it. My advice is the following: set a night out with friends - and try to make sure she is included. It must seem as it is a regular night out for her - but she will be glad that you're there. Be nice as you meet her (big smile), but do not give her attention. Stay the first 15 to 30 minutes just talking with other people (preferentially women) and having fun. After that, approach her and try "The cube" on her - and, during the process, just say nice things to her - I think you must show her that you understand her... If you feel she is more comfortable, its time to isolate her. Try: "Hey, I need to get another beer. Come with me" Go there, do not buy a beer for her, and start talking funny things (the last time i did that, the HB started kinda of "hugging" me... she was doing kino). After that, try to evolve to a more "kiss-like" strategy (the evolution fase) and BANG, kiss her. Straight to the point: I think you can kiss her, but it must happen in a "safe environment" for her - she must not now, beforehand, that she is going to kiss you. It just happened. Girls do not like to make decisions. It just happened! I don't wish you luck, because you don't need it. Just get that girl! Respect from Brazil,

Author:	maddus [ Thu Jan 10, 2013 7:26 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Low confidence girl or shit-testing?
Next time i meet her i'm thinking to complement her probably by saying that she has done eyebrows/hair well or that her shoes match her dress etc. Is that a good idea to build rapport?

Author:	Don Horneone [ Thu Jan 10, 2013 9:48 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Low confidence girl or shit-testing?
Quote: Next time i meet her i'm thinking to complement her probably by saying that she has done eyebrows/hair well or that her shoes match her dress etc. Is that a good idea to build rapport? Rapport is equal between two people, you don't really create it by putting the other person up on a pedestal. You had rapport before by the sounds of it, when "she talked 4 long time", that's what girls do when they feel a rapport. Your problem is not lack of rapport, but lack of escalation.

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