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| Getting over your first? https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=154349 |
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| Author: | RedMan21 [ Mon Jan 07, 2013 8:20 am ] |
| Post subject: | Getting over your first? |
Hey, new to the world of pickup but I have high hopes! Anyways I've been with 1 girl in my entire life. Dated for 6 months, good relationship lots of sex, ended because I broke her trust a few times. So basically that's 5 months ago and I'm STILL obsessed with this girl and I fucking HATE it. I'm 19 and will be living at college campus in 8 months or so. I kid you not, everyday, every damn day half my thoughts revolve around getting my ex back, how she'll never move on, how I'll never find someone that makes me feel like she did, etc. it's driving me fucking nuts. I want to move on and begin seeing women because I choose to see them, I want to love the women I choose o love. So any and all advice on how to rid myself of this damn obsession with my ex and begin to become the guy I want to be with women is greatly appreciated. I'm willing to do whatever it takes, I've had enough of this insane anxiety and bs over a girl. Thanks a bunch |
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| Author: | Rough Operator [ Mon Jan 07, 2013 11:05 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Getting over your first? |
1) Delete her number, remove her from any social networking sites. I am in the process of getting over someone and have deactivated Facebook so I am completely disconnected from that world, it is doing wonders for me! I don't have the strength to just avoid her updates, I was searching for her page constantly so I deleted her, blocked her and then decided to take a FB break. 2) Go no contact, don't speak to her at all, don't beg for her back no matter how hard it gets and it will get hard. Going no contact shows that you won't settle for less than what you want (friendship), you won't have to suppress your feelings when around her because you agreed to being friends and you also won't risk becoming her emotional tampon. Just disappear from her life completely because hanging on is not conducive to healing. Best of all, it will give her a chance to miss you and lead to a possible reconciliation, but this is NOT a good reason for initiating no contact... You need to do it because you want to MOVE ON. Even if she texts/calls you, ignore and delete that shit for at least a month. 3) Just accept that it is going to hurt. You're not going to feel brilliant all the time, you're not going to instantly get over it even if it seems like she does. Spend time with friends, take up a new hobby, start exercising regularly. If you need to cry, then cry and get it out of your system and never be afraid of being in touch with your emotions. You will have times when you feel fine and you can really see that you're making progress in getting over her and then BAM! You have a dream about her and feel miserable for a morning, but these things will pass. Time really is the greatest healer. Stay disciplined with the No Contact and live your life. 4) Other women. Many people will say "Go and get laid" but I advise against this if you really loved this girl. You were only together six months but never let anyone be disparaging of your feelings, things can feel like love pretty damn quickly, I fell super hard for a girl I dated just two months! And she was the fourteenth I had slept with and third actual relationship. I would take some time to dedicate to YOU, work on yourself because rushing out and sleeping with other women can be great but if done too soon to a heartbreak you might just be comparing them to your ex and thinking of the stuff you and your ex used to do and just feeling shitty. One final note is that you WILL get better and you WILL meet someone that will make you laugh to look back at this. That doesn't invalidate the experience you had with your ex. You will eventually be able to look back at her as a great girl who touched your life for a brief time and there will be no bitterness or pain anymore. In the words of Morrissey, "I can smile about it now, but at the time it was terrible." EDIT: I didn't see the part that said it happened five months ago. Anymore details on whether you went no contact etc? |
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| Author: | RedMan21 [ Mon Jan 07, 2013 3:40 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Getting over your first? |
Hey, thanks for the advice! But no, went no contact for 2 months then began talking here and there, agreed to meet up and "be friends" like you said not to. Saw her twice in the last 2 weeks with a mutual friend. I have a very close female friend (same mutual friend) who happened to become best friends with my ex, how hat happened i have no fuckin idea! Anyways ya ex has another boyfriend yet was acting like she wanted to hookup when we were together recently. I know I want her back but honestly I don't want her back more then I do. I'm so sick of all my energy going into these "thought cycles" about this girl, it's truly exhausting. And yep i had a dream about her last night and felt just wonderful in the morning lol. I'm thinking about just cutting the mutual friend out of my life completely for the time being, she hangs out with my ex on an almost daily basis... I deleted my Facebook too and have no inclination to bring it back. She was a really good looking girl, although I definitely play her up in my own head to be hotter than she really is, and have had the "ill never find another like her" thoughts for awhile. I think those are all the relevant details, thanks a million for the advice! |
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| Author: | Rough Operator [ Tue Jan 08, 2013 3:40 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Getting over your first? |
If you're not cool with being just friends with her, then cut contact again or tell her she is too fucking hot for you to just be friends. It's tough, I am going through it now. I know the girl I broke up with isn't the hottest ever, but she had a great body and the sex was amazing and it colours my image of her considerably! PM me if you need anything. |
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