Quote: Seems legit. Where do I sign up?
The website isn't up yet so you have to give me some time. I'm still working on my necromancer costume so I can better relate to my clientele most of whom spend more time in the world of warcraft than they do in the real world. That and the fact that the ladies love a guy with a tall furry hat.
In the spirit of the holidays however I've decided to share with all you frustrated young boys some secrets from my mysterious method. You see there are several things you must understand about girls and women in general.
1. You must understand that girls and women are your God, you are nothing but a weak pathetic clown put on this earth to cater to every single wish, desire, or need of a woman. You are to approach her, entertain her (And her friends) when she needs to be entertained, neg her when she gets too confident, react to her highs and lows, and strategize your every move and action to match the current state of your vagina God's mood and state.
2. You are to completely forget that you are a man with potential to become powerful, you are to forget that your time has value and that you could possibly become the man that girls must learn how to appease/get the attention of. You have no talent, or ability to ever become anything of value or acquire large amount of wealth. You don't need to think about what it's like to be extremely rich and be able to decide at any given moment to travel to one of the many sex destinations world wide and fuck multiple 10s at the same time without saying a single word let alone running any routines or approaching any strangers. That's too much power that a useless clown like you can never acquire. You want to spend weeks at a time thinking about what to text to your vagina God in order to keep her interested enough to continue to spend time in your presence. The Mysterious Method teaches you to forget about reaching your potential as a man and instead divert your one and only asset as a young man that is your time and energy and use it to appease your vagina god in hope of her being satisfied with your actions to the point of allowing you in her presence for longer than 5 minute.
3. The Mysterious Method teaches you to master the art of demonstrating high value without actually having one, because as stated earlier, having high value is hard work and might possibly require years of complete dedication of your time to a career/business, but that's not what the vagina God wants. Remember your time and energy is a useless commodity and you have no value as a man. The woman has all the power and value, and it is your duty as a man on this earth to use all your energy to understand and learn how to appease your vagina god. Furthermore we teach you that your brain's natural and correct warning to you NOT to make a complete fool out of yourself in front of strangers is called approach anxiety and you must overcome this fear by doing exactly what your brain is warning you not to do, you will eventually desensitize yourself of completely destroying your honor/dignity/manhood after repeatedly SPAM your attention for free to strangers who have done nothing for you in return. You see your brain hasn't evolved throughout history to tell you what is the most optimal action to take in a social situation in order to maximize your chances of reproduction. Strangely it has developed some strange tendencies like warning you of robbing yourself of your social value by randomly entertaining strangers in local places. You have to overcome these tendencies.
4. You must analyze/think over/stress over/and debate every single word that you utter to your vagina God, because your god is sensitive and might be upset with you and find what you said/did unattractive. Your vagina God responded coldly to your approach? Fuck you, learn to approach better, your vagina God became cold after initial IOI's, you must have fucked up the attraction stage, your vagina God flaked on you after giving out her number? Be glad that you even got a number from your god in the first place, time to brag about it on PUA forums. Remember it's always your fault, there's something lacking in YOU. You're not good enough if your vagina god didn't find you good enough.
5. My Mysterious Method teaches you that despite the fact that throughout history until the very present, the most attractive women have always flocked to the most successful men, and that taller men are much more attractive purely on a biological level than shorter men, you are to believe that your pathetic short broke ass can sleep with a different 10 every week only if you mastered enough routines and acted more confident.
6. You have to understand that the fundamentally flawed state of marriage/long term relationships is something you must strive to go after. Forget about saving weeks/months of your time and just hiring a prostitute who will give you a better service anyway, NO, you must spend hours of your precious time on PUA forums and pay thousands of your hard earned dollars to bootcamps to learn how to align your inherently non-aligned interests/character to that of a female's.
This is of course just a sample of the things I or one of my lovable sidekicks will be teaching at my bootcamp, I hope this puts you well on your way to mastering the art of telling corny jokes and bullshit stories to strangers many of whom will be annoyed/embarrassed by your weak, pathetic, and ultimately people-appeasing actions.
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