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Bouncing back from a breakup!
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Author:  berg101 [ Wed Dec 19, 2012 10:53 am ]
Post subject:  Bouncing back from a breakup!
Hey guys!

Okay so basically about 6 weeks ago me and my girlfriend broke up. She initiated it but it was kind of a mutual thing. Anyway since then I have done whatever possible not to have any contact with her and I've been fine without her - she was a bit of an arse hole and only cared about herself.

Anyway the problem I seem to be having is that I always feel the need to have contact with girls and anytime I go out somewhere I feel myself yearning for girls to be there. I was out on Monday night with some friends and these two girls, I was out last night clubbing for a friends birthday so was surrounded by girls in the clubs etc and now today Im absolutely exhausted but this girl wants to meet up with me for a few drinks and I just can't say no.

I'm not a one night stand kind of guy and since my split with my girlfriend have only been with one other girl. I like relationships and getting to know someone properly instead of just a random drunk hookup. I guess Im feeling like this because I think I need validation. I was in a relationship for three years which ended this time last year and then a few months later I got with another girl and was with her for 7 months so I'm not used to being single at all. I don't at all act in a desperate manner when I'm around women but I make myself feel desperate because inside I know that my mind automatically assumes that unless Im doing something that involves women - be it meeting friends or just going for a few drinks, I end up thinking it'll be a rubbish night and not having that much fun.

Any advice you guys could offer would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks in advance everyone!
Author:  SE23 [ Wed Dec 19, 2012 11:14 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Bouncing back from a breakup!
Seeking validation from outside of yourself is always a concern, its good to hear about how you came back from the break up. Personally i would say developing yourself from the inside, hobbies, life goals, having fun with mates, getting contacts from all walks of life and high statuses, most of developing your mind making it stronger. Becoming this uber version of yourself (not saying your like that already) would attract women to you, on top of this its about only seeking validation from yourself. I am pretty much in a similar position as even to the point of breakup, i did have a bit of contact with her despite not being with the intention of getting back with, it still was a bad thing to do.
Author:  berg101 [ Wed Dec 19, 2012 11:31 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Bouncing back from a breakup!
Quote:
Seeking validation from outside of yourself is always a concern, its good to hear about how you came back from the break up. Personally i would say developing yourself from the inside, hobbies, life goals, having fun with mates, getting contacts from all walks of life and high statuses, most of developing your mind making it stronger. Becoming this uber version of yourself (not saying your like that already) would attract women to you, on top of this its about only seeking validation from yourself. I am pretty much in a similar position as even to the point of breakup, i did have a bit of contact with her despite not being with the intention of getting back with, it still was a bad thing to do.
Thanks for your response.

Yeah only seeking validation from myself is something I've struggled with for a while now. It never used to be a problem but because I've been in a lot of long term relationships for the past 4ish years you kind of become semi dependent on your other half. I guess I just need to concentrate on myself and think about myself. Im sure over time my own self validation will increase and my confidence will come back, it's only been 6 weeks and it's definitely coming back loads already. I need to not put so much 'stock' in meeting new girls all the time to make me feel good.
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