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she is alwasy hot and cold
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Author:  tomazo28 [ Mon Dec 17, 2012 2:29 pm ]
Post subject:  she is alwasy hot and cold
So I met this girl in some time ago back in April, but she was living in a different city, she came back to mine, we did not sleep together, but I kept in touch. I decided to stop contacting her because I could not see it going anywhere, any way she moved back to my city, so our paths crossed again on several occasions, when I was out, anyway during that time I slept with her a few times, it was not great mainly cause I was drunk, but for some reason, despite keeping in touch via the social media and text, she kept blowing me off with excuses to meet up.

So I after the last time I slept with her I left it two weeks, and then re-initiated contact, and it was all good, but then the same thing happened tried to arrange to meet up and she started blowing me off again. She is now ignoring my suggestions for a meet up. I know she was totally into me before, but I get the impression she keeps putting up her defenses when I get close. I have tried very hard not to come of needy, and to have lots of space between interactions via text etc... All the usual things you would normally do, but I really lost as to what to do next? Any suggestions
Author:  mPUA Savior [ Tue Dec 18, 2012 7:31 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: she is alwasy hot and cold
jesus christ....this is like the 4th message i have read with.....girl is blowing me off, i keep trying to get her to hang out, but she DOESNT WANT TOOO.

what do i do?


dude, find someone else & let the bitch go

perhaps when you find another you will run into that other girl and get her jealous highly unlikely but its your best chance.

basically let it go, ignore her and stop caring so much and let her know you dont care. DONT TELL HER..you dont care...but just by your attitude
Author:  puaninja [ Tue Dec 18, 2012 8:17 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: she is alwasy hot and cold
Move on. That's what you do when you are put in a situation with a person who is only going to waste your time and cause you grief.
Author:  ItsAlwaysOn [ Wed Dec 19, 2012 8:22 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: she is alwasy hot and cold
i agree with the other posts. just stop chasing her and focus on other girls. maybe she'll get back to you someday, maybe she wont. who cares? balls in her court, let her get back to you if she wants to.

and another thing. if you text her every couple of weeks and it goes pretty well up until the point where you ask her out, then just stop the conversation short of asking her out. perhaps that will be the thing that sparks something between you. just have some fun text conversation occasionally then cut it off and leave her wanting more.

so those would be the two best options iyam. either 1. freeze her out or 2. stay on the radar with fun conversation but dont ask her out, try to goad her into suggesting a meetup. there really isnt much else to do if shes not really feeling it right now.
Author:  tomazo28 [ Fri Dec 28, 2012 5:09 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: she is alwasy hot and cold
Appreciated the input guys however, the advice was not heplful as I had hopped, since my last post she texted me to see if I was out, and was all over me, however I led my guard down when I was drunk. I think now she realises I'm a bit over emtionally invested. I'm not sure where to go next I will most likely see her out again soon, but not sure how to play it, because it ended with her very upset last time our paths crossed.
Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Fri Dec 28, 2012 5:18 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: she is alwasy hot and cold
Buy her a ring, a car, and a house, it's your only hope!
Author:  BITmixit [ Fri Dec 28, 2012 7:17 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: she is alwasy hot and cold
Quote:
So I met this girl in some time ago back in April, but she was living in a different city, she came back to mine, we did not sleep together, but I kept in touch. I decided to stop contacting her because I could not see it going anywhere, any way she moved back to my city, so our paths crossed again on several occasions, when I was out, anyway during that time I slept with her a few times, it was not great mainly cause I was drunk, but for some reason, despite keeping in touch via the social media and text, she kept blowing me off with excuses to meet up.

So I after the last time I slept with her I left it two weeks, and then re-initiated contact, and it was all good, but then the same thing happened tried to arrange to meet up and she started blowing me off again. She is now ignoring my suggestions for a meet up. I know she was totally into me before, but I get the impression she keeps putting up her defenses when I get close. I have tried very hard not to come of needy, and to have lots of space between interactions via text etc... All the usual things you would normally do, but I really lost as to what to do next? Any suggestions
I literally had the same situation about a month ago with a girl like this and by like this your situation sounds exactly the same thankfully I was warned by A LOT (and by this I mean every person that found out I was shagging her went "ooooo mate...be careful, don't get attached" or from girls "Stay clear, she'll only mess with your head. You can do better then that" so I conditioned myself to not have any feelings for her at all and just use her.

In the end I got a fair bit of sex out of her and conditioning myself to not have feelings for her worked. Last time I saw her she dragged me to a party being all "omg its christmas soon we need to have sex before we part ways" then spent the whole party chatting with guys and sharing her number around. Meh she was a whore.

ANyway bro thats my story and the best piece of advice I can give you is to go out and game a girl to the point where she is gagging for it. I did, built my ego right back up and I was happy as larry over christmas.

Personally she sounds like what this girl was/is a "bunny boiler" or "attention seeking whore" (A girl that wants attention so desperately she'll use sex as payment with any guy) if you think you can handle that then keep playing games with her but if you can't then STAY AWAY...I mean KEEP THE FUCK CLEAR because this girl will play your emotions against you and will secretly enjoy any reaction she gets out of you even if its emotionally damaging you and even if she acts concerned, secretly inside she's grinning like a muthafucka.

Be the better person, decide if you can handle the mindgames, if not WALK AWAY man.
Quote:
Appreciated the input guys however, the advice was not heplful as I had hopped, since my last post she texted me to see if I was out, and was all over me, however I led my guard down when I was drunk. I think now she realises I'm a bit over emtionally invested. I'm not sure where to go next I will most likely see her out again soon, but not sure how to play it, because it ended with her very upset last time our paths crossed.
Could you elaborate further on this please. As my situation was similar to yours, elaborate on what she got upset about, how you let your guard down and what you revealed to her that would make her think you are emotionally invested.

I'm just gonna say this now because you need to do it anyway. DON'T let this girl know your emotionally invested with her EVER again, to a "bunny boiler" emotional investment from a guy pretty much means "AH I don't need to have sex with him anymore to get the attention I want, wheres another guy"
Author:  Dexter's Lab [ Fri Dec 28, 2012 8:24 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: she is alwasy hot and cold
hahahaha..
A similar thing happened with me! Best solution!! DELETE the number! It works! I've had a few instances but this 1 is the closest to yours.

Started talking to this random girl on FB she lives 6 hrs away by flight. SPAM for a month or 2. We connected very well. We used to SPAM almost every night after a few weeks!

She would text me - I miss you!! , I want to be with you and blah blah.. After 3-4 months she came to see me for 4 days. Had the best time with her. She flew back and started to flake. No reply to my texts/calls.

Deleted her number. One random day after 3 months i get a message from her. Started talking but i flaked this time.

The more emotions you show, she will think you want to get laid no matter how much you try to convince her that you like her as a person!!

Get a new girl mate!! If its meant to happen again it will !!
Author:  tomazo28 [ Sun Dec 30, 2012 1:06 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: she is alwasy hot and cold
I said things I should not off e.g, why you so flaky, why won’t you meet up etc, don’t want to sleep with you drunk stuff along those lines, the response was emotional aggression and tears
Author:  BITmixit [ Sun Dec 30, 2012 6:18 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: she is alwasy hot and cold
Quote:
I said things I should not off e.g, why you so flaky, why won’t you meet up etc, don’t want to sleep with you drunk stuff along those lines, the response was emotional aggression and tears
Yeah don't do that stuff man, never works unless her investment is INSANE and she can't get enough of your cock.

The girl I was talking about only did it sober. When she went out drunk she would text me at like fucking 3am (waking me up) just "baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaabe!" so I would call her back and just get "OH HUEY WHERE R U WHAT R U DOING...DOESN'T MATTER GOT SOMEONE ELSE NOW KKTHXBYE" <pathetic mess.
Author:  tomazo28 [ Sat Jan 05, 2013 8:20 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: she is alwasy hot and cold
Well there has been more reverlations since I posted on here last, she s basically told me that clincal depression and social anxiety are the reasons for her behaviour, which complicates things a bit, but is this the truth is she really that bad.
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