PUA Forum :: Why Do I keep Messing Up?

For example if a girl says "I am studying Nursing" don't just say "Oh really? Thats cool..." You should be thinking what is it about her, what aspects of her personality might drive her to enter a caring profession, what are her values? Then ask her about it. You can easily have an interesting conversation that they won't forget in a hurry and forge a connection.

Have you tried other locations, like comic book conventions, bookstores, outdoor concerts, stuff like that?

Quote:

Have you tried other locations, like comic book conventions, bookstores, outdoor concerts, stuff like that?

Yes I have, although not as frequently. I tried to pull in an art gallery not long ago. Club smoking areas are probably the best place so far, especially if I'm/they're pretty hammered.

What if a rocket scientist had your mentality? "I'd like to put rockets in space but there's way to much shit to remember--parabolic trajectories, Newtonian physics, yadda yadda yadda..."

I'm pretty sure that Mystery, Style, and all the other famous puas wouldn't write all that stuff about kino and ioi's if it was a load of bollocks.

Since you like the club areas, just come up with general "oh snap" questions that you can ask if you don't have anything. They work best if they're relevant to the environment or the people you're talking to (stuff like "hey, I think your dress is cool -- why'd you decide to wear it?", the key is to keep it light-hearted. And if for whatever reason they don't want you, noone but yourself is keeping you around. For example, this past weekend I went to a wedding for some friends I met in college, and my "oh snap" question was to ask people how they knew the bride and groom and go from there.

The only rule I follow in pick up is: If you're not having fun, you're doing it wrong. Have fun. Relax. Basically all I do, is giving high 5's to the people all over the place. Sometimes I would high 5 a girl, hook in the fingers and her her a twirl (if she complies)

Also, most pick up literature is aimed at geeks who are not very confident but have loads of hobbies and creative endeavours, so they have lots to talk about. It's not aimed at ballsy guys like me who can't be bothered with most things and hardly have anything to talk about.

Author:	JHA91 [ Sun Dec 02, 2012 10:39 pm ]
Post subject:	Why Do I keep Messing Up?
I have no fear whatsoever of cold approaching girls in clubs or wherever. Sometimes I even approach girls as part of a dare or challenge from one of my mates and often go about in good humour. One thing I like to do is sing the call me maybe lines as a chat up. Some of it's pretty tongue-in-cheek as well (*shows them my phone - oh I've already dialled in the 07 part of their number for them!). I'm also loud and outgoing, especially after a few. So why should I be in the ranks along with all the shy guys that don't get laid given how ballsy I am? So the problem is that I just can't be bothered with talking and I'm shit at listening (especially in clubs), I'd rather ask someone for their number after about two sentences or something stupid. I'm literally a moron when it comes to conversation (run out of things to say after about a minute) I try to get around this with my dance moves but they're also terrible. I'm also pretty direct, as in, there's no bullshit - women can see what I want and I don't make any pretense to cover it up. Why don't they respect this kind of genuinity? But I'm kinda tall and good looking so I don't see why this isn't enough to pull girls. It's like, as a guy, you have to have the social skills of James Bond these days. Also I get pissed off that I'm talking to about 20 girls on a typical night and I don't see any girls making the effort to approach blokes, what's that all about? I've just tried so many different approaches and been rejected so many times I've just completely lost the heart for it, I mean I've made a serious effort for the past year or so and I've just not reaped any benefits whatsoever. My self-esteem is in tatters because the only reason for my repeated failures must be my personality which fucking sucks. And since I am at uni, there are also loads of guys who are intelligent, confident, in lots of societies and way better conversationalists than me, so that just makes it all the worse. I also realise that most girls my age, especially at my uni will have had loads more experience than me so if I eventually get lucky, my first time's going to be really awkward. p.s. I read the game too but I'm nowhere near suave enough to pull it off even though I have the balls for it. Plus there's way too much shit to remember (kino, IOI, blah, blah, blah) and I also think it's a load of bollocks.

Author:	Rough Operator [ Sun Dec 02, 2012 11:22 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Why Do I keep Messing Up?
You kind of have to be bothered about talking to someone and listening if you want to pick up girls and get laid. In fact, I am wondering if this is a troll topic... You just need to practice and hone your conversational skills. A lot of guys can only do boring small talk, you need to LISTEN to what they say and then think about it differently. For example if a girl says "I am studying Nursing" don't just say "Oh really? Thats cool..." You should be thinking what is it about her, what aspects of her personality might drive her to enter a caring profession, what are her values? Then ask her about it. You can easily have an interesting conversation that they won't forget in a hurry and forge a connection.

Author:	JHA91 [ Sun Dec 02, 2012 11:33 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Why Do I keep Messing Up?
Quote: For example if a girl says "I am studying Nursing" don't just say "Oh really? Thats cool..." You should be thinking what is it about her, what aspects of her personality might drive her to enter a caring profession, what are her values? Then ask her about it. You can easily have an interesting conversation that they won't forget in a hurry and forge a connection. I would normally say "oh, that's cool I study x", since I don't know anything about nursing. So what would you say differently? p.s. this isn't a troll, I'm genuinely a moron, my friends think it is hilarious how bad I am in social situations of any kind.

Author:	sketchspace [ Mon Dec 03, 2012 12:24 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Why Do I keep Messing Up?
Seems to me like your environment is the problem. From what I read you only try picking up at the clubs. Have you tried other locations, like comic book conventions, bookstores, outdoor concerts, stuff like that?

Author:	JHA91 [ Mon Dec 03, 2012 12:28 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Why Do I keep Messing Up?
Quote: Have you tried other locations, like comic book conventions, bookstores, outdoor concerts, stuff like that? Yes I have, although not as frequently. I tried to pull in an art gallery not long ago. Club smoking areas are probably the best place so far, especially if I'm/they're pretty hammered.

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Author:	Fly_Swatter [ Mon Dec 03, 2012 12:31 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Why Do I keep Messing Up?
1) You said it -- you're too direct. Just talk to girls casually like they wouldn't know you're looking for sex or even their phone numbers. 2) You run out of material because you need more scripted routines. Find stories to tell, fun questions to ask, etc. Memorize them... Not word per word, but verbatim. 3) This is a guy chase girl world. Get used to it.

Author:	puaninja [ Mon Dec 03, 2012 2:13 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Why Do I keep Messing Up?
What if a rocket scientist had your mentality? "I'd like to put rockets in space but there's way to much shit to remember--parabolic trajectories, Newtonian physics, yadda yadda yadda..." I'm pretty sure that Mystery, Style, and all the other famous puas wouldn't write all that stuff about kino and ioi's if it was a load of bollocks. Your problem is that you are the typical club guy. You're tall and good looking with weak game and expect that to be enough to pick up women. Girls might give you their numbers but they won't remember you or give you day 2s because you aren't putting enough effort into it while your in set. Try doing some kino, and looking for ioi's, and see if that actually helps. I bet it will.

Author:	Flex007 [ Mon Dec 03, 2012 2:24 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Why Do I keep Messing Up?
I can relate to a lot of what you're saying, I have had similar issues and experiences. There is nothing wrong with being direct, but it has to be done in a smooth, confident and none creepy, needy or aggressive way. You're probably not making a good enough connection with these girls and therefore they don't feel comfortable enough with you to take things further, you may need to work on showing compassion and a genuine interest in the girls you're talking to. Try to ask deep questions about them, find out what makes them tick, life goals, ambitions, fears, loves and hates. Also keep things interesting, memorise interesting or funny stories that you read, memorise some fun (none cheesy) games or routines to help things along. Also if you're talking to someone and you start to feel the interaction is getting a little stale, just walk away before it becomes uncomfortable, that way you can't get rejected if you're the one that ends the interaction, you can always reapproach them again later if you think of anything better to say.

Author:	sketchspace [ Mon Dec 03, 2012 7:14 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Why Do I keep Messing Up?
Quote: Quote: Have you tried other locations, like comic book conventions, bookstores, outdoor concerts, stuff like that? Yes I have, although not as frequently. I tried to pull in an art gallery not long ago. Club smoking areas are probably the best place so far, especially if I'm/they're pretty hammered. Ok, I thought other places would be good since they either allow you to do an activity with little talking or inspire you to talk about the place naturally. Since you like the club areas, just come up with general "oh snap" questions that you can ask if you don't have anything. They work best if they're relevant to the environment or the people you're talking to (stuff like "hey, I think your dress is cool -- why'd you decide to wear it?", the key is to keep it light-hearted. And if for whatever reason they don't want you, noone but yourself is keeping you around. For example, this past weekend I went to a wedding for some friends I met in college, and my "oh snap" question was to ask people how they knew the bride and groom and go from there. Part of this is also with yourself. I recommend forgetting about all this DHVIOIDLV business and forgetting about comparing yourself with all the other guys in the world. You just gotta do your own thing and accept that there are going to be things that other guys do better than you. If you want to improve, you need to stop making excuses, try some of these suggestions, make mistakes and learn from them, and eventually you'll be better than where you are today.

Author:	Andre2807 [ Mon Dec 03, 2012 12:03 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Why Do I keep Messing Up?
The only rule I follow in pick up is: If you're not having fun, you're doing it wrong. Have fun. Relax. Basically all I do, is giving high 5's to the people all over the place. Sometimes I would high 5 a girl, hook in the fingers and her her a twirl (if she complies) I'm gonna be honest with you. Pick up works. Day game and night game works. Routines work (when used properly), natural game work (when you project yourself as a fun and interesting person). I've used it, gotten mixed results, but real positive stuff. Have fun.

Author:	puaninja [ Mon Dec 03, 2012 12:25 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Why Do I keep Messing Up?
There's only two options. AFC, or Pick Up. AFC doesn't work for shit. Pick Up can work pretty well once you get good at it. There's also a third option, giving up. But I don't need to tell you how that works.

Author:	JHA91 [ Tue Dec 04, 2012 2:43 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Why Do I keep Messing Up?
Quote: What if a rocket scientist had your mentality? "I'd like to put rockets in space but there's way to much shit to remember--parabolic trajectories, Newtonian physics, yadda yadda yadda..." I know what you mean but at the same time, I dislike the reasoning that picking up girls is some sort of a science. I mean, it's not like you can account for all the variables in a given situation, for example it might be more appropriate to approach a girl in a social scene like a party or a club than in the workplace or something. To make the problem worse, I find myself in a lot of cliquey settings where everyone knows each other and its difficult to even leave your own social circle let alone talk to girls. Quote: I'm pretty sure that Mystery, Style, and all the other famous puas wouldn't write all that stuff about kino and ioi's if it was a load of bollocks. Have you seen this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nuceTz9gZRQ I maybe have a little more faith in Style, seeing that he is a cool confident guy with a pretty hot girl but it's hard to critique this thing because like I said, it's not a science, it's a set of unwritten rules. Also, most pick up literature is aimed at geeks who are not very confident but have loads of hobbies and creative endeavours, so they have lots to talk about. It's not aimed at ballsy guys like me who can't be bothered with most things and hardly have anything to talk about. I did try it out for a while by the way. Nowadays I just go straight in for the kill and don't bother with all the beating around the bush. Quote: Since you like the club areas, just come up with general "oh snap" questions that you can ask if you don't have anything. They work best if they're relevant to the environment or the people you're talking to (stuff like "hey, I think your dress is cool -- why'd you decide to wear it?", the key is to keep it light-hearted. And if for whatever reason they don't want you, noone but yourself is keeping you around. For example, this past weekend I went to a wedding for some friends I met in college, and my "oh snap" question was to ask people how they knew the bride and groom and go from there. I like the 'so how do you know X' snap question but I find I get negative responses if I comment (even positively) on something someone's wearing. Quote: The only rule I follow in pick up is: If you're not having fun, you're doing it wrong. Have fun. Relax. Basically all I do, is giving high 5's to the people all over the place. Sometimes I would high 5 a girl, hook in the fingers and her her a twirl (if she complies) Yeah I have fun, I do shit loads of crazy stunts, like this: "hey I faint after 5 seconds of speaking to an attractive lady" falls over flat on my back. Obviously that's not going to work but I don't always care if it does, I just want to have fun like you say. All I'm saying is it's not going anywhere.

Author:	-enjoi- [ Tue Dec 04, 2012 7:57 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Why Do I keep Messing Up?
Quote: Also, most pick up literature is aimed at geeks who are not very confident but have loads of hobbies and creative endeavours, so they have lots to talk about. It's not aimed at ballsy guys like me who can't be bothered with most things and hardly have anything to talk about. This makes absolutely no sense. Why would anyone be interested in you if you're not interesting. Maybe it's time to be bothered with things. Let me rephrase that. Maybe it's time to be interested in things and maybe.... oh i don't know... find girls that have similar interests. I've decided to post up some (non-geeky?) things that might interest you: snowboarding rock climbing cottaging cars and motors sky diving reading - you can try magazines since books probably scare you bmx-ing skateboarding team sports like soccer, football, hockey, basketball, baseball, ect learn to dance learn a different language try different restaurants - i visit a different one each week music join a band run marathons work out adopt a pet from a shelter volunteer in your community mentor a child get involved in a charitable organization paint or draw live comedy shows become a beer connoisseur go hiking watch popular tv shows take up martial arts if you really are model material, start modelling take up acting classes travel build wells for kids in africa - this can be very fulfilling learn to give massages not even kidding - do yoga. you will meet so many attractive women there. There. Now you have a full list of things that can interest you. There's tons more out there. And the best part about this? If you choose to be bothered with one of these things, you can talk to a girl who is bothered by them to.

Author:	JHA91 [ Tue Dec 04, 2012 1:35 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Why Do I keep Messing Up?
Hey I appreciate the advice even if it is somewhat sarcastic. Actually I have had lots of interests in the past, some of them are currently interests and some of them are on the list you put out as well. I have even travelled abroad many times. I love eating out by the way, especially if it is somewhere authentic. Been thinking about yoga actually. I just don't have the energy for most of them nowadays. But it is difficult to sustain a meaningful conversation with some girl about snowboarding, for example. Most of the conversation I prefer to engage in is laddish banter and far too sexist to be heard by female ears.

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Author:	Andre2807 [ Tue Dec 04, 2012 2:06 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Why Do I keep Messing Up?
Okay here's my tip with regards to conversations. Grab a good book, or two and start reading. Hell, go ahead and read 50 Shades of Grey if you want to learn how sexual women can be. The reason: Broaden your vocabulary. Tell funny stories. Pull out interesting things that will interest a woman. A good conversationalist can listen to her and then respond with something funny/interesting in the lines of what she said. A good conversationalist can also speak to a woman's senses. Hear, feel, smell, see. When you tell stories, awaken her senses. Take the following sentence: I like snowboarding. On first glance, this is interesting, short and well it demonstrates a bit of DHV. Depending on the type of girl. Now read this one: I went to Canada once with a bunch of friends to go snowboarding. The wind was cutting through my jacket like a thousand knives, it was absolutely freezing! I grabbed the board, got ready. I felt an energy, flowing through my body like nothing I ever felt before... pause Have you ever felt that way? In this instance you've mentioned: You travel, you have fun friends, you snowboard, you can handle extreme cold, you felt something, and now you're allowing her to feel the way you felt. That is powerful. If you can speak to her senses like a steamy book does, you'll be the most interesting man she's ever spent time with.