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First date after starting pickup. Need some feedback.
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Author:  Dinoz [ Sat Dec 01, 2012 3:39 pm ]
Post subject:  First date after starting pickup. Need some feedback.
Hi guys.
I just came back from the first date I've had since I started studying pickup last week.
I'm living in Japan and I went on a date with a very intelligent HB9+ hot chick.. I got her number at a festival last week.
Now, I made some progress, but I need to ask for some advice:

- I struggled with escalating. My mind is still 99% AFC, so I really struggled taking the initiative. I kept strong eye-contact, and she really liked that. After a while I started touching her hands, arms and hair. She really liked this, and I was very happy that I dared doing it - I've never done that on a date before. However, from there on I wasn't sure what to do. In Japan people usually sit over each other with a table in between, so I didn't know what to do - should I have gone over to the other side of the table where she was sitting and continue there? Or?
She was clearly into me, but I chickened out at the end / didn't know how to take it further, so we just left the coffee shop and parted ways. No K-close!

- We both live in dormitories, so I really don't know of a place to get intimate except love hotels. I wouldn't mind going to a love hotel, BUT my inner AFC screams in pain just by the thought of taking the initiative to go to such a place. What would you guys recommend to do in my situation? How can I overcome my fear of leading the girl to a hotel?

- I realized that I'm more afraid of rejection when on a date than when out in the street. If I get rejected by a girl during daygame, I can easily walk away. However, when on a date I can't, and this fear of rejection really hinders me from escalating better and faster.

- Simple question - after a date like this, what's a smart way to text afterwards? We both had fun, were both obviously into each other, but no one (read: me) took the initiative, resulting in no kissing / luv making.
I'm thinking of inviting her over to see a movie next week or something, but I'm really not sure how to make my next move.

All in all, I'm staying positive. Even though I have a long way to go, I learned a lot tonight - I managed to do some kinoing for the first time - awesome! I also learned a lot about my weaknesses, and that's a good thing too I believe, as long as I face them head on. Thank you guys so much for all your help - I'll keep on working hard!
Author:  upright619 [ Sat Dec 01, 2012 7:24 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: First date after starting pickup. Need some feedback.
Quote:
BUT my inner AFC screams in pain just by the thought of taking the initiative to go to such a place. What would you guys recommend to do in my situation?
Quiet parks, movies, Quiet libraries.
Quote:
How can I overcome my fear of leading the girl to a hotel?
Your date wants to do everything you tell her to, including taking her to a love hotel, just make her heavily invest in you. She will do this for you if you play your cards right.
Quote:
should I have gone over to the other side of the table where she was sitting and continue there? Or?
It isn't the end of the world if you don't go over to the other side, you can still end up sleeping with her without doing so. But yeah, you should've.
Quote:
what's a smart way to text afterwards?
Text her about anything that she laughed about during your date; an inside joke? Gossip about friends? An interesting story you might've told her?

I know I'm 2 months late, but how did your date at the movies with this girl go?
I just joined this forum, so if you posted about the date with this girl, I'm sorry about asking you to repeat yourself, I'll find the post myself.
Author:  Dinoz [ Sun Dec 02, 2012 11:20 am ]
Post subject:  Re: First date after starting pickup. Need some feedback.
Thank you very much for your reply.
However, I didn't understand your tip on taking her to quiet libraries etc. Maybe I misunderstood that one?
I guess my main issue is confidence while escalating and preparation in advance (is it possible to take her home? Are there any hotels nearby? etc.)
I think I really have to work on my inner game, I'm getting better at talking and approaching, but my inner game is still 100% AFC.
More tips and tricks would be appreciated :)

And about the movies date thing, you might have mistaken me for someone else? I've only been active her for about a week, and I haven't taken a girl out to the movies lately, hehe :)
Author:  upright619 [ Thu Dec 06, 2012 8:06 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: First date after starting pickup. Need some feedback.
You're very welcome.

About 'Quiet Libraries'. I follow the Mystery Method. You open, you build comfort, and then you f-close. I was with a Burmese girl once in my Physics class in College. I really wanted to lay her, I asked what subjects she was struggling with. She said Chemistry. I asked her to let me tutor her in the library. She said yes. We had just 1 session of me leading and being a man. She quietly followed and learnt chemistry from me. The next session was studying, but in my bedroom. I ended up making out with her thanks to that library session. Maybe you can ask her to critique your Japanese and you can do the same for her English at a quiet library? It's a very very good comfort builder.

Everyone has anxiety, it's the ones of us who learn to control it that makes us stand out and prosper.
Best of luck and keep on posting.
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