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Another Ex Problem
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Author:  EuroCHarmer89 [ Mon Nov 26, 2012 10:06 pm ]
Post subject:  Another Ex Problem

I broke up officially with an off-and-on girl of 3 years about 2 months ago now. Her shit just got way through the roof, and as much as I cared about her, and still do, the relationship was just over. Gave her her stuff back and said I couldn't do it anymore. Tried to be friends, but she wouldn't have it. She told me she didn't want to see me, and that we needed a break from eachother because she was sick of all the fighting.

I want her in my life again. She's a sweet girl. Just a shitty girlfriend. I can tell her feelings are still there, and I know I can seduce her easily if I was with her. But she's continuously ignoring me, no contact at all, for 2 months now. So I'm doing my own thing, going to College, and freezing her out. I'm doing everything I can not to give the impression that I need her/miss her/give a fuck, and have no hard feeling. Not acting like an AFC. Living my life contently. Still no word from her though.

She won't leave my friends or family alone. Ever. (I've posted a previous topic on women never leaving my social circle after a break up, and this girl is one of them). My best friend and my sister hang out with this girl all the time, and they both know it pisses me off, but neither of them care.

I'm not the most patient person in the world, which could be a big reason why this is bugging me. Along with an unfortunate case of one-itis. Do I just keep trucking forward, and wait this out? (I refuse to contact her first since she instigated the "break from eachother". I'm waiting on her.) I just need some advice. Any advice would help...

My guess: she's trying to "force" the feelings away. Which from what I've learned in women, is impossible.

Author:  smashthecrash [ Tue Nov 27, 2012 12:50 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Another Ex Problem

Solution to pretty much every ex problem here.

1. No contact. Seriously.
2. Read the Ex2System. My ex broke up with me and wanted to be "just friends", three months later I turned her into a regular fuck buddy, where she currently resides. We've actually been fuck buddies longer than we actually dated. Funny story.

Author:  EuroCHarmer89 [ Tue Nov 27, 2012 11:01 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Another Ex Problem

Same with this girl, funny enough. We also were fuck buddies longer than we dated. I think her problem is she's pissed that I don't want more. And I'm not sure how to fix that, except to freeze her out and get her to miss me

Author:  smashthecrash [ Wed Nov 28, 2012 1:15 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Another Ex Problem

Okay, I gave this a serious re-read... 3 years off and on huh...

What exactly do you want from her? It's highly unlikely any "just friends" arrangement will work, since if the attraction remains you two will be fucking sooner or later. Trust me on this one... LTRs often begin as fuck buddies, and usually after a breakup you remain FWB. The fact that your relationship with her is off-and-on for 3 years shows that at least one of you is not committed to making a real relationship work, it seems YOU in this case. I'm going to go on a limb here and guess that you initiated the breakups? Also, how old are you both?

Yeah, she's integrated into your friends and family, but what did you expect? Know that with this time frame, it's nearly impossible to transition to any kind of friendship, because of the connection the two of you had for so long. Why do you think she's gone NC with you? She wants those feelings to go away. Any contact with you at all is counterproductive to that.

You want some honest advice? Let her go. Seriously, she wants more, you don't (except a casual lay/friend I suppose), so the more you interact with her, the harder you're making it for her to move on. The girl I used an as example sounds like your girl, except you are the ex that won't let her go. She wants to get married and have kids with the guy, and he just wants her around for the friendship and sex. He gets into relationships with other women, goes NC with her, then begs for forgiveness every time he gets dumped (counting thrice now - going on three years). It's almost agonizing watching her go through these cycles, just because this guy can't let her go. He just wants to "keep her in his life", all the while her other relationships fail and her life goes to shit on the hope that he takes her back.

Be the bigger man, respect her wishes, and

Just. Let. Go.

You can't stop your friends/family from hanging out with her, and she probably wants their support to get over you. You made the bed, now sleep in it. Suck it up, and stick to no contact. Try that for 6 months and then see how you feel. Get into a new relationship with another woman, and see if you still want to keep this one around. Most importantly, let her date other people too.

Author:  darrryll [ Wed Nov 28, 2012 10:00 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Another Ex Problem

what's this ex2system about? any quick summary's?

Author:  smashthecrash [ Wed Nov 28, 2012 11:24 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Another Ex Problem

It's basically just to get help a guy get over being dumped, and some guidelines to take if you want to get back with her.

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