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| re-kindling old flame (ex gf) Q's https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=151354 |
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| Author: | silar [ Sun Nov 25, 2012 5:24 pm ] |
| Post subject: | re-kindling old flame (ex gf) Q's |
sup guys, This is my first new thread here. I've rifled through the forums a bit looking for something similar to my situation but wasn't able to dig up anything...so here it goes. I broke up with my gf of 4 years, 2 weeks ago. [I'll call her EX1] (1 year of which was LD and shouldn't have happened anyway). A couple weeks later I bumped into another prior ex at a party [I'll call her EX2] that I haven't spoken too since I ended it with her about 4 years ago shortly before EX1. EX2 and I had a pleasant ~10m conversation, then I spent the rest of the time re-connecting with friends I hadn't seen in a long time. When she left she said bye w/ hug. I added her on FB and she accepted my friend request. I'm curious about rekindling things w/ her because of all the typical reasons. I messaged her on fb friday with: "<name>, You seem like there may potentially be more to you than just another pretty face...are you single? whats your phone number? we should get a drink or and catchup." today is Sunday, no reply. Finally onto my question... do I just go NC until she replies? try again in a week? any tips/advice for arranging a meetup? I just find it odd she would be cool in person, accept friend request, then go no reply. Is she making me sweat it out to punish me for breaking up with her before? or perhaps she was just being polite with the friend accept and good convo. -silar |
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| Author: | smashthecrash [ Sun Nov 25, 2012 6:36 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: re-kindling old flame (ex gf) Q's |
You might have been a bit too forward with your message, asking if she was single and for her phone number. If she knows you just came out of a breakup, you might also be coming across a bit desperate. I would just take the mindset of abundance, and let it be at that. If she's not interested in reconnecting, then she won't message back. Simple as that. Personally, I don't think you should contact your exs unless you want something. To get back together, maybe just a hookup, whatever, and she probably knows this. She also might be having second thoughts about being more than polite with you, depending on how your relationship ended. So yes, don't contact her again until she contacts you. You've already shown a great deal of interest, and the ball is in her court now. |
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| Author: | silar [ Sun Nov 25, 2012 6:47 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: re-kindling old flame (ex gf) Q's |
shit...she just replied with "There is so much more. I am very single. I don't do seconds. <3, " zing! guess that's that...what do I even reply to that with? |
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| Author: | smashthecrash [ Sun Nov 25, 2012 7:09 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: re-kindling old flame (ex gf) Q's |
Well those first two lines are very good for you! The third might just be a shit-test. Like she doesn't want to just be a rebound. Since she said "There is so much more" you may want to start a conversation based on that. Sort of like get to know each other again, and catch up. Don't come off like you just want to use her for sex or anything, but you definitely have some sort of green light to keep up the interaction. As for a specific reply, I'd defer to one of the more experienced PUAs on here. |
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| Author: | silar [ Sun Nov 25, 2012 8:35 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: re-kindling old flame (ex gf) Q's |
firstly, thanks a lot for the feedback smashthecrash. yeah I'm thinking it's that she may want me to chase her a bit. Great idea with honing in on "there is so much more" I'm thinking of replying with something like.. "there is so much more eh? I don't believe it.. we should hang out (as friends) to find out" thoughts? |
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| Author: | smashthecrash [ Sun Nov 25, 2012 9:15 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: re-kindling old flame (ex gf) Q's |
You seem a bit too eager in this situation. How long did she take to reply to your original message? Use that as a time frame to gather your thoughts into a good reply. Treat it almost as a new game entirely. When you suggest a meet up, insist that it is as friends and you'd want to catch up and get to know each other better. Doing this in a group setting, inviting her along to some already awesome plans you have is probably best. Get something concrete, not abstract. I wouldn't reply with anything just yet. You pushed for a meet up already, and she didn't agree to anything or seem too interested. You COULD try and build some more rapport through text/fb conversation, but don't be so vague "let's catch up for drinks sometime" sounds pretty beta and a little desperate. You've got to make her invest a little, find out about this "much more" and see if there's something in common you can do together. In the meantime, give the Ex2System "How to get your ex back" stuff a read. Follow the three C's - cheap, convenient, and conversation. You don't want this meet up to seem like a date, just two old friends catching up and doing something fun together. Something that allows for conversation to occur. |
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| Author: | silar [ Sun Nov 25, 2012 9:58 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: re-kindling old flame (ex gf) Q's |
She took about 2 days to reply to my initial contact. I just picked up the EX2 system and I'll be giving that a read in the mean time before I attempt to contact her again (thanks for the recommendation). I think it's a good idea that my next message should be more neutral to build rapport before trying for a "meet up close." If our next contact goes well, I'll suggest we get a cup coffee to hang out, sounds more innocuous... thoughts? |
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