Quote: Ok, I have sorted one problem out on here..lets try the next.
I'm 25...
I am on a course...
There are 12 of us..(11 guys, 1 girl)
I have already positioned my self as a dominant character in the group and have established a good connection with the girl..
So, basically, come Monday, I am just going to be straight with her..Would you suggest doing it in front of people or single her out...it is quite hard to get her on her own because the rest of the course is full of guys trying to snake in!
it seems like you are turning this into some defineing moment of truth, ''A BIG DEAL''
a statement that will make or break you... don't do that man, don't look for a specific reaction or be trying to get something from the girl, just make it clear you have intentions to get with the girl, don't expect anything in return or be trying to push her to a reaction, she should already know you like her, flirt with her and don't turn it into a MAKE OR BREAK rejection is forever!! type deal
that sort of thing just makes girls skittish and and overwhelmed because when it is important to you, they see the stars in your eyes and think you want to marry them or something, keep it casual, being comfortable with your sexuality and hitting on girls is no big deal, it's not some make or break you moment, just start flirting and be shameless and consistently test her boundries and escalate them further until you guys are fooling around together or she has made it clear that she is not interested in that way, it's one or the other and you want to find out which it is so you can make clear decisions before emotions get involved
Quote: Anyway, I don't mind doing it in front of people...in fact for some reason I would prefer to, but how do I go about opening that one up!?
I did think of this one if I get her alone-ish
Me: "I don't think Dan likes me much"
Her: "Why not?"
Me "Because I think he can tell I have a massive crush on you!"
the issue i have with that is i don't want her to think Dan might like her... Dan is my biggest competition...
Any suggestions/tips??
don't talk about dan, don't bring attention to things you don't need to bring attention to
''HEY BECKY, THAT OTHER GUY LIKES YOU, AND ME TOO!! : D *waits for her to respond* WHAT DO YA THINK OF THAT HUH? ; D''
like what do you expect to happen from ^ the above? a huge bunch of fire works to go off and confetti sprays everywhere?
no.. don't do that, forget about that other guy or that ''WHAT DO YA THINK OF THAT HUH?! ; D'' MOMENT
shift it back and fourth, between interest, to being normal and socializing, to teasing, to normal, over and over, no pressure on her, no make or break moment, no what do you think of that? remain indifferent to what she thinks of that, just fun and flirting, and teasing and talking and touching, no I NEED TO KNOW.... DO YOU LIKE ME? moment, no moment of justice, just flirting with her for the sake of flirting cause it's fun, if she doesn't get uncomfortable and starts flirting back... she likes you, from that point it is just creating good logistics and putting your mouth on her mouth and moving your tounge around inside there for a little tounge fight...
no point where you say XYZ, AND THAT'S THE MOMENT!!, IM GONNA DO IT GUYS, GONNA SAY XYZ, EITHER SHE LIKES ME... OR MY LIFE IS OVER... no, none of that, just flirt around and hit on her like it's no big deal, try to get her alone and have sex with her, she should be aware of what you are trying to do without you explicitly having to be like, I AM GETTING YOU ALONE NOW FOR SEX or... I REALLY LIKE YOU AND WANT TO KNOW IF YOU LIKE ME THE SAME WAY AND MAYBE.... JUST MAYBE... WE COULD BE SPECIAL TO EACH OTHER AND GET MARRIED CAUSE YOU ARE ULTRA SPECIAL!!! ;D, DO YOU LOVE ME NOW?  ??
basically this sort of thing just subcommunicates:
YOU ARE REALLY IMPORTANT TO ME, THIS IS A BIG DEAL CAUSE I DON'T DO THIS MUCH, it shows you are not confident about what you are doing because instead of just trying to SHOW her you like her by testing out her physical boundries and trying to kiss her and flirt or trying to get her somewhere that you two can fool around, you are just trying to create a moment were she takes responsiblity and does that to you instead, you are looking for that moment where you can give her control and get her to flirt with you and try to kiss you and give you the thumbs up that it's ok, but there is no moment like that, she either lets you do it or she doesn't let you do it
you are just trying to make her responsible, you are trying to create that moment where you can get off the hook and just be like, I LIKE YOU!, after a time period of this not being the norm, and just be like... OK, SEX NOW? YOU READY NOW? YOU LIKE ME TOO?
^ now it's her fault, her descision, the pressure is on her, it's now a breaking point that she has to take responsiblity for
you don't want that pressure on her and create that breaking point, light and casual, and if you are going to do it in front of people, then it has to be framed as socially acceptable (a la ''no big deal''), if the group is cool with it and no one is judged cause it is the ''ok'' thing in the group, then it is fine, for that to be the case you have to be secure within yourself, if you are not secure and confident about what you are doing, then probably not a good idea to deliver this under social pressure because you will crumble, react and have a new post about OMFG someone said some words!!! and I didn't know what to do? WHAT DO I DO?!!
instead of, someone said some words... I was like... this is normal, and it was no big deal, and we talked after that and a fun time was had by all...
it's more like, hey, ''BECKY... HOLY SHIT YOU ARE SMOKING HOT TODAY, PUT SOME MORE CLOTHES ON, MY GOD YOU'RE GOING TO KILL ME WITH A HEART ATTACK''
becky: what?... (sort of looks weirded out cause you haven't spoken like this to her before)
you: what?... lets go get food, what is there around here to eat?
blah blah blah (normal)
blah blah blah (flirt)
blah blah blah (normal)
etc. no MOMENT, just make it ''no big deal'' like it's just another day at the office, she's aware you're hitting on her and giving her attention, but nothing is expected of her, and you just gradually keep testing more and more what she will allow and what she is comfortable with
GOOD LUCK
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She had been flirting with me all week and then Friday came and she was being weird and avoiding me. I think that i wasn't really responding to her flirting enough (being a pu**y) aha so the issue now is that i need to regain some interest as well as tell her straight....all fun!