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Losing interest?
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Author:  Andre2807 [ Tue Nov 13, 2012 6:51 am ]
Post subject:  Losing interest?
After meeting a decent girl, kiss closing on a day two... Coffee at her house turned rather sexual last thursday... good kino escalation... After that, she text me to say that we should take things slower. After that, she stopped texting me first... Her investment is extremely low and it seems as if she is slipping. We haven't seen each other since, but I don't want to push for another meet any time soon.

Note: She likes me a lot, but just came out of a hurtful relationship. She has a son, and don't want to use me as a rebound guy.

What is your guys opinion?
Author:  eforio [ Tue Nov 13, 2012 7:49 am ]
Post subject: 
I can give you my opinion.

Here is what you can do... First feel it out, from what you said, it seems that she is slipping away even though she was interested and you are pretty sure for the reason... Am I right so far?

Assuming, that I am you can do the following. BTW I have no idea when the last time you communicated was (text, phn, etc..) nor your background and what she knows of it. This makes a big difference. Now if you have not communicated and you still think there is something there, try this:

1. Text her and tell her that you really liked here but your no longer available (make up excuse, ex gf is back, your emotionally not ready/rebounding, etc...)
2. Tell her that you felt a connection with her, but since timing is not good for you maybe you can be just friends
3. When you are communicating this to her make sure you come across really friendly, caring, and comfortable. Like your there for her emotionally but not available sexually.

So whats next:
1. Ideally she will seek you out to 'hang out'
2. When you hang out you build comfort and do a lot of kino
3. Push and Pull sexually, dont be easy but make her wonder
4. When you have peaked her interest, 'hang out' in the right environment so something can happen...
Author:  Andre2807 [ Tue Nov 13, 2012 8:13 am ]
Post subject: 
From what I see, I think she wants to be Friends with Benefits. After the whole sexual encounter, she said "I like where this is going, but I don't want to hurt you. I don't want you to be Mr Rebound. I like you too much. Hehe" via text
Author:  Stig34 [ Tue Nov 13, 2012 12:54 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I can give you my opinion.

Here is what you can do... First feel it out, from what you said, it seems that she is slipping away even though she was interested and you are pretty sure for the reason... Am I right so far?

Assuming, that I am you can do the following. BTW I have no idea when the last time you communicated was (text, phn, etc..) nor your background and what she knows of it. This makes a big difference. Now if you have not communicated and you still think there is something there, try this:

1. Text her and tell her that you really liked here but your no longer available (make up excuse, ex gf is back, your emotionally not ready/rebounding, etc...)
2. Tell her that you felt a connection with her, but since timing is not good for you maybe you can be just friends
3. When you are communicating this to her make sure you come across really friendly, caring, and comfortable. Like your there for her emotionally but not available sexually.

So whats next:
1. Ideally she will seek you out to 'hang out'
2. When you hang out you build comfort and do a lot of kino
3. Push and Pull sexually, dont be easy but make her wonder
4. When you have peaked her interest, 'hang out' in the right environment so something can happen...
^^^^ I agree with what eforio said above. Keep your options open and create interest at the same time. Taking a break from her can cause her to seek you out. Think how crazy you feel when she doesn't contact you, flip the tables. Also making sure you have other options(other girls) helps keep things in perspective and has the added benefit of helping you make sure you like her for her and not out of pride or attention that your not getting from anywhere else.
Quote:
From what I see, I think she wants to be Friends with Benefits. After the whole sexual encounter, she said "I like where this is going, but I don't want to hurt you. I don't want you to be Mr Rebound. I like you too much. Hehe" via text
In my opinion she's keeping her options open. Perhaps someone else is drawing her attention and she doesn't want to commit to you till she's figured out how she feels. Best bet is to give her some space and see how she reacts, throwing yourself out there too much is going to come off as needy.
Author:  Andre2807 [ Tue Nov 13, 2012 1:29 pm ]
Post subject: 
We seem to have made progress. It doesn't seem like she is losing interest. Her interest is high, because she invests quite a lot during texting. Replies quickly. I tease her, and we have lots of banter, inside jokes and call back humor. She always baits my challenges. She even suggested that I should be ready (have protection) because she isn't taking anything to avoid pregancy.

I think my major issue is that she likes me a lot, but isn't ready for a serious relationship. And I have no idea what to do. I know that I should not be needy or clingy... more than that... I feel like cameleon on a rainbow.
Author:  Stig34 [ Tue Nov 13, 2012 1:49 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Here's the major issues
1) She's got a kid of 2 years old
2) The father of the kid left her
3) Just came out of another relationship a month ago

I think she is scared of committing, because her previous bf's used her.
I'm no expert and I haven't had much experience with girls going cold on me. It's happened only twice in my life and both times it's because of a combination of me being too available and someone else gaining their interest. I always found out because when they backed off I did as well while keeping it friendly. It garnered interest back and the fact that I was confident and working other girls made them very honest with me. I managed to gain there interest back, but they had lost mine and they became exclusively sexual relationships as that's as far as I was willing to engage them in.

One other thing I'll mention is that every woman who wanted an exclusively sexual relationship was straight forward with me. Since they knew what they wanted and knew what as a man I probably wanted, put it out there for me in a very clear way. IE: I think your hot, but I'm not feeling a relationship with you except an exclusively physical one.(insert various reason as to why I'm not boyfriend material here.)

Again I'm no expert just telling you what I've run into and how it turned out. Another thing I'll add is when women feel used or discarded they tend to become clingy not distant. Logically you have to realize she was hot in the beginning despite her circumstance and then got gold, so in my opinion something had to change for her. Either you did something that changed her mind about you or something else has. Just my two cents.
Author:  Andre2807 [ Tue Nov 13, 2012 2:11 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thank you. I appreciate your input. If you want, I can PM you my progress.
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