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eye contact tricks?
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Author:  skybox [ Fri Nov 09, 2012 1:52 am ]
Post subject:  eye contact tricks?
The Date
So I went on this date with this pretty girl. Conversation came easily and I was able to make her laugh. Things went well except I could have added more sexual innuendos and physical contact. It went well enough though that we're going out again. I did some text flirting to let her know I'm a sexual being and that I'm interested in being more than friends, and to make up for the sexual innuendos I didn't do during the date. We're going out again next week.

The Dilemma
We had dinner and we sat across from each. She only made eye contact probably less than 50% of the time. Do you know of any tips to encourage a girl to look you in the eyes? I'm thinking of any tricks you might know besides just calling her out on it. I think if she made more eye contact with me then it would accelerate the closeness she feels with me and the interaction would be a lot more intimate.[/u]
Author:  Beast 45 [ Fri Nov 09, 2012 4:18 am ]
Post subject: 
Tricks? You don't need tricks just look in her eyes and let the silence linger. If she is into you then she will keep the contact, if she is not into you... well.. I think that's that.
Author:  Mr. Assertive [ Fri Nov 09, 2012 4:36 am ]
Post subject: 
I personally would have teased her about it. I would have something like "you are fidgety" or "I know I am that good looking that you can't look at me in the eye, might get your panties wet"... but I am a cocky bastard so I come off as congruent with it. Next time address the issue.
Author:  skybox [ Fri Nov 09, 2012 5:54 am ]
Post subject: 
I was looking her in the eyes, but she would only look me in the eyes at times. I think she's just the shy. The interaction was actually great, but if the eye contact was there it would have been even better.

Maybe I should have called her out on it. She seems pretty shy though. It's like she's afraid of any situation that could become akward, but of course I don't let it get akward. Thanks for the advice so far.
Author:  andyredsox [ Fri Nov 09, 2012 7:48 am ]
Post subject: 
Keep eyecontact with her and yes- tease her if she's not doing it. But there's no trick for making a girl maintain an eye contact. Just make her feel comfortable..
Author:  Mr. Assertive [ Fri Nov 09, 2012 8:46 am ]
Post subject: 
Teasing her and showing her that you don't take yourself too seriously will create comfort. This relieve the pressure off you and especially her.
Author:  Thessius [ Fri Nov 09, 2012 3:18 pm ]
Post subject: 
No, do not call her out on it. If she's a shy girl, it will only make the situation awkward for her. Try this out: Next time you go out with her to a restaurant/bar, make sure you're the first one to take a seat. Wait for her to take a seat herself (which will most likely be across from you), and when she does, throw out this bit in a playful way - "Hey, this isn't a job interview! Come sit next to me!" This does two things: 1) it should make her laugh. 2) It gives you an opportunity to go kino whenever/however much you want to throughout the date. Also, if you go kino, she's more likely to give eye contact because if you do it right, it'll escalate things. Goodluck!
Author:  Snarg [ Fri Nov 09, 2012 3:29 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
No, do not call her out on it. If she's a shy girl, it will only make the situation awkward for her. Try this out: Next time you go out with her to a restaurant/bar, make sure you're the first one to take a seat. Wait for her to take a seat herself (which will most likely be across from you), and when she does, throw out this bit in a playful way - "Hey, this isn't a job interview! Come sit next to me!" This does two things: 1) it should make her laugh. 2) It gives you an opportunity to go kino whenever/however much you want to throughout the date. Also, if you go kino, she's more likely to give eye contact because if you do it right, it'll escalate things. Goodluck!
I like that a lot. I've never even thought of that before. Nice!
Author:  HeavyRota8tion [ Fri Nov 09, 2012 4:05 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Tricks? You don't need tricks just look in her eyes and let the silence linger. If she is into you then she will keep the contact, if she is not into you... well.. I think that's that.
Not true at all. Some girls are inherently shy so will break contact.
Author:  Snarg [ Fri Nov 09, 2012 5:15 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
Tricks? You don't need tricks just look in her eyes and let the silence linger. If she is into you then she will keep the contact, if she is not into you... well.. I think that's that.
Not true at all. Some girls are inherently shy so will break contact.
Absolutely. In fact, a girl breaking eye contact can sometimes be seen as a show of interest just as much as maintaining eye contact can. You'll be able to see in her face if she's thinking "Holy shit, look how hot that guy is and he just looked at me".
Author:  doru [ Fri Nov 09, 2012 6:08 pm ]
Post subject: 
What's your stance like? Eye contact is only a portion of non-verbal communication and body language. Think of how you're presenting yourself as a whole... is it inviting someone to look at you? Do you look at ease? Or are you stiff and looking at her like she's interviewing for a job?

A good rule of thumb is to mimic her body language, unless, of course, she's nervous.

A good quick-fix is to sit relaxed while sitting big. Sit like Don Draper. Look non-confrontational, but take up space and command her visual field.
Image
Author:  puaninja [ Fri Nov 09, 2012 6:09 pm ]
Post subject: 
Some girls don't like staring into your eyes. It's not even about shyness, it's just a matter of comfort. That shouldn't be a big deal, I mean, what are you trying to do, eye fuck her? Let her stare at spots on the ceiling for all you care.

In my AFC days I discovered having the girl sit next to me in a booth by accident. I always thought booths were more comfortable than tables, and I don't like people watching me as I eat, especially women. But then once they are sitting next to you it's like Kino City! This HB8 I met over the summer went on a date with me and we sat in the booth and within five minutes of sitting down her leg was draped over my lap and she was leaning back all relaxed while I caressed her thigh with my hand. Five mintues bro. Within five minutes I knew I'd be f-closing. And I did of course.
Author:  skybox [ Sat Nov 10, 2012 6:51 pm ]
Post subject: 
I totally F'd up on this one. We sat across from each other and she would lean back in her seat while I caught myself leaning forward in interest. I'd back off and lean back and relax....... and then catch myself learning forward in interest again! I know what to do, but my body language would takeover sometimes and fuck me up haha. We're going on a second date though, so I guess things were not bad.

The perception I get is that the guys she has gone out with are not a baus! and that she fears awkward moments because she's been in them with guys before (who do not know how to deal it). I think I'm doing well with what she's given me to work with.

Thanks for the reminder Doru!
Quote:
What's your stance like? Eye contact is only a portion of non-verbal communication and body language. Think of how you're presenting yourself as a whole... is it inviting someone to look at you? Do you look at ease? Or are you stiff and looking at her like she's interviewing for a job?

A good rule of thumb is to mimic her body language, unless, of course, she's nervous.

A good quick-fix is to sit relaxed while sitting big. Sit like Don Draper. Look non-confrontational, but take up space and command her visual field.
Author:  skybox [ Sat Nov 10, 2012 6:55 pm ]
Post subject: 
Back in the day I went out with this girl and we sat at the bar (side by side) and the date was a fail, but that was also when I didn't know as much as I know now. So with this new girl I made sure to get a table so we could sit across from each other. I see your point though about sitting side by side. I'll definitely try that next time. It would probably work better with this girl anyways since she doesn't maintain much eye contact anyways.

Thanks Puaninja.
Quote:
Some girls don't like staring into your eyes. It's not even about shyness, it's just a matter of comfort. That shouldn't be a big deal, I mean, what are you trying to do, eye fuck her? Let her stare at spots on the ceiling for all you care.

In my AFC days I discovered having the girl sit next to me in a booth by accident. I always thought booths were more comfortable than tables, and I don't like people watching me as I eat, especially women. But then once they are sitting next to you it's like Kino City! This HB8 I met over the summer went on a date with me and we sat in the booth and within five minutes of sitting down her leg was draped over my lap and she was leaning back all relaxed while I caressed her thigh with my hand. Five mintues bro. Within five minutes I knew I'd be f-closing. And I did of course.
Author:  skybox [ Sat Nov 10, 2012 6:59 pm ]
Post subject: 
NICE! That is what I meant by tricks....like a few lines or something that will promote something positive. Not that my game is scripted (and I'm not a believer in scripted PU), BUT, it's nice to have a few tricks like this up my sleeve for when certain situtations come up. Not exactly what I was looking for because it doesn't address the eye contact, but it provides an alternative which is probably even better! Especially with this girl

Thanks Thessius!
Quote:
No, do not call her out on it. If she's a shy girl, it will only make the situation awkward for her. Try this out: Next time you go out with her to a restaurant/bar, make sure you're the first one to take a seat. Wait for her to take a seat herself (which will most likely be across from you), and when she does, throw out this bit in a playful way - "Hey, this isn't a job interview! Come sit next to me!" This does two things: 1) it should make her laugh. 2) It gives you an opportunity to go kino whenever/however much you want to throughout the date. Also, if you go kino, she's more likely to give eye contact because if you do it right, it'll escalate things. Goodluck!
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