| PUA Forum https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/ |
|
| Said things I regret - she needs time now https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=150039 |
Page 1 of 1 |
| Author: | zatbe [ Tue Nov 06, 2012 6:34 am ] |
| Post subject: | Said things I regret - she needs time now |
I met a girl three weeks ago, had excellent two dates before I went off on vacation and kept texting 2-3x per day. She was mostly the one initiating contact and was very interested. That was until one night when things got out of hand, I was tired and unfortunately said things that hurt her and I regret. She tells me that whilst I did say nice things, I hurt her in what I said. My error was to try to push her and it really backfired pretty bad. She still sends me messages but does not want to see me yet as she says she needs time to get over this and that we will talk about all of this at another time. This is coming from a girl who before couldn't wait to see me again. She says that this week she just has too many emotions and needs things to cool down and to get over criticism. She has come out of a hard relationship 10 months ago and does seem quite confused as to whether she wants to do anything with anyone. If I give her time, is there a chance she could realistically want to see me again, or is this a case of just moving on ? If I should give her time, how much time is too little/too much ? Thanks. |
|
| Author: | vicparkguy83 [ Tue Nov 06, 2012 6:58 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Dunno what ya said but she still texts you so can't be THAT bad. I've done this hundreds of times, pushed the envelope too far and they took a big step back. Mostly it's boom game over buddy, but sometimes you can get her back but it can be a long hard road, just hang in there and don't do anything stupid. |
|
| Author: | zatbe [ Tue Nov 06, 2012 7:25 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
The situation was that she kept saying that she was afraid of hurting herself and hurting if we did get more serious, as she's still being harassed by her ex-husband. I told her to forget about the possibilities of getting hurt and to ignore douches like that guy. Basically I went too far and said that if she doesn't go out and do things she will regret it later on in her life. She still contacts me to say hi and sends some sweet messages. But inviting her for a drink got me the response "I'm still hurt and don't want to go out this week. We will see each other and talk when I feel better." Before I had that chat with her, she really wanted to see me asap and kept telling me how she appreciated me and wanted me in her life. Should I freeze her out or send a message at the end of the week seeing how she is doing. She seems very fragile and maybe not seeing me is a way for her to ignore her worries and commitment fears. |
|
| Author: | The Dice [ Tue Nov 06, 2012 9:09 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Quote: She still contacts me to say hi and sends some sweet messages. But inviting her for a drink got me the response "I'm still hurt and don't want to go out this week. We will see each other and talk when I feel better."
Tread carefully. When she says things like this, even though it might not be her intention, she is trying to make you chase her. Doing so will make you come across as needy and will eventually kill attraction. She is putting everything into her own frame "We will see each other and talk when I say it's OK, because I am the one in charge." Now, it's not like you can MAKE her go out with you.. Not legally anyway. So you should state that this kind of behaviour is unacceptable by using a Soft Next.
|
|
| Author: | Hazard84 [ Tue Nov 06, 2012 11:14 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
I agree, she is stealing the frame. Text her, that you understand her feelings and wont contact her for a while. Then do as you say. No text, no word, no everything. After some time, when you are in a very good mood, write her about the great party you are on, or whatever you do SPAM. Start new from there. |
|
| Author: | The Dice [ Tue Nov 06, 2012 11:26 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Quote: I agree, she is stealing the frame. Text her, that you understand her feelings and wont contact her for a while. Then do as you say. No text, no word, no everything. After some time, when you are in a very good mood, write her about the great party you are on, or whatever you do SPAM.
Not exactly what I meant. Take a look at this. 1-vt125554.html?start=0
Start new from there. |
|
| Author: | Hazard84 [ Tue Nov 06, 2012 1:25 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
This guy is not in a relationship, he is in the pickup phase. If he would seriously think about a relationship with this drama queen I would tell him to GTFO ASAP. I did that mistake, never again. |
|
| Author: | The Dice [ Wed Nov 07, 2012 7:23 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
The Soft Next isn't relationships ONLY material. It's mostly about setting a frame that you are in control and not letting her go about and what ever she wants. If used correctly, it can still be very powerful despite that this is an early pick up phase. |
|
| Author: | zatbe [ Fri Nov 09, 2012 4:38 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Well I've been soft nexting her for 4 days now and still no news from her end. I'm actually starting to wonder whether she will reply or not. Good news is, the one-itis I had developed for her is dying at this point. Let's say she doesn't reply in the next days/week, how long should I continue soft nexting ? There is a chance I could potentially bump into her on a weekend (have mutual friends), therefore perhaps leaving contact until meeting her again in person is best ? |
|
| Page 1 of 1 | All times are UTC |
| Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group http://www.phpbb.com/ |
|