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approach anxiety
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=150029		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  love legend [ Tue Nov 06, 2012 3:46 am ]
Post subject:  approach anxiety
so im new at thi kind of art, still learing and reading, but i find it hard to apply what i learn when i go out, i do not know how to push myself and do it no matter what happens, i thought about taking somefriends with me to help me pickup some girls, but they wont do it, thinking that am silly and things like that,

so if u can give m any advice on how to push myself and approach, that would be very helpfull thanks
:)
Author:  sneakyjohn007 [ Tue Nov 06, 2012 3:49 am ]
Post subject: 
Do the newbie mission!
Author:  love legend [ Tue Nov 06, 2012 4:49 am ]
Post subject: 
i know
but i do not have the guts to do it :(
am a really shy guy :oops:
Author:  bundy [ Tue Nov 06, 2012 5:50 am ]
Post subject: 
stop being a motherfucking pussy. pretty sure i saw you were 16, you have nothing to lose and so much time ahead of you. if you start now you will be golden in your later years. heres how i got over my AA: who cares if this girl doesnt want to fuck me? there are plenty of girls i dont want to fuck, should all of those girls forever be scared to talk to guys because they know some wont want to fuck them? hell no, thatd be ridiculous. if this girl shoots me down, does it ACTUALLY adversely affect my life? fuck no, it actually if anything will help me.

if i ever get in my head about approaching i just tell myself how i am being such a pussy, and getting nervous over talking to a girl, aka a walking vagina. being a pussy about pussy?! cut that shit out! just sack up and APPROACH, you will quickly experience that its quite easy and not so scary, and as you get more confident youll actually begin to like it and get better at it. if you are here people can give you tips and advice, but if you actually want to make a change in your life its on YOU and you alone to take the actual action.
Author:  kasabi [ Tue Nov 06, 2012 6:08 am ]
Post subject: 
Write down all the things in your life that gives you anxiety.

Write down all the things in your life that you do well without any anxiety at all.

Compare the two things in your list. Let us know what you discover.
Author:  love legend [ Tue Nov 06, 2012 7:06 am ]
Post subject: 
k guys, i will
and am gonna stop being such a pussyyy
thank guys
that is the kind of motivation i needed :)
Author:  Behr [ Tue Nov 06, 2012 7:18 am ]
Post subject: 
Yep Messy. Sometimes Fear and intimidation is the best motivation. I agree with bundy even though it sounds harsh. If you don't build up the courage to talk to girls how will you ever sleep with them?? Forget about your friends this is all you. I love solo approaches.

Find scripted routine openers and try them until you build your confidence.
Author:  love legend [ Tue Nov 06, 2012 8:22 am ]
Post subject: 
yup im gonna do the HW u gave me and
im currently reading the game by Neil then i will read the mystery method to improve my game, it also really hard to practice nightgames cause i can not go to most of the clubs, cause i told some friends of mine about PUA and attracting women books but they laughed at me and said i should not read that crap, it does not work and that im still 16, too young, i should wait but i did not give a fuk
so yeah i will do my best i have about 6 books in picking up women and hopefully, i will learn in the future and become a great PUA. :) :)
Author:  The Dice [ Tue Nov 06, 2012 9:57 am ]
Post subject: 
Copy-pasting this from a reply I made earlier to the same problem:

AA is quite the bitch. The only way to get over AA is to approach. There's a lot of guides, self hypnosis etc. as to how you can get over your AA, the only useful thing I've gotten from those is the rationalizing of it.

First of all, a huge part of AA is the belief that "She'll probably think I'm a wierdo for approaching." Truth of it is, most women don't. But what you need to realize is that even if they do, does it really matter?

I don't remember his name now, but there was a PU Guru that had sent one of his new students out a night to open sets and overcome AA. When he returned, the guru asked how it went. "Well.. On my way to town, I saw a girl sitting alone on a bus stop. So I thought it would be a good warmup to open her! I went over to her and said hi.. She replied with PISS OFF!"... So the Guru said "Wow.. That's pretty harsh!" "Yeah, but I wasn't about to give up that easily. I remembered what you told me about persistence, so I asked her if she was allright. I mean, to be that harsh against a stranger she had to be pretty down!".. The guru then asked him "So.. What happened then?" The student smiled a bit and said "Well.. She said: Either you piss off, or I will. She stood up and left." This girl was sitting at a bus stop.. She was most likely waiting for the bus, and she stood up and left! "Well.." said the guru, "How did you feel afterwards? Did it ruin your night?" the student answered "No, that's the wierd thing.. I felt like a god! I mean, this is the worst possible thing that could ever happen, and I've allready experienced it! I did more approaches than I've ever done in one night, because I knew that no matter what happened, nothing could be as bad as this. It was great!"

The same Guru also said a quote that I love - First you do the things you're scared of, then you get the courage.

Now this is one aspect of AA. You have to get rejected to understand that it's not that bad. The worst part of approaching, even if you get rejected, is the fear of rejection.

The second most important part of understanding how to overcome AA is the belief that "What if people see me approaching, won't they think I'm weird? And what if I get rejected? They must think I'm a total loser." First of all, most people won't even notice. Second, why should you let it bother you what the other guys think? Why would you let what someone else thinks of you stop you from doing what you want to do? They are complete strangers, and you probably wouldn't give a rats ass about what they do! If they went to approach a girl, you wouldn't really care.. Hell, if anything, when I see someone approach a girl, I actually think higher of them, because I know most guys don't have the balls to do that!

The bottom line of it is - Why should you waste energy thinking about what some strangers think of you? There is no point at all doing it. Even if someone observed you doing it, and actually payed attention to what you did. They won't remember in 10 minutes anyway. The girl you're approaching? If she rejects you, she'll most likely be very polite about it. If it's night/club game, she might be quite rude about it, and I actually (for your sake) hope she is! That way, you'll realize that it's actually not that bad.

As I mentioned earlier though, the only way to expand your comfort zone, is to move out of it. If you use affirmations, you might want to add that to your list "I love moving out of my comfort zone". The only way to get over AA is to approach. I hope though, with this information in mind, it will be easier for you to realize WHY you have to do it. Trust me, even when you know this, it will still be as scary as before. But now you KNOW why you have to approach, and hopefully you understand that all those thoughts popping up in your head as to why you shouldn't approach, is irrational thoughts purely based on fear and not logic.

First you do the things you're scared of, then you get the courage.
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