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Girl blasts at me over text and then apologizes, now what?
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Author:  hutzy [ Thu Nov 01, 2012 6:46 am ]
Post subject:  Girl blasts at me over text and then apologizes, now what?
First of all, the moment I sent those texts out I knew I was screwing myself over. But hind sight is always 20/20. Anyway, been out with her once (and that went great), but she's been saying No to a Day #3, whether she's actually busy or playing me, I don't know.

girl: i dont think i can go tmr :( sorry!
- next morning -
me: wowww. I'm so disappointed, only a dinner tmo or friday's gonna calm me down
girl: actually busy on both days :( already got plans
girl: mann i'm popular ;) gotta let me know earlier lol
me: well i'm spontaneous, so i guess we'll never see each other
me: you make dinner plans next week then
girl: no
girl: go be spontaneous by yourself
[15 mins later]
girl: im kiddddinnnggg
girl: but i have a test nxt friday
girl: hope i dont fail it ahaha

So you can see, she blasts at me and obviously tries to take the tension off, to me that's her trying to take back what she said (a subtle apology). I'm guessing I'm reading this right.

I'm seeing her in person tomorrow (class), how should I react to the situtation?

Normally I would just shrug it off and play it cool. But I feel that if I do this, she'll just think I'm being beta about it
(because from this exchange I know that I came off as beta already.)
Author:  HeavyRota8tion [ Thu Nov 01, 2012 6:51 am ]
Post subject: 
YOu're being too easy, nobody wants something that comes without any challenge.
Author:  hutzy [ Thu Nov 01, 2012 6:55 am ]
Post subject: 
Which is why I need some advice on how to react to come off as Not-as-easy-as-you-think.

Normally I would just shrug it off and play it cool. But I feel that if I do this, she'll just think I'm being beta about it.
Author:  HeavyRota8tion [ Thu Nov 01, 2012 7:07 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Which is why I need some advice on how to react to come off as Not-as-easy-as-you-think.

Normally I would just shrug it off and play it cool. But I feel that if I do this, she'll just think I'm being beta about it.
Dinner sounds like too much of a commitment to her, at least more than she's willing to give.

Tell her you've got something else planed and to join you. Ask once, not 3 effing times. Don't ever tell a girl to ASK you out unless you know she's invested and its done so in a playful, almost role play reversal manner. You're sounding way too eager and hence 'beta'. She's likely lost attraction towards you and if you keep badgering at her to go out with you it'll guarantee you wont have a 3rd date.
Author:  hutzy [ Thu Nov 01, 2012 7:12 am ]
Post subject: 
I understand what you're saying completely, and agree with it.

I had planned on freezing her out already. But tomorrow I will see her in person FOR SURE because we're in the same project group.

Still looking for advise on how I should/should not react to that whole exchange.
Quote:
Quote:
Which is why I need some advice on how to react to come off as Not-as-easy-as-you-think.

Normally I would just shrug it off and play it cool. But I feel that if I do this, she'll just think I'm being beta about it.
Dinner sounds like too much of a commitment to her, at least more than she's willing to give.

Tell her you've got something else planed and to join you. Ask once, not 3 effing times. Don't ever tell a girl to ASK you out unless you know she's invested and its done so in a playful, almost role play reversal manner. You're sounding way too eager and hence 'beta'. She's likely lost attraction towards you and if you keep badgering at her to go out with you it'll guarantee you wont have a 3rd date.
Author:  machiavillain [ Thu Nov 01, 2012 8:32 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
girl: i dont think i can go tmr Sad sorry!
- next morning -
me: wowww. I'm so disappointed, only a dinner tmo or friday's gonna calm me down
me: you make dinner plans next week then
Even though you're teasing and trying to give off the image as alpha by making her invite you to dinner and whatnot, you're actually accomplishing the opposite with the overall message of your conversation when you practically beg for a date by asking THREE times. BETA like behavior.

BUT
Quote:
me: wowww. I'm so disappointed, only a dinner tmo or friday's gonna calm me down
me: well i'm spontaneous, so i guess we'll never see each other
me: you make dinner plans next week then
She teases you back. Why? Part of your game is working. You're teasing her and this is still exciting to her to a degree that she cannot understand. She's still at that stage of indecisiveness. Not all is lost! And GREAT that you didn't reply after she said "no go be spontaneous yourself" this is a huge reason why she kept coming back. It's like that awkward silence kind of scenario. Just stare and embrace the silence and let her react to it instead of destroying yourself (and your chances) by trying desperately to find things to fill the gap of silence. This is exactly what you did. Your TALK game works, but you still need to polish up even further.

As you can see I broke down your game into two parts. Your TALK game. And your ACT game. There's a fine difference between talking the part and acting the part! And YOU, my friend, are confusing her by intriguing her when you TALK ALPHA, but repelling her when you ACT BETA.

Here's what I'd personally do...

You mentioned she's in your class. So sit near her, but no next to her, where she can see you clearly and start gaming on other girls. SHOW her that you ACTUALLY have other options. This will make her want you more. Why? Because now you're TALK and BEHAVIOR is alpha. But TEASE, my friend. Don't give in so easily. Make her EARN a dinner. Not the other way around. You don't earn a dinner from her, she earns one from you. You need to have this mentality if you want to get her. An alpha mentality. NOTE that you have to do this the next time you see her after those texts. You already presented the TALK, now back it up. If you did something else, then we're talking a new scenario now.
Author:  hutzy [ Sat Nov 03, 2012 5:02 am ]
Post subject: 
Well on Thursday basically I just conversed with other people around her and made jokes and whatnot, and not really paying attention to her.

Today just now, in my drunken state, I decided a 2-day freeze out was good enough and texted this back:

Aww tried to be a tuff girl but broke down in 15mins. Cute. ;)
Author:  pumpington [ Sat Nov 03, 2012 10:59 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Girl blasts at me over text and then apologizes, now what?
Quote:
First of all, the moment I sent those texts out I knew I was screwing myself over. But hind sight is always 20/20. Anyway, been out with her once (and that went great), but she's been saying No to a Day #3, whether she's actually busy or playing me, I don't know.
actually you calibrated nicely from my POV, she was tooling you and wasting your time, you showed her you are not interested in dealing with that shit
Quote:
So you can see, she blasts at me and obviously tries to take the tension off, to me that's her trying to take back what she said (a subtle apology). I'm guessing I'm reading this right.
you call this being put on blast? you read this situation right, she's all like haha im a boss, and you're my little orbiter, and you're like, oh yeah, orbiter hey?? how about you have 1 less orbiter now mrs. big pants, and she was like... fine by me, then you didn't react and she was like... fuck, I was bluffing, im not mrs. big pants :( (this is because she wants the attention to stick around)

Quote:
I'm seeing her in person tomorrow (class), how should I react to the situtation?
don't, forget it ever happened, be normal, start contacting her less, if she's soo important, then she wont miss getting attention from you obviously, and you can go meet other girls and she can continue with her other plans that are obviously more important to her then you are, why would you waste your time on this girl giving her attention and showing her how you feel, when clearly she isn't showing you she deserves it

just stop trying to contact her, stop going out of your way to socialize with her, open a new girl and try to move on that girl, instead of this girl, be normal around this girl, don't be rude, don't change, just be the same old you that she likes but takes for granted, and start giving her less attention and place that attention in a more valuable place (into another girl)
Quote:
Normally I would just shrug it off and play it cool. But I feel that if I do this, she'll just think I'm being beta about it
(because from this exchange I know that I came off as beta already.)
well, just be normal then, but stop trying to get her, just go for a different girl now, this girl thinks she's too cool for school, go get a girl who isn't so into herself and let this girl have a good 2 week break from your attention so she can realize that you are not just there when ever she wants, be busy when she texts/calls, make yourself scarce, show her she's not as big of a deal as she thinks she is and condition yourself to actually feel that way rather then really caring about her and pretending like you don't
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