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How am i doing with this girl? Friend or more?
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Author:  Pbblade [ Tue Oct 16, 2012 2:39 pm ]
Post subject:  How am i doing with this girl? Friend or more?
I've always had an issue when it came down to judgment, i'm always uncertain wether a girl is interested, friendzoned you or even likes you.

Situation:

Known this girl for a couple of years now, always had a good relation with her, but nothing special, no texting, just the occassional meetings with mutual friends and having fun. She's a very gorgeous girl, looks a tad asian with a great body, her personality is positive aswell.
I've recently decided to pick up the thread and focus more on developing our relation, maybe taking it as far as a relationship, who knows. I've been texting her on an occassional base and just ended a 18 minute call with her.

Here's a copy-paste from our texting, I find it hard to find many links so it'd be cool if someone could figure out her state of mind.


(Just got back from a party where we saw eachother again after a year)

Me: Goodmorning, ever woken up in your bed upside down? Feels pretty strange :P. Sorry that I didn't text you back, I went KO the minute i got home.

Her: Haha, not a problem xd! I just had some sleep aswell xx

Me: Welcome back I'd say, now tell me, what exactly was on your mind last night? I was gonna talk to you about it, but the noise at the party didn't really co-operate with me.

Her: Haha Yeah! Pretty typical when you go out, the music always ruins it, didn't i tell you half the story last night? xx

Me: I do remember half yes, but you looked really sad, could've been your asian look though... ;-).

Her: (Explains a story where a guy made out with her & she never got a text back, that it made her feel stupid etc...)

Me: No answer at all, or just really short? Sounds like you might've developed some feelings for him? 8)

Her: No not at all, it just sucks that someone would do that and ditch you.
Her: X (Strange to do the effort of sending an X if you forgot about it)
Her: X
Her: Sorry, wasn't my intention to send a double xd

Me: Ah no problem, I know much longer then today that you like me this much (a), I find it pretty fucked up for you though, nobody really deserves that. Tell you what, next time we meet, i'll give you a big fat kiss on your check and WILL text you back, would that help? :P

Her: Hahaha, Thanks (My name) that's very sweet of you! I do really like you yes ;D xx

We ended up exchanging a few more texts, nothing of importance, some humour, serious texting, got the answers i expected, closed up by saying i was gonna make sushi.
Today i gave her a call, opened up by being very serious, asking her to come swimming naked with me, she laughed really hard. Asked her if she wanted to go out tommorow as i've got a free day. she replied she couldn't, but she did propose me to join her for a party on thursday. Ended up having an amazing talk, it was like phone soccer, we kept passing the ball to eachother with really ''into the topic'' responses. I kept asking more indepth questions which scored off perfectly. Lots of emotions, alot of laughs, when i ended the conversation she told me that she appreciated me calling her.

Questions are simple:

* What steps should i take to build up something instead of staying at the same level & get owned by the friendzone.

* How do i find a difference between her liking me (emotional, sexual, ...) or her just being a good friend?
Author:  Rough Operator [ Tue Oct 16, 2012 6:13 pm ]
Post subject: 
Just assume she likes you and escalate at the party.
Author:  Pbblade [ Tue Oct 16, 2012 6:15 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Just assume she likes you and escalate at the party.
I dont need an accuracte verification to boost up my self-confidence, I'd like to get the knowledge so that i can pick up the signs. It's good to know so i dont miss the shot.
Author:  Rough Operator [ Tue Oct 16, 2012 6:19 pm ]
Post subject: 
If she's invited you to a party, there must be some interest there. I would hazard a guess that yes, the window of opportunity is opening. It's hard to tell through text and there are so many variables, trust your gut because it's usually correct.
Author:  Valdemar1 [ Tue Oct 16, 2012 7:14 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
Just assume she likes you and escalate at the party.
I dont need an accuracte verification to boost up my self-confidence, I'd like to get the knowledge so that i can pick up the signs. It's good to know so i dont miss the shot.
Unless i am best friend with a girl, i will always assume that i have a chance of getting with her.

some clues to if she likes you
-brushes her hair
-touches you fast, like you are negging her
-bends her head, showing her neck
-strong eye contact
-keeps the conversation running asking you question (though this can mean that she just likes talking to you)

i find it very helpfull to escalate through eye contact, so that would be my advise!
Author:  Pbblade [ Tue Oct 16, 2012 7:42 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Just assume she likes you and escalate at the party.
I dont need an accuracte verification to boost up my self-confidence, I'd like to get the knowledge so that i can pick up the signs. It's good to know so i dont miss the shot.
Unless i am best friend with a girl, i will always assume that i have a chance of getting with her.

some clues to if she likes you
-brushes her hair
-touches you fast, like you are negging her
-bends her head, showing her neck
-strong eye contact
-keeps the conversation running asking you question (though this can mean that she just likes talking to you)

i find it very helpfull to escalate through eye contact, so that would be my advise!
I'll still have to check for this behaviour, at the party, she was flicking her hair and cooooonstantly coming to me asking questions etc, dancing with me (nothing to sexual, just fyi).

I wonder if that behaviour would still be typical even if we know eachother pretty well and have been friends for a while. I do think it influences the way romantic feelings develop differently, allthough that could be dead wrong.
Author:  Mr. Assertive [ Tue Oct 16, 2012 7:48 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
I dont need an accuracte verification to boost up my self-confidence, I'd like to get the knowledge so that i can pick up the signs. It's good to know so i dont miss the shot.
Unless i am best friend with a girl, i will always assume that i have a chance of getting with her.

some clues to if she likes you
-brushes her hair
-touches you fast, like you are negging her
-bends her head, showing her neck
-strong eye contact
-keeps the conversation running asking you question (though this can mean that she just likes talking to you)

i find it very helpfull to escalate through eye contact, so that would be my advise!
I'll still have to check for this behaviour, at the party, she was flicking her hair and cooooonstantly coming to me asking questions etc, dancing with me (nothing to sexual, just fyi).

I wonder if that behaviour would still be typical even if we know eachother pretty well and have been friends for a while. I do think it influences the way romantic feelings develop differently, allthough that could be dead wrong.

take two steps forward and one step back. You'll get there. She is interested, keep making her chase the string and let her have it once she's charged.
Author:  Pbblade [ Tue Oct 16, 2012 7:50 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Unless i am best friend with a girl, i will always assume that i have a chance of getting with her.

some clues to if she likes you
-brushes her hair
-touches you fast, like you are negging her
-bends her head, showing her neck
-strong eye contact
-keeps the conversation running asking you question (though this can mean that she just likes talking to you)

i find it very helpfull to escalate through eye contact, so that would be my advise!
I'll still have to check for this behaviour, at the party, she was flicking her hair and cooooonstantly coming to me asking questions etc, dancing with me (nothing to sexual, just fyi).

I wonder if that behaviour would still be typical even if we know eachother pretty well and have been friends for a while. I do think it influences the way romantic feelings develop differently, allthough that could be dead wrong.

take two steps forward and one step back. You'll get there. She is interested, keep making her chase the string and let her have it once she's charged.
Two steps forward and one step back? I'd like to get to know more about this, unless it's some sort of motivational quote (Also interesting). If there's more information that you wanna share, feel free to do so. I'm really in a good mood/shape to learn.
Author:  Mr. Assertive [ Tue Oct 16, 2012 10:24 pm ]
Post subject: 
by two steps I mean you will have to subtly state your interest in her and then back off. It is like the terminology that Mystery use–bait, hook, reward, release. Have you ever played with cats before? If you dangle a string they will paw at it and chase it until exhaustion. Once you give it to them, however, they will play with it for awhile and then walk away. You must keep up this act with women in general, not just on the girls you want, if you want to get really good.

First you must build attraction which is done by playfully teasing her, role playing with her, and throw in some screening and qualifying once you are aware that she is fully engaged in having a conversation with you. The more she invests in answering questions or sharing about herself, the more of a prize you will seem to her. And people value things more if they think they earned them.

If you don't know about the bait hook reward release, I will provide an example taken from PUA lingo.

PUA: Are you a good cook? (Bait)

HB: Hm. Depends. I am good at cooking Italian Food.

PUA: No way! I love Italian food! How good is your lasagna?

HB: Excellent! I have Italian food, my mom used to cook for me all the time back in Rome! (Hook)

PUA: That’s great that you are domestic, most girls I talk to these days cannot cook. You’ll have to cook for me sometime, as a return for the favor of showing you that magic trick. (Reel)

HB: Ok. Sure.

PUA: But don’t any ideas when I come over now okay. Maybe we should do this at my place, that way I’ll feel safer (Role Reversal, Release). Alright, alright, where was I before this cooking conversation came up? (Release)
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