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Girl likes me but I still feel like I'm doing all the work.
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Author:  devi4nt [ Sun Oct 14, 2012 11:01 pm ]
Post subject:  Girl likes me but I still feel like I'm doing all the work.
Hey

So met this girl, been on two dates so far. Kissed on both (I'm thinking I shouldn't have as I might have to let her down and might have led her on).

Anyway when we hang out there's a lot of silences. I wouldn't say their awkward or anything but when I've been on other dates there hasn't been any and we have always vibed with each other and the conversation's been great. She does talk but I feel I am always the one leading the conversation and doing 80% of the talking. Whilst we have a lot in common and she is really cool I feel I cannot go any further with this particular girl.

She's definitely in to me as she's arranged the next date herself and asked me out (food and back to hers). She text me last yesterday so the ball was in my court to reply yet she's text me twice today (I haven't replied).

I can't really see this going anywhere but I think she wants a relationship so I guess what I'm asking from the community is how should I let her down gently. I've already led her on by kissing her on both dates and I don't want to be a dick about it all as I know what it's like to be led on and it makes you feel shitty so want to let her down in the nicest way possible.

Thanks for any tips 8)
Author:  TheAccountant [ Mon Oct 15, 2012 3:51 am ]
Post subject: 
Dev,

It's a tough situation, one that I have been faced with twice myself in the last 3 months... The craziest thing is I used honesty...and their attraction grew greater.

I was strait up with...lets call her Jill. She wanted a relationship and I had told her I wasn't ready for the title. This continued for about a week to the point of me having to tell her that I thought this was headed in a direction I was prepared for but that I wasn't. I told her that she was fantastic (which she was) but things weren't clicking for me and that it was unfair to her if I continued to just wait out a feeling I deep down knew wouldn't change...This happened 3 months ago and last night I got a text from Jill, she thanked me and even wanted to meet up for drinks and more if I would like. I politely thanked her for the invite and will keep that in my back pocket.

The other girl was younger, or I should say is. I am currently in that very delicate area where I need to let her down. Her feelings for me have grown more intense and I don't share her attraction. I am going to have to sit down and just talk to her and be honest.

Honesty....the best policy. Good luck.

-TA
Author:  HeavyRota8tion [ Mon Oct 15, 2012 4:10 am ]
Post subject: 
So are you not feeling this girl, or are you becoming jaded because you feel you're doing most of the work?

If its more the former, be honest with her, yet gentle.
Author:  Thessius [ Mon Oct 15, 2012 5:09 am ]
Post subject: 
I agree with theAccountant. I was really into this one girl a few years back, and once I got outta a 2 year relationship, I made a date with her. I really didn't feel anything for her and at the end of it (even though we had a good conversation) I told her that I wasn't interested in escalating things. That was at least 5 months and she's been texting me off and on to hang out since, even if I ignore some of her texts.
Author:  devi4nt [ Mon Oct 15, 2012 2:59 pm ]
Post subject: 
Cheers everyone and TA. I think I'll take your advice and I'm just going to have to be honest with her. I feel I owe it to her to do it in person rather than text (My phones broke and doesn't make calls) so will meet up with her next week.

It's funny I've found myself in this position. As normally it's the other way around :lol: I guess it's nice to see the girls perspective on these kind of situations.

@ HeavyRota8tion, She's a nice girl and although she makes me laugh on times I feel like trying to get a fun conversation out of her is like trying to draw blood from a stone. Our conversations feel like the kind you have with someone who's not interested where you have to do all the work which is odd becuase she likes me so I'm guessing it's just her personality. I'm not saying I'm not looking for a relationship but if if I was it couldn't be with this girl as nice as she is. Her texts are pretty boring too and replying feels like a chore. She's just like 'so how was your day' and 'so what are you up to now'.

Thanks all for the advice.
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