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Please help me turning things around!
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=148181
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Author:  TheGipsy [ Sun Oct 14, 2012 5:00 am ]
Post subject:  Please help me turning things around!

Hello!

I've been reading the boards for a while now, and I can say I have changed a lot.

My life got better, because I started to improve not only with girls, but with friends, and in college/work. Now, I try to have a totally different mindset.

But here is my scenario.

Last April, I went on Springbreak. In the first day, I met a HB9, who studies where I study. In the second day, I got back with my ex (genius me, eh).

In August me and my ex broke up.

Now I'm trying to game HB9.

Thing is: I can't do it! She acts totally indiferent. She can stop to greet me, but I can never talk to her for more then a minute, because she leaves, or is doing something with someone else.

Usually, I can get someone's attention, and this is what is really bothering me!! I can't get hers. Why? I dunno.

Last thursday, she was talking with a girl, friend of mine. So, I came close. My friend greeted me, started talking about some works we had from college... and HB9 wouldn't even look at me.
I tried to include her in the convo, asking how was she doing her work, and she said "Oh, I think I'll do it next to the due date"... And it died...

So, obviously she isn't in love with me, and I can think of 2 possibilities: 1) She is indiferent, and I can keep trying to get her attention, and then escalating; 2) She dislikes me, and I don't know why.

I really think 2 is a better option, but I don't know.

How can I be sure about how she feels about me?
If she dislikes me, can I turn things around?
If she doesn't, can you give me any tips to try getting her attention? I thought about being direct, like... Greeting when we meet, asking if she's staying in the city in the weekend (she's from another city), and if she is, suggest we could go for a drink, or something... But I don't know if this is the best way.

Thank you, folks!!

Author:  NikAFC [ Sun Oct 14, 2012 5:07 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Please help me turning things around!

Quote:

So, obviously she isn't in love with me
Haha.. you have a lot to learn my friend

Start with getting a lot of girls then looking for something serious with a girl

Author:  TheGipsy [ Sun Oct 14, 2012 5:15 am ]
Post subject: 

Hahah

I'm not looking for something not even near to serious right now.

What I mean is that from that attitude, I assume she don't have a positive opinion about me. She can have a neutral one, or negative.

I game other girls. Sometimes, I can reach my objectives, sometimes, not. But in most cases, I can actually try my game. What intrigues me with this girl is that not even this I'm being able to do.

And, Yes. I have a LOT to learn. And that's why I ask for help.

Thanks

Author:  TheGipsy [ Mon Oct 15, 2012 10:34 pm ]
Post subject: 

Sorry for the bump! But I'm taking any kind of help! =)

Author:  max008 [ Tue Oct 16, 2012 9:23 am ]
Post subject: 

Unfortunately i don't understand what are you talking about this topic please tell me. Than i search this topic and give some suggestion soon.

Author:  Pbblade [ Tue Oct 16, 2012 3:17 pm ]
Post subject: 

I'm a very confident guy and i can feel what you're lacking.. Yes you guessed it right.
The way you put up this message tells me alot about yourself.

Have you tried standing out? Dont go asking her how her work has been, how she's doing, that shit is boring man. If you want her attention, find something creative to say. It's important for a girl to feel that she's gaining something special, when you show her a unique personality she'll feel attracted because it just screams out manliness. Be confident, be creative, funny etc...
Make sure you're also ready to let go because you haven't truely developed yourself yet, and your flaws will always be there, letting go is part of the process of becoming a real man. I've been in the same boat, my game used to suck apeshit, but it's getting really good now, I even recently got a job which my surroundings found hard to believe, because my background and profile was just god aweful.. It's the way i handled the situation with words and action, that got me the job. Exactly the way our girls work.

Author:  Valdemar1 [ Tue Oct 16, 2012 4:16 pm ]
Post subject: 

What i believe makes me more succesfull then any of my friends, and what i think makes me able to create a deeper connection faster then any one i know, is that i really put my self out there!
i show the girls my personality, i don't make as much pointless smalltalk as most other guys will. This make girls feel a bit like im weird, which annoyed me at first, but then i realized that it was because i am different in a good way!

my advise would be a bit like the one above, you need to make sure you are not like any other guy! you need to show her your personality, let her know who you are as a person!

Author:  Valdemar1 [ Tue Oct 16, 2012 4:35 pm ]
Post subject: 

What i believe makes me more succesfull then any of my friends, and what i think makes me able to create a deeper connection faster then any one i know, is that i really put my self out there!
i show the girls my personality, i don't make as much pointless smalltalk as most other guys will. This make girls feel a bit like im weird, which annoyed me at first, but then i realized that it was because i am different in a good way!

my advise would be a bit like the one above, you need to make sure you are not like any other guy! you need to show her your personality, let her know who you are as a person!

Author:  HeavyRota8tion [ Tue Oct 16, 2012 4:47 pm ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
What i believe makes me more succesfull then any of my friends, and what i think makes me able to create a deeper connection faster then any one i know, is that i really put my self out there!
i show the girls my personality, i don't make as much pointless smalltalk as most other guys will. This make girls feel a bit like im weird, which annoyed me at first, but then i realized that it was because i am different in a good way!

my advise would be a bit like the one above, you need to make sure you are not like any other guy! you need to show her your personality, let her know who you are as a person!
This^^

Be yourself and let the chips fall wherever they may. The key is not being a valuation-seeking machine bu to instead sit comfortable with who you are, trust in your experience without the reliance on techniques and routines, and especially by holding firm to any one outcome. Do this and you'll prevail in all areas of your life, including women.

Author:  Pbblade [ Tue Oct 16, 2012 6:19 pm ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
Quote:
What i believe makes me more succesfull then any of my friends, and what i think makes me able to create a deeper connection faster then any one i know, is that i really put my self out there!
i show the girls my personality, i don't make as much pointless smalltalk as most other guys will. This make girls feel a bit like im weird, which annoyed me at first, but then i realized that it was because i am different in a good way!

my advise would be a bit like the one above, you need to make sure you are not like any other guy! you need to show her your personality, let her know who you are as a person!
This^^

Be yourself and let the chips fall wherever they may. The key is not being a valuation-seeking machine bu to instead sit comfortable with who you are, trust in your experience without the reliance on techniques and routines, and especially by holding firm to any one outcome. Do this and you'll prevail in all areas of your life, including women.

Very good information, valuation-seeking (for me) is exactly the same as people telling you what to do, and how to live your life. Self-value is worth alot more then how people value you. Ofcourse we all adjust (We dont go to a party naked because we feel like it) but it's still important that you adjust your way.

Author:  beingattractive [ Tue Oct 16, 2012 11:11 pm ]
Post subject: 

Asking how was she doing her work?

That's what killed it, don't talk to girls about boring stuff like this... They have heard it a thousand times before. When you see your best friend, do you first ask him how he is doing with his work???

Author:  TheGipsy [ Wed Oct 17, 2012 2:36 am ]
Post subject: 

Thanks for all your replies.

I'll put these in numbers, as I thinks it's easier to organize my thoughts. But, please, don't think it's done by relevance or any kind of order.

1. Yes, I lack some self-confidence. Actually, I think there are days my confidence is sky high, and other times, it's lower than ground level. I'm usually fun, and playful.

But I guess I look for validation, which is a bad thing. What I cant't separate is the fact that maybe my "real" self isn't as nice as I'd like, or thik...

2. With other girls, I try to use what I've been learning here. Never have a boring conversation, or a dull moment; trying escalating, getting girls to get used to touching; bein flirty; etc, and I think I've had some success doing it. My relation with people have changed, I feel better, I have more people around, I feel people are more comfortable around me, and I am too.

3. With this girl I tried to act like myself. Being fun, trying to keep her interested. This situation when I asked about her work, was because I was talking to our friend in common and she kept looking away. So, I tried to get her inside the conversation. The wrong way, I guess... I should have tried something else!

Well, it's no use crying over spilled milk!

4. Do you guys think I can change this?

5. In general, I think I create some nice rapport with girls in general. I'm very anxious, so I have to overcome anxiety, what has been worked on in the last months. And I have some problem escalating, because of my anxiety, that makes me afraid. Sticking points, I guess...

Once again, thank you!

You've been of great support!!

Peace!

Author:  charblad [ Wed Oct 17, 2012 3:06 am ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
In general I think I make some nice rapport with girls
Haha that's how you get friends mate, not girlfriends/lovers
Try sexual tension, that's the difference between "ljbf" and getting what you want
About you asking her about her day, try to Tell her about herself (its like asking but in a non afc way, just make your question into a statement aka "what music do you like?")
"you really seem like a country music girl to me"
And whatever she says roll with it, "no I'm not really" - "hmm I'll have to get you in a cowgirl hat I think that'll work on you"
Or "yes I am! How did you know?" - "there are secrets I just Cant tell you"
You generally have to ask a question to ask for validation, that's why pua's try not to ask questions directly

Author:  TheGipsy [ Wed Oct 17, 2012 3:14 am ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
Quote:
In general I think I make some nice rapport with girls
Haha that's how you get friends mate, not girlfriends/lovers
Try sexual tension, that's the difference between "ljbf" and getting what you want
About you asking her about her day, try to Tell her about herself (its like asking but in a non afc way, just make your question into a statement aka "what music do you like?")
"you really seem like a country music girl to me"
And whatever she says roll with it, "no I'm not really" - "hmm I'll have to get you in a cowgirl hat I think that'll work on you"
Or "yes I am! How did you know?" - "there are secrets I just Cant tell you"
You generally have to ask a question to ask for validation, that's why pua's try not to ask questions directly
This, exactly!

I can get enough rapport for LJBF. Which sucks!

I really enjoyed your examples! I've been trying to make my questions into statements, but I guess sometimes I have a hard time doing it!

But I'll be trying more!!

Thank you, once more!!

Peace

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