| PUA Forum https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/ |
|
| Problems with groups. Social circle problems. https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=148023 |
Page 1 of 1 |
| Author: | Souvenir [ Thu Oct 11, 2012 3:57 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Problems with groups. Social circle problems. |
This is not really to do with game, but it is something that has been bugging me for a long time now, and really effects my lifestyle. I can get on with almost anyone if I am one-on-one, that's guys and girls. Lots of people have even praised me, telling me they think I am amazing, and that they have never met anyone like me, and literally asking me to be their friend, and stuff like that. But when it comes to groups of people I seem to cause tension after a while, and people seem to dislike me especially the more I am put into a group. It's like I come in and fuck up the hierarchy, or make people feel weirded out and stifled unintentionally. People seem to find it impossible to feel comfortable around me, even though ironically they indicate to me huge comfort and rapport from the start. When I'm out doing pickup solo I don't really care, because guys just sort of isolate themselves from me and leave me with the girl/s. But it's a massive headfuck for my social life. It makes it impossible for me to make a solid group of friends or be seen as someone who could be integrated into the group. I have literally zero group-mind mentality, and simply don't care for popular culture and 99% of what everyone else does...which may be the problem, always rendering me an outsider. Reason why I wrote this post is because I have been trying to find a job recently, and one of the main points of feedback I get back is that they don't believe that I would get on with the team. And I pickup on that as well during the interviews. When I have had interviews, the guys literally seem scared to make eye contact with me, but the girls seem to feel attracted to me. Does anyone else experience this? What can I do to sort it out? |
|
| Author: | Crypto [ Thu Oct 11, 2012 4:05 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
This is Game! Game is more than picking up girls, it is a lifestyle which can/will help you in all aspects of your life. Based on what you say in your post, it is hard to make a educated guess and offer advice. Can you describe yourself a bit more and maybe give an example or two of a situation when you did/said something to cause group discomfort? |
|
| Author: | puaninja [ Thu Oct 11, 2012 4:29 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Sounds like you have a "type A" personality. It's really outgoing and fun, but sometimes it's too much. It becomes selfish and distracting and steals energy from the group as you try to keep the focus on you. I remember having some jobs where people like this would get hired on and it was like they were oblivious to their other coworkers. They'd often be know-it-alls and I noticed that they too had problems with eye contact. Like they couldn't make eye contact with you because they didn't want to acknowlege you. They'd make no attempt to understand the hierarchies that were in place or assimilate into the various social circles. It was almost like they rejected the concept of socialization. |
|
| Author: | KimPa [ Thu Oct 11, 2012 5:11 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Hey i have the same Situation as a matter of fact. I havent figured out how to solve this. I'll keep an eye on this thread |
|
| Author: | Souvenir [ Sat Oct 13, 2012 2:33 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
I think I know the problem. It's that I set a way too high precedence for what people expect of me in the future, and if I don't fulfill that expectation next time, people feel disappointed or somehow violated. It's like I can meet a new group of people, have people dying with laughter for example, but because I won't necessarily have that intense effect on people the next time, it's like I have failed at fulfilling a standard. I think it's easier to explain precedence in terms of girls. You go in intense high energy the whole night, and if you get a day 2 with that girl and you are feeling more chilled and less high energy, it's going to seem weird to her because it's violated an expectation of what she thought you are like. She might feel like shes on a date with a totally different guy. It's only really recently occurred to me that this also applies to social groups. I realised it with girls some time back, and purposely began to make sure that when I went out solo I would try and display lots of different sides to my personality, from high too low energy, from humorous too serious, from loud too quiet, and it really helped my game. |
|
| Page 1 of 1 | All times are UTC |
| Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group http://www.phpbb.com/ |
|