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Called me at 2:30 AM...to sleep on my couch?!
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Author:  Dalinkin [ Sat Oct 06, 2012 2:35 pm ]
Post subject:  Called me at 2:30 AM...to sleep on my couch?!
Basically, I hung out with a girl from class, I tried to make a move and was denied. Started freezing her out and not really giving her much attention. I would say hi and I started sitting with other people in class, trying to meet other girls. The other day I got a false sense of hope that I was building back attraction when she approached me after class and started talking to me about plans for the weekend.

Anyways, last night I got a call from her around 2:30 asking what I was up to and if she could come stay the night at my place. Mind you, this girl lives 30 minutes away so normally I would assume booty call but I figured this girl got rejected by some dude and now needs a place to stay.

So, I, being the nice guy, threw some clothes on, walked a few blocks to get her, and walked her back to my place. I teased her about it and what not and asked why she didn't just find some random dude to go home with and she responded: "Believe me, I got lots of offers, but I'm just not that kind of girl."

She kept talking about how upset she was and said a few times: "Just put me on the floor, give me a blanket, and I'm good."

Anyways after we got back to my place, I gave her a change of clothes and told her she can crash in my bed. I went to the bathroom, and when I came out she was on the couch. I told her my bed was warmer but she was like:

"oh but your couch is so comfy."

Mind you, this girl has already slept in my bed after she denied my first move. Why would she not hop back in?

I sort of knew the night was going to end this way with her, so I passed out in my bed alone. I was somewhat drunk and pissed off so I deleted her from my phone and Facebook. I wanted to kick her out then and there, but realized that was not who I was. I hope deleting her facebook and # wasn't an overreaction, but I'm starting to think it was. Thoughts?

Also, this morning, she left before I even woke up. Yep, she used me for my couch.

What did I do wrong? In my situation, what would you have done? Just ignored the call? Refused to pick her up? Pressure her more into bed?

I'm thinking of when I see her class next week, approaching her and saying:

"Look, Friday night was bullshit. I'm glad I was able to help you out, but don't expect that SPAM ever again. You know I was into you and you still thought it would be okay to call me up just and sleep on my couch and leave in the morning. I thought you were a cool girl when I first met you, but I'm realizing you are just like all the others. Go ahead and lose my number please."

I thought I was getting better with women but this event really makes me feel like I'm still that nice guy who is always friendzoned. Damn.
Author:  VietnameseProdigy [ Sat Oct 06, 2012 2:39 pm ]
Post subject: 
You should have made a move, and if she rejected you say something like
"My penis isn't very happy. Get the fuck out of my place now."

Delete her shit, don't even talk to her in class.
Author:  Tr@veler [ Sat Oct 06, 2012 2:57 pm ]
Post subject: 
Don't say that. Deleting her phone number and facebook was the right thing to do. Don't ever talk to her again. End of story. She doesn't deserve your attention, the little attention seeker she is.
Author:  Paul_T [ Sat Oct 06, 2012 3:24 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Called me at 2:30 AM...to sleep on my couch?!
Quote:
Basically, I hung out with a girl from class, I tried to make a move and was denied.
The entire thing depends on what you move was. By a move, do you mean you tried to ask her out? how? or kiss her? Fuck her? What?

Honestly from this it sounds like you are totally in the friend zone and she trusts you, and hence called you when she was in a tight spot to come save her. She really did just want a couch and probably left quietly to not wake you.

What was your move?
Author:  HeavyRota8tion [ Sat Oct 06, 2012 5:57 pm ]
Post subject: 
She crashed at your place for logistical reasons. She didn't sleep in your bed because she felt it'd be awkward. You're a nice guy and she knows it (e.g., wont take advantage of her). I'd not waste another moment on this one and move on. She feels some degree of comfort with you but even that isn't likely very much as she wasn't willing to enter your bed despite sleeping it in before. She's not interested in the way you want her to be, but she felt relatively safe with you hence asking to crash at your place. Cut your losses, its not even a loss she was never yours to begin with. If you want a friend go for it, but expect nothing more. You expected sex from her, it didn't happen, it wont happen particularly if you play Mr. Nice Guy (completely de-sexualized guy who tried once being sexual with her and seemed incongruent doing so); I say this because despite your effort to bed her she still feels safe around you, if she didn't your couch let alone entering your front door again wouldn't have been an option. You were never a sexual threat to her so she finds you safe, if you were a sexual threat you wouldn't have been an option on her list, plus its possible her other friends weren't up or home at that hour so she went down her list to your contact.
Author:  Don Horneone [ Sun Oct 07, 2012 9:19 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Called me at 2:30 AM...to sleep on my couch?!
Quote:
"Look, Friday night was bullshit. I'm glad I was able to help you out, but don't expect that SPAM ever again. You know I was into you and you still thought it would be okay to call me up just and sleep on my couch and leave in the morning. I thought you were a cool girl when I first met you, but I'm realizing you are just like all the others. Go ahead and lose my number please."
Definitely don't say that. She won't understand why you're so angry and she'll just think you're a jerk (not in a good way), you did agree to let her stay so if you feel butthurt about it afterwards that's not really her fault.

If something like that happens again, rather than "teasing" her about it, I would act slightly annoyed by the fact you've been inconvenienced. Say you were sleeping and let her stay but act a little bit grumpy about it. I think that's a lot more likely to create attraction as she'll realise that she can't just call on you for any little thing she wants without you getting pissed off.

If you want to know what I mean by grumpy, watch The Transporter. Jason Statham has to put this girl up for the night and the way he acts about it, you'd think she shit on his cornflakes! 8)
Author:  Pickwick [ Sun Oct 07, 2012 9:35 am ]
Post subject: 
Everyone gave good advice. Don't say what you planned. Deleting her info was a good idea.

If I was in this situation and she already rejected me once, i would have said "ok, come by and crash on the couch." At this point she should be in your past. She should be on an ice age freeze out, with her initiating would be the only thing melting your ice. This doesn't mean don't be a decent human being, however.
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