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worst case in history
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Author:  dmallsick [ Fri Oct 05, 2012 10:09 am ]
Post subject:  worst case in history
I am probably the worst case of AFC in history. Yesterday I was waiting for a bus and there was a girl eyeing me, I didn't do anything. So when the bus came I got in and the girl got next to me quite close. She was staring at me so obviously that even the shyest guy would have done something. I on the other hand wanted to say her "what the f*ck are you looking at", but I didn't because I remembered this forum. Was thinking what to do but just pussied out like a bitch in the end. Thankfully I had to get out after few stops.
I'm not shy in ordinary situations, at work I occasionally tell girls to get the hell out from where I'm working, but when it comes to situations like these I'm a shy asshole. Am I a hopeless afc?
Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Fri Oct 05, 2012 1:21 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: worst case in history
Quote:
Am I a hopeless afc?
First of all, NO your not hopeless. you are seeking advice, therefore even you do not believe you are hopeless!

Instead of
Quote:
"what the f*ck are you looking at"
I would try Hi, I'm dmallsick!
Quote:
I occasionally tell girls to get the hell out from where I'm working,
Need to work on this!
Author:  Crypto [ Fri Oct 05, 2012 2:20 pm ]
Post subject: 
Listen to Heywood bro...A lot of life experience and wisdom in his words!

It all starts with a simple smile.

Peace...
Author:  dmallsick [ Fri Oct 05, 2012 4:29 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I would try Hi, I'm dmallsick!
It would just end in awkward silence and I will make a fool out of myself.
Quote:
Quote:
I occasionally tell girls to get the hell out from where I'm working,


Need to work on this!
Why? Is it bad?
Author:  Melodical [ Fri Oct 05, 2012 4:53 pm ]
Post subject: 
Your're insecurity around girls is coming out in aggression thats the problem. Work on your inner game. If a girl likes you remember attraction isn't a choice. Ask her opinion on something.
Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Fri Oct 05, 2012 5:14 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
I would try Hi, I'm dmallsick!
It would just end in awkward silence and I will make a fool out of myself.
Quote:
Quote:
I occasionally tell girls to get the hell out from where I'm working,


Need to work on this!
Why? Is it bad?
There is a fine line between assertive behavior and coming across as an asshole. Now, an asshole as someone who is stubborn in their convictions, treats other with disdain and disrespect and is generally unpleasant to be around. At times, these asshole traits are confused with being assertive.

Your not being assertive and confidant, your coming across to them as an asshole.

Aggression mixed with assertiveness can quickly be viewed as desperation, not confidence!

To be assertive means that you affirm your convictions without threats or aggression and with a confidence that requires no proof.

Be respectful, even when they are in your way. Strive to keep the common good in mind when you are interacting with them, Listening to what they have to say shows that even though you may be aggressively going after an objective, let them know they matter.

Hell maybe they will even start to like you!
Author:  dmallsick [ Fri Oct 05, 2012 5:32 pm ]
Post subject: 
Actually I rarely say "get the hell out". Usually I say just "go" or "out the way" or just don't say anything just look and they understand what to do. That's of course not only with girls.
Quote:
Your're insecurity around girls is coming out in aggression thats the problem. Work on your inner game. If a girl likes you remember attraction isn't a choice. Ask her opinion on something.
I know. I think that is rare, guys are usually shy and stuff like that. That's why I think it's harder to change.
Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Fri Oct 05, 2012 5:40 pm ]
Post subject: 
Read through this:

being-nice-vt146253.html?highlight=

And go here:

beliefs-and-confidence-building-self-es ... e-vf2.html
Author:  VanPelt [ Fri Oct 05, 2012 6:36 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: worst case in history
Quote:
I am probably the worst case of AFC in history. Yesterday I was waiting for a bus and there was a girl eyeing me, I didn't do anything. So when the bus came I got in and the girl got next to me quite close. She was staring at me so obviously that even the shyest guy would have done something. I on the other hand wanted to say her "what the f*ck are you looking at", but I didn't because I remembered this forum. Was thinking what to do but just pussied out like a bitch in the end. Thankfully I had to get out after few stops.
I'm not shy in ordinary situations, at work I occasionally tell girls to get the hell out from where I'm working, but when it comes to situations like these I'm a shy asshole. Am I a hopeless afc?
in this case Mystery have already solved your problem, i directly cite him, "you just need to say Hi and you will be a big winner"
Author:  mmo73 [ Fri Oct 05, 2012 6:37 pm ]
Post subject: 
you can't make awkwardness or a fool out of yourself by smiling and saying hi. you can spread good energy and vibes.
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