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| I Need help! Newbie approach advice. Can't find answers! https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=147480 |
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| Author: | Hunter9 [ Thu Oct 04, 2012 11:53 pm ] |
| Post subject: | I Need help! Newbie approach advice. Can't find answers! |
Hey guys, Im a 17 Year old from England and Im in college. I have read some books, such as The Game, Magic Bullets, and A bit of A body language book and Mystery's The Mystery Method. Do you guys recommend any good books? So guys, It seems Ive fallen at the first hurdle. Not a great start... I cant seem to approach new girls, I get the feeling that if I go to talk to random girls that I will get there and they will just laugh at me and send me back to wherever I crawled from. With me being in college and not old enough to get in to most nightclubs then a lot of my game has to be day game and social game, meaning that I can only really game people I know such as people already in my social group which involves big risks. When I do talk to girls I'm not too bad, With some of my girl friends I am thought of as a type of "Gay Best Friend" which isnt all bad, The "Gay" bit isnt great but its good that I have girl friends because it has some social benefits such as maybe getting introduced to their friends and having other girls see me with them in social occasions. When I do have people to game where an approach wasnt necesary I feel I do ok by getting strong IOI's from one of my old friends I got talking too and my friends older sister when at a party (Her Boyfriend was there too) I havent been able to game many people so IOI's from 2 isnt bad at this point. I would also like advice to become the AMOG, Or just one of those outstanding social guys that everyone loves and wants to be around because in most of my social groups im considered ok and respected, But I dont just want to be a "pretty cool" guy, I want to be more important and more fun (This is a big thing, I do drama which involves people with BIG personalities to compete with) If you havent got bored of this and havent left, then thank you. To summarise I would really love any game advice people could offer and any solutions that might be able to help me solve my problems. |
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| Author: | GearOne [ Fri Oct 05, 2012 5:09 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
What's up man, listen... out of all the failures and crash and burns, no girl ever pointed and laughed at me. They never publicly embarrassed me, and they never were demeaning. Sure some were bitches, but that's part of the game. If it does happen to you, just walk away. You're gonna let a few failed attempts ruin the rest of your social life with women? Fuck no. And yes, your right. The gay best friend thing sounds awful. But here's the thing. You're already farther than you think. You have female friends. Not only does this allow you to improve social interaction, eye contact, understanding body language, etc... you can also ask advice from them. Don't ask too much, because honestly girls don't know what they want. Here's my thing about AMOGS. That's more of a personality. Don't try and be something you're not. Talented pickup artists will outgame and outclass this guys without having to blast their testosterone out of their mouths. The more you socialize, the more you will stand out. The art of pick up is a guide. Don't lose your personality. Don't become a pickup robot. Keep yourself dude, I'm telling you. Find a style that fits you, and not only will you enjoy it more, you will be more successful because it's more natural to you. What's your personality? Do you like a systematic approach with a few props and love the reactions from girls? Mystery Method. Do you like utilizing natural social interaction involving eye contact, voice pattern, and natural human movement? Gambler. Many styles out there. You can choose one, mix and match, create your own, doesn't matter. But your not going to get any better no much how you read by not doing anything. Like David Wygant said, "the worst thing you can say is nothing." Another thing. Bars and clubs aren't the only place you can talk to females. In fact, these are the worst places to practice, because there's a good chance you both will be there for the night. How about the grocery store? "Excuse me (hold up 2 boxes of cereal), which one?" Most likely she'll say neither and point to some nasty healthy shit. "I'm sorry, I like to enjoy my breakfeast." |
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| Author: | Hunter9 [ Thu Oct 11, 2012 11:06 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Hey man. Thanks for the reply and thanks for doing it in such a short time, I just thought I'd leave it around a week before saying thank you to make sure no one else has something to say on the topic before sort of closing it. But Thanks mate, I really like your cereal example haha, It also does sound like something that I would say aswell. Thanks for the tips about the AMOG and standing out socially too, I think I just need to be more out there sometimes and go and interact with my friends instead of being my usual relaxed, sit back and wait for them to come to me self. Thanks pal, I really appreciate your help and hopefully I'll see you around here again soon. BK |
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| Author: | StarRacer [ Thu Oct 11, 2012 11:22 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Only real bitches will publicly embrass you (yes it happened to me once). But nine times out of ten no girl will do that or laugh at your. You have friends that are girls. Great. You already know how to interact with girls. Could you see yourself with any of them? If so, try talking to them. I am in my second year of community college. I usually just go to the library and start picking up random girls. If you have a good opener you will have no issue with getting your foot in the door. |
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| Author: | Raiden2k2 [ Fri Oct 12, 2012 4:49 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Best approach advice I've read has come from a great blog called, yourcharismacoach.com It's absolutely superb full of great information all free, including a brilliant free book, and an even better newsletter. I used to overthink approaches, with canned lines and routines, until I came up with shorter and more natural ways of approaching people, all learned from this guy. |
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| Author: | Hunter9 [ Sun Oct 14, 2012 9:28 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Thanks guys, All your advice is helpfull and I have thought about hanging around the library, Im going to try and start talking to girls in the library, With the way I the computers are set up I could probably sit at one next to a girl and open a set by getting the girl to come over and get their opinion on something on my screen. I have already thought of a topic and that is fancy dress costumes for an upcoming halloween party im going to. Yea man, I think im overthiking it, at the end of the day its just starting a type of conversation where Im trying to build a sexual and emotional connection not building a rocket to mars out of things in my shed haha. Thanks again guys |
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| Author: | Tr@veler [ Sun Oct 14, 2012 11:26 pm ] |
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This is something that should not be crossing your mind. But of couse it does. Remember, you are the one who is choosing them out there, in the sense that, you have your own criteria for the type of girl that you want. This includes things like her being open when you approach her. If she "rejects" you then she did not screen well for your criteria. On to the next one. And the next one. And the next one until you find one that screens well. Then you begin to screen her for other criteria. The anxiety you feel in the beginning is something you just cannot shake. Unfortunately. However, what you can do is face your fear and take action. This will separate you from most people out there. People who want something but don't do anything about it. If you go in with full confidence and congruence from the beginning of the interaction, then your chances will be higher. Think of it like this: You go in with a shakey, trembling voice, your body language is close to nonexistent, and your eye contact is all over the place. Your tonality resembles a little girl seeking approval. You have set the frame of someone who is unsure of himself and who does not know what he wants or how to get it. If you somehow manage to get her to talk to you like this, then she will talk to you in such a frame. The frame of you seeking approval. If however you go in with a certainty of what you want, and a certainty of knowing how you will get it, your body language automatically adjusted, your vocal tonality and eye contact spot on, and she opens up to you and talks to you, suddenly the frame is set that you are a person who knows what he wants and goes for it and knows how to get it. Why is this important? Because this conveys one type of value to her, the traits of a dominant alpha man. You don't actually have to be an alpha male, just exert the traits OF an alpha male. If you set the frame in your social circle that you hit on chicks blatantly and can shrug it off if rejected, then no one will judge you because you're "just that guy who talks to girls and people" and you behavior will be accepted. If however you are someone who DOESN'T do so, and you suddenly hit on a chick, people will realize this unexpected behavior and it will be noticed and possibly even judged upon. This is why setting the frame and staying congruent with it is important. How do you do this though? You must know what you want first of all. Then you must also know that you can do it. That you can get it. How? Through experience mostly, through progress, but also through finding self worth within yourself to know that you actually deserve this. You are worthy of this. I advise people to read. Read all the shit that you can. However go out and practice. This is of course detrimental, because without going out there will never be any results whatsoever. You must go for it. Since going for what you want is an alpha trait, you are already exerting one alpha trait here. If you do this with confidence, then there is another one. All you really need to do is walk up to a girl, tap her on the shoulder, say "Hey, this is gonna be random, but I thought you were adorable and I wanted to say hi" and stick out your hand, begin a conversation, and if you like her for who she is, you will probably most likely want to see her again and spend more time with her. Since you want to spend more time with her, why not now? Go for an instant date. If that is logistically not possible, get her number and set a date then and there. This is called a game plan - a broad one, the only one you really need. No routines or anything. Know what you will do. Do it. Keep doing it. Repeat it. Read up on how to handle shit tests, but more importantly WHY you handle them so. Read up on being playful and teasing, and maybe sprinkle a little bit of cocky funny in there. Get a playful sexual mindset. Make a list of what you want in a girl, form the most basic things (she is open to your approach) to more complex things (she is educated, she is cultured, likes to travel, etc.) However, one of the most important things in here is that you must know what you want and become that and be congruent with it. Don't apologize for your behavior, since it is not abnormal and it is just what you want. Don't apologize for being the one that hits on girls. So what? Really? What can happen? People become jealous? People judge you for doing so? It is just what you want to do, what you like to do. Don't other guys like girls as well? It's just natural. If girls don't take kindly on you coming up to them and telling them they're cute, well that's their own fault or they've just had a bad day. Who knows? You went for what you want and they didn't screen well. Onto the next one who could be fun and add something to your life. |
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| Author: | Hunter9 [ Wed Oct 17, 2012 12:43 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Thanks Man, thats some good, detailed advice and your completely right about the alpha male qualities like choosing them and confidence and stuff. Everyone's advice has been awesome on this post, hopefully some more people keep having new advice again haha. Thanks to all you guys, you've all given me top quality advice |
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