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20 and still a virgin, never had a girlfriend :(
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Author:  ghostinthebay [ Wed Oct 03, 2012 11:43 pm ]
Post subject:  20 and still a virgin, never had a girlfriend :(
I'm 20 years old, and I am still a virgin. I never even had a girlfriend. This is not by choice :( I don't have the confidence to approach a girl, and I wouldn't know what to say if I did. I have bad social anxiety which makes it difficult to make friends, let alone a girlfriend. I feel left out considering the vast majority of people lost their virginity by now, or at the very least had one relationship. I've tried the dating sites zoosk, but the girls messaging me where fake, and where only to make me sign up for a paid membership. I also tried okcupid but out of the 17 girls I messaged only 2 messaged me back, and they lost interest in me soon after.

I feel like I am so far behind socially that I am never going to catch up. I'm thinking about just losing my virginity to a prostitute, I feel like I waited long enough. If any of you guys where in my situation at one point in your life please tell me how you got out of it. Oh and please don't give me the typical cliches, "she will come when you least expect it" or "its no big deal". Please PUA community, tell me how I get out of this rut and finally have the relationships I long for.
Author:  secretaznman [ Thu Oct 04, 2012 12:01 am ]
Post subject: 
i lost my virginity at 20, but soon after i had sex many more times after that so don't sweat it too much.

well it seems you have a serious ego problem and can't get out of your head about it. A lot of people will give advice and say, "Just go up to her and say hi u pussy!", but I know it isn't as easy as that for people who have never even kissed a girl. the fact is, some people just don't have the confidence, nor the people skills, to just start talking with women in general. This is where you need to seriously (and be fucking HONEST about it) examine yourself and see where you need to improve. If you still wear pokemon t-shirts, toss those and pickup some man clothes. Out of shape? start working out. Can't talk to people? Start by trying to just say "hi" to a few people a day, be conscious about your body language, and scale up from there. You first need to at least be able to hold a conversation with someone if you ever hope to get laid.

All these things will help you build up some confidence, but to really reach that "i don't give a fuck" level, you need to realize what it means to be an alpha male. I suggest checking out the link in my sig, it helped me reframed my thought patterns and image of myself (which I think is most important).

You may have heard this before, but meditation really helps. Seriously, wake up 15 minutes early every day and sit in silence. Just concentrate on your breath and don't try to fight against nor linger on any thoughts that come to mind. Just concentrate. The reason meditation is so key is because it helps you focus your mind and quiet the chatter that goes on in your mind when you see a woman. Once you get better at it, start meditating for longer periods...i really can't stress enough how useful a tool it is.
Author:  Don Horneone [ Thu Oct 04, 2012 12:02 am ]
Post subject:  Re: 20 and still a virgin, never had a girlfriend :(
At your age, I hadn't even kissed a girl properly, mainly due to my religious upbringing and extreme sexual repression. I won't even tell you how many more years it took me to lose my cherry.
Quote:
I'm thinking about just losing my virginity to a prostitute
I say no. That will taint you for the rest of your life, and trust me, waiting for as long as it takes to find a girl that you at least feel comfortable with and feel it's the right time for you is WORTH IT.
Quote:
Oh and please don't give me the typical cliches, "she will come when you least expect it" or "its no big deal"
No, thankfully we're not that lame, but what specifically are you looking for? Social anxiety happens for a reason. Why do you think that is? Have you considered counselling or reading up on therapeutic ways of dealing with your difficulties?
Quote:
I feel like I am so far behind socially that I am never going to catch up.
Seriously, in a decade's time, you'll laugh at the idea that you felt like you were in a rush at the age of 20. You have the luxury of time that many of us don't have!

I see this is your first post, so you've not even started dealing with the forum. You need to slow yourself down and take it a step at a time. Read stuff and have conversations, and above all, don't panic. I was MASSIVELY judgemental towards myself about my lack of experience in my twenties and it was horrible. Please spare yourself that. Just keep talking to people and things will get worked out, IN THE TIME THAT IS NEEDED.
Author:  will29 [ Thu Oct 04, 2012 6:12 am ]
Post subject:  Re: 20 and still a virgin, never had a girlfriend :(
Quote:
I'm 20 years old, and I am still a virgin. I never even had a girlfriend. This is not by choice :( I don't have the confidence to approach a girl, and I wouldn't know what to say if I did. I have bad social anxiety which makes it difficult to make friends, let alone a girlfriend. I feel left out considering the vast majority of people lost their virginity by now, or at the very least had one relationship. I've tried the dating sites zoosk, but the girls messaging me where fake, and where only to make me sign up for a paid membership. I also tried okcupid but out of the 17 girls I messaged only 2 messaged me back, and they lost interest in me soon after.

I feel like I am so far behind socially that I am never going to catch up. I'm thinking about just losing my virginity to a prostitute, I feel like I waited long enough. If any of you guys where in my situation at one point in your life please tell me how you got out of it. Oh and please don't give me the typical cliches, "she will come when you least expect it" or "its no big deal". Please PUA community, tell me how I get out of this rut and finally have the relationships I long for.
At least you're not 31
Author:  Don Horneone [ Thu Oct 04, 2012 6:30 am ]
Post subject: 
To argue further on the prostitute thing, if you find it hard to make friends at the moment, how do you think it's going to feel when you do make friends and you get around to talking about sex? I'm pretty sure most people would rather have a friend who is still a virgin than a friend who gave up and went to a hooker. Maybe that's me being judgemental, but I think it's probably also true.

When you talk about social anxiety, how does that manifest itself and how extreme is it? I can get stuff like that when I'm around a lot of strangers, mainly I just find it draining, but obviously the trick is to learn to be gregarious so that strangers immediately become new friends! I've got a long way to go with that yet but this PUA stuff definitely helps as it reminds you where your balls are located and that you can go up to strangers and just EXPECT them to love you! Mystery Method is a bit cynical in that way in that it has a "social hook point" where people NO LONGER WANT YOU TO LEAVE. I think better to assume that people want you to be there from the very start, and most people will!

Just one helpful tip if you're not very familiar with the material - stimulating a woman's emotions IN ANY WAY is preferable to being nice and bland. It's a hard one to get your head round at first as we're encouraged to approach in a very nice and "respectful" way, but so many guys do that that you won't make an impression this way, unless you happen to be very good looking or have some amazing story about how you saved children in Africa or something. Better to risk being the annoying, over-the-top guy who actually pisses her off than being so nice that she will just file you along with all the other pleasant guys who didn't make her feel ANYTHING she wasn't accustomed to.
Author:  AnAFCslife [ Thu Oct 04, 2012 7:19 am ]
Post subject: 
yeah, the first step is always the hardest. That fear of rejection when you go out for the first time to try to sarge...
Author:  Fvckitimout [ Thu Oct 04, 2012 7:44 am ]
Post subject: 
PUA may seem like the hard way at first.

Developing your sense of self, knowing how to connect with people, learning how to cultivate an intimate relationship, being able to fully realize one's self as a man by fucking women that attracts him, and most of all not giving up.

Fucking a protitute symbolizes you giving up. You are pretty young 20 years old, one thing i know having lived 5 years more than you is that those people who go for the easy way dont live a very satisfying life.

Id say it would take you 6 months to a year to learn how to socialize. You dont need to actually pick someone up. Make female friends, constantly step out of your comfort zone. It may seem like the boring answer but its the best way.
Author:  LD [ Thu Oct 04, 2012 8:10 am ]
Post subject: 
Hey mate,

Poor you. In the words of Mr T: quit your jibbajabbah! Quit QQ, stop being a self pitying vagina. Dont take this as a flame, take it as an order!

The only things you need to start with pua is a wish to change and the balls to do so. Read up, go out and try. Listen to some audiotracks, go out and try. No balls no glory, no pain no gain.

Dont expect us to feed you the home backed answer to your problem. I know you arent really expecting this from us, but still. You want to know how to get out of this rut? its simple: DO. Do something, anything, instead of sitting inert and cry (i know you arent really crying). Where to start? Geesh anywhere! Except perhaps in a gaybar. Any program will do. Do, learn, grow confident, do some more, learn some more, grow more confident. Even if you havent had one good conversation, the mere fact that you did something, that you had the balls to actually do something to change, puts you above the others who can only complain and cry.

I said it before, this is a community. That means if you go out and you experience something that you dont understand, that you dont know how to respond to, rest assure: we here for you to help you in your experiences, on one ocndition: being that you actually experience/do something.

So get up, grow some balls and do. There is no better time then now.

cheers and good luck
Author:  baracuda [ Fri Oct 05, 2012 7:24 pm ]
Post subject: 
I lost my virginity at 19 before that i had zero friends an i was the shyest guy iv ever met now i have loads of friends and im on about 150+ women im 24 today you can always change who you are
back then i didnt have pua your lucky you have it.
Maybe im being a little harsh because it only took me 3 nights out to lose my cherry fortunatly a couple of older guys from my work took me out i was 19 an never been in a bar before that Although i went major afc on the girl an well that near had me suicidal i never had AA in bars so its probably harder for you but at the end of the day When you see a girl leaving your bedroom in the morning trying to squeeze her arse into a pair of jeans 2 sizes too small you realise shes just another person trying to get by
Author:  puaninja [ Fri Oct 05, 2012 7:42 pm ]
Post subject: 
Lots of guys lose their virginity later in life, myself included. The obvious solution is to not give up and try to better yourself on every level possible. More specifically, you need to diversify the way in which you encounter women. Clearly, trying to hookup with classmates hasn't worked. Doesn't mean that you should give up on classmates, but you can't just say "I try to talk to girls at school but it doesn't work."

I've had some great success online. I had success at speed dating. I've had success with women I worked with. I've met girls through friends who set us up. I've met girls at bars as well. I hear salsa dancing is a good place to pull women as well, tho I've personally never been there. Each location has different types of women and you may be more comfortable and more successful at certain places rather than others. But again, this is all about putting in the time, researching stuff, being sociable, and putting yourself out there. So you need to take steps towards doing all of those things. It's not easy and may take a lot more time and effort before you acheive what you want. It has to be worth it to you otherwise you'll never do what is required to meet women and have sex with them.
Author:  Reality Show [ Sat Oct 06, 2012 9:00 am ]
Post subject: 
I think you probably need to overhaul your life.

1. Get respect from men. Organize events, talk trash to your buddies, create parties. This way you know what it's like to lead a woman and have something to invite her into.
2. Hang out and talk to every woman you can. Grandma, Mom, sister, cousins etc. Any womans energy is a start.
3. Make your bed before you go out. Prepare your room and logistics to bring the girl home.
4. Do everything and anything you can to show off to women. Learn to dance. Go to an open mic night and perform anything (women will approach you afterwards).
Author:  will29 [ Sat Oct 13, 2012 2:42 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I have a lot of life experience, a lot more success than my friends and have studied this shit like crazy and it's still way way too hard for me. Maybe I'm flawed. Who knows. But I am gonna keep truckin.

I think you probably need to fix your lifestyle from the ground up before you can land girls. But I just started banging girls I am scared to see naked. I am spending time with girls at work etc, that I was totally not attracted to, but after flirting with them long enough, seeing them go through their cycles and them being fertile, you get attracted to them. Now I want to fuck the semi ugly chicks too. Surround yourself with women and keep lowering your bar until something clicks. One of the last girls I fucked, I thought I might get grossed out, but her face looked real good while she gave me the best deep throat blow job ever. Her big tits gave me great satisfaction I didn't expect, she had the tightest pussy, flicked her hips in an unprecedented way while riding me where I kept thinking I would explode each time and had a huge ass I actually loved once I was fucking her. Before that I thought, damn, she is kind of fat. Now I am attracted to that. Oh and she was a great kisser and had awesome energy. I have fucked girls in dangerous situations and that was great practice too. Gang members, drugs, threat of violence, boyfriends joining in. Crazy shit. Some of us need to start lower on the totem pole. But it was worth it.

So fucking lower your bar. Just keep it legal.

I think you probably need to overhaul your life.

1. Get respect from men. Organize events, talk trash to your buddies, create parties. This way you know what it's like to lead a woman and have something to invite her into.
2. Hang out and talk to every woman you can. Grandma, Mom, sister, cousins etc. I said some fucked up shit to my cousin once as a joke, then a few weeks later in a bar, I said the same shit to this super hot girl and stole her away from 4 serious players. Practice practice practice. I've even taken 60+ year olds out to dinner after dancing classes. Any womans energy is a start.
3. Make your bed before you go out. Prepare your room and logistics to bring the girl home.
4. Do everything and anything you can to show off to women. Learn to dance. Go to an open mic night and perform anything (women will approach you afterwards). I just started fucking party chicks. They hang out at parties and they fuck the leaders. Become the leader. The girls that approach you, escalate escalate escalate.

I just fucked a party chick this week who blew my mind.

I lost my virginity in college too.


The family stuff is something I can't overcome. And I just want to sarge, have a hookup, I don't want to take salsa or dance classes or anything. I just want to sexually flirt with women right on the spot. I guess, clubs, bars, and hot tubs would be my tools.
Author:  beingattractive [ Sat Oct 13, 2012 2:55 am ]
Post subject: 
hey brother, i was in the same exact shoes as your in. my dad is kinda anti-social at times so growing up we never really had people over or never really went to gatherings or even socialize with other family members lol i believe thats part of the reason that I grew up as a very shy, introverted, anti-social kid, all the way up to college. so talking to women was like the most nervous experience for me, i would literately start sweating, like instantly lol

Man when I read your post, not going to lie, it brought a tear to my eye... sounds like your in a miserable place right now and it brought back memories for me. I used to honestly think that I was gunna end up dieing alone...

I decided to fix this, meet hundreds of women, came across one that i liked and now im married!

send me a pm with your email or im or something, i want to help you brother
Author:  *FlaiR* [ Sat Oct 13, 2012 3:33 pm ]
Post subject: 
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k51zX4kIoGs[/youtube]
Author:  magic_fingers [ Sun Oct 14, 2012 2:00 am ]
Post subject: 
Im 23 and still virgin... im reading books and learning but not really trying it in public...
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