PUA Forum :: back with ex

I dont mean to sound like an asshole but what the fuck are you doing?! You got back together with her on the premises that you will fix all the things on yourself that she wants you to fix and that are wrong with you according to HER?! Do you agree, when looking in the mirror, with her demands or do you want to continue the life you lead and find someone who actually accepts you the way you are without any strings attached?

Why would you need to become the you when you met? Provided that you didnt meet her last week, people change, some for the better, some for the worse and some have their phases, ups and downs, thats life.

The real value issue here is that you will continue to lose value in her eyes as long as you keep jumping through her hoops. This will result in her being bored, find new shit thats wrong with you just to keep her leading position up and still let her eyes "wonder off" or whatever bullshit she said.

My man, to not make this into a huge post i would advise you to take the leading role in your relationship. You have decided to stick with this chick but do NOT let her be a mom-figure. Nothing good comes from these types of relationships, trust me. Regain the frame, do what makes YOU feel good and improves the quality of YOUR OWN life not what she directs.

Tony, I think he is saying that he was outgoing, had friends, did his own thing, etc...When they met which made him attractive, but after he started dating her, he began to stop doing all of those things and focus only on her/their relationship.

She probably felt smothered. Just my interpretation of course.

Peace...

How long were you guys broken up for?

Quote:

I like this! thanks man, I agree with her that i have let my career suffer and my social life, and now im going to make my self my main priority!

Author:	tostrong [ Wed Oct 03, 2012 6:20 pm ]
Post subject:	back with ex
Got back with my ex girlfriend, we broke up because she said thing didn't feel the same (aka she lost attraction), and said her eyes were wondering. Any way we spent some time apart, she said she loved me, missed me, and wanted to be with me but was not sure if I am the guy she wants to spend her life with, I still have feelings for her. She told me she lost attraction because I stopped making my self a priority, I stopped working on my self and my life, and it turned her off. She started thinking about dating other men which she agreed was not ok and the reason we broke up. I also become kind of jealous near the end which did not help the situation. Any way we talked it out last night and decided to get back together and make things work. She said she would stop putting her self in bad situations and I agreed that I needed to focus more on my self, my career ect ect and get back to were I was when we met. She told me she still loves me like crazy, she still find me attractive, so it was obviously a value issue...I let me self become a beta looser! So now that we are back together what advice do you guys have for me? Anyone been in the same situation?

Author:	96Firebird [ Wed Oct 03, 2012 6:28 pm ]
Post subject:
How long were you guys broken up for?

Author:	Crypto [ Wed Oct 03, 2012 6:58 pm ]
Post subject:
Tony, I think he is saying that he was outgoing, had friends, did his own thing, etc...When they met which made him attractive, but after he started dating her, he began to stop doing all of those things and focus only on her/their relationship. She probably felt smothered. Just my interpretation of course. Peace...

Author:	tostrong [ Wed Oct 03, 2012 7:05 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: I dont mean to sound like an asshole but what the fuck are you doing?! You got back together with her on the premises that you will fix all the things on yourself that she wants you to fix and that are wrong with you according to HER?! Do you agree, when looking in the mirror, with her demands or do you want to continue the life you lead and find someone who actually accepts you the way you are without any strings attached? Why would you need to become the you when you met? Provided that you didnt meet her last week, people change, some for the better, some for the worse and some have their phases, ups and downs, thats life. The real value issue here is that you will continue to lose value in her eyes as long as you keep jumping through her hoops. This will result in her being bored, find new shit thats wrong with you just to keep her leading position up and still let her eyes "wonder off" or whatever bullshit she said. My man, to not make this into a huge post i would advise you to take the leading role in your relationship. You have decided to stick with this chick but do NOT let her be a mom-figure. Nothing good comes from these types of relationships, trust me. Regain the frame, do what makes YOU feel good and improves the quality of YOUR OWN life not what she directs. I like this! thanks man, I agree with her that i have let my career suffer and my social life, and now im going to make my self my main priority!

Author:	tostrong [ Wed Oct 03, 2012 7:07 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Tony, I think he is saying that he was outgoing, had friends, did his own thing, etc...When they met which made him attractive, but after he started dating her, he began to stop doing all of those things and focus only on her/their relationship. She probably felt smothered. Just my interpretation of course. Peace... yes exactly. thats basically what she told me

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Author:	tostrong [ Wed Oct 03, 2012 7:08 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: How long were you guys broken up for? 2 weeks.

Author:	Crypto [ Wed Oct 03, 2012 7:10 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Quote: I dont mean to sound like an asshole but what the fuck are you doing?! You got back together with her on the premises that you will fix all the things on yourself that she wants you to fix and that are wrong with you according to HER?! Do you agree, when looking in the mirror, with her demands or do you want to continue the life you lead and find someone who actually accepts you the way you are without any strings attached? Why would you need to become the you when you met? Provided that you didnt meet her last week, people change, some for the better, some for the worse and some have their phases, ups and downs, thats life. The real value issue here is that you will continue to lose value in her eyes as long as you keep jumping through her hoops. This will result in her being bored, find new shit thats wrong with you just to keep her leading position up and still let her eyes "wonder off" or whatever bullshit she said. My man, to not make this into a huge post i would advise you to take the leading role in your relationship. You have decided to stick with this chick but do NOT let her be a mom-figure. Nothing good comes from these types of relationships, trust me. Regain the frame, do what makes YOU feel good and improves the quality of YOUR OWN life not what she directs. I like this! thanks man, I agree with her that i have let my career suffer and my social life, and now im going to make my self my main priority! If you make yourself your main priority then you have gone to the opposite extreem! You need to have a life of your own, but also a life you share with her. Find a balance and don't be affraid to dissapoint her when you have plans with your friends and she gives you a shit test saying "I want to hang out and cuddle on the couch and watch a movie with you tonight!" In this case, you need to say "I made plans and don't want to ditch them"! Basically, stand your ground! Peace...

Author:	theurbanwarrior [ Wed Oct 03, 2012 7:13 pm ]
Post subject:
This is an interesting topic. I know I have been in this situation a couple of times, where I regressed to AFC mode (im sure a lot of guys have as well) Its cool that you are working on yourself and its cool that your girl was actually willing to discuss it, sounds like shes pretty committed. Im still looking for a way to stop from regressing, cos its a def attraction buzz kill. Theres tons of stuff out there for the "dating" part, but not so much for an actual relationship. So if theres other suggestions out there, i'd be interested to know it too.

Author:	tostrong [ Thu Oct 04, 2012 1:07 pm ]
Post subject:
Everything is going well so far, first day things were a bit awkward and uneasy but now things are getting back to normal, BUT she is shit testing me like CRAZY! she jokingly throws out insults about my looks, she talked about her other boyfriend (joking of course) shes really trying to get to me! I'm just laughing it all off! Im not taking it to seriously...

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