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First date, did I mess up?
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Author:  DM [ Mon Oct 01, 2012 8:06 am ]
Post subject:  First date, did I mess up?

So I went out with this girl I had been messaging for a while (I was away for 4 months, and could only fb chat). Anyways, we kicked it off really well, went for coffee & to a park which was good. Exchanged stories (she really wents balls out here, (shes 24) and she told me about how she was engaged when she was 19, and then broke it off w/ the guy.. Also she kept asking how old I was, which I never told her because I'm 4 years younger) laughed, and generally had a good time. I had solid kino during the thing, but when it came down to the kiss-- nothing. I played it off by asking "Are you always this shy", to which she responds, "Nope, I'm just not that easy". To be honest she seemed kind of reserved, and even though I felt that I would have a hard time getting a kiss, I wanted it to be out there that I was into her, and that this wasn't some LJBF bs. At this point I need advice with how and where to proceed, I'm stumped

Author:  Crypto [ Mon Oct 01, 2012 1:53 pm ]
Post subject: 

You did fine...If you get a Day2 then you are golden. It is ok for a girl to give you some LMR on a kiss. I usually try atleast twice to get the kiss. If I get rejected the first time and things don't get weird I will kino escalate and try again.

Peace...

Author:  Molly [ Mon Oct 01, 2012 3:40 pm ]
Post subject: 

When she pulled away from the kiss you should've backed up a couple steps and tried again more slowly, or you could've bounced her. Always be thinking how you can build sexual tension throughout the date. You shouldn't point out that a girl won't kiss you because then she'll try and defend herself. And every girl has a lot of stupid misconceptions in her mind that put time constraints on kissing and everything else, which if she doesn't follow she thinks she's being easy. If she felt that way she probably wasn't comfortable enough or didn't have a strong connection with you. But anyway, your date sounded fine, you'll probably get a second one. Just make sure she's aware that even though she's older, you're the one in charge.

Author:  Danzella [ Mon Oct 01, 2012 5:04 pm ]
Post subject: 

When a girl doesn't kiss you play it off like its no big deal, who cares right? Just build a little more comfort/sexual tension and go in for the kiss again.

Slow your talking, glance down at your lips and slowly move in towards her, act mesmerised, then kiss. Before now I was rejected 6 kiss closes in a row from the same girl in the same day, she turned away, smiled, I smiled and just carried on the conversation, she was giving me IOI's constantly, lots of Kino, the 7th try I got my kiss.

Basically, if she doesn't slap you, walk away or act repulsed, you're still in with a chance, persistence pays off.

Author:  DM [ Mon Oct 01, 2012 5:36 pm ]
Post subject: 

beautiful, thought as much :)

Author:  0uch [ Mon Oct 01, 2012 8:33 pm ]
Post subject: 

I think you screwed it up with her by hiding your age from her. You see, there is a thing called building comfort. And if your hiding little thing like your age, your messing up.

Author:  _Kangaroo [ Mon Oct 01, 2012 9:10 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: First date, did I mess up?

Quote:
I played it off by asking "Are you always this shy", to which she responds, "Nope, I'm just not that easy". To be honest she seemed kind of reserved, and even though I felt that I would have a hard time getting a kiss, I wanted it to be out there that I was into her, and that this wasn't some LJBF bs.
The part I highlighted in bold shows you are rationalizing why she didn't go for the kiss. Never assume. You went in for the kiss. She rejected. Not the end of the world.

A big indicator would have been how she responded when you tried to kiss her. More often than not a girl will reject the first kiss but still smile and enjoy it. Comfort is the big key here. If she rejects you, don't point it out or make it a big deal. Just smile and continue forth. Try to get her feel more comfortable. Whilst talking you can even look at her lips and then to her eyes

Throughout this interaction, she will no doubt be visualizing the next time you will try to kiss her and more importantly what it would be like.

As for the age thing, just tell her. It's not a big deal if you don't make it one. Hiding it will only make her more suspicious to why you are. Be honest about it. You can even talk about how you normally never date women older than you but there was something about her that you found attractive. That 'something' is what you genuinely like about her.

- Kang

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