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Negging gone terribly, terribly wrong...can I fix it?
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=146930		 Page 1 of 2
Author:  Butterson [ Thu Sep 27, 2012 4:20 pm ]
Post subject:  Negging gone terribly, terribly wrong...can I fix it?
Was out at a bar the other night when I saw an HB10 I've seen around a lot, I'm friends with some of her friends. I thought it was pretty obvious that she wears hair extensions or something like that, her hair is always so perfect, so I went up to her and opened with a gentle, standard "nice hair, where'd you get it from?" line

She gave me a little awkward laugh so I thought I'd done fine, but then when I tried to keep talking, she totally shut down. Just staring at the table/floor, saying "hmm" and "yeah" to everything I said, totally not into it based on her body language. Eventually I told her bye and saw her talking to her friend later, then she apparently left.

Talked to her friend about it later and she told me that she'd freaked out because I "noticed she wears a wig" and that's one of the things she's most self-conscious about. She has severe trichotillomania and has pulled most of her hair out to a point where she's nearly bald, and she's always worried about someone pointing out that her wig doesn't look quite right on her.

Never expected that in a million years, and needless to say I feel like a total jerk. I know you're never supposed to apologize for a neg, but in this case, should I?
Author:  Horus new god of love [ Thu Sep 27, 2012 4:26 pm ]
Post subject: 
geez ur such a fuckin ass. lmao jk, no wat u need to do is when u c her agin simply walk up to her and say ur apologies and say it look great on her, and ud like to take her out in fact. the wrk sum routines in it. i mean unless ur a total shollow jerk that cares that she's bald and is no longer interested, in that case fuck her ya jerk lol
Author:  mmo73 [ Thu Sep 27, 2012 4:45 pm ]
Post subject: 
I wouldn't mention or reference it again.

In fact, I think it will take minimal comfort building, she should be qualifying herself to you next time she sees you.....if she sees you.

you may have scared her to the point where she doesn't wanna be around you, knowing you know her secret and could expose her.

flirt.

If she's willing to be around you, the hardest part is finished.
Author:  RGoldaline [ Thu Sep 27, 2012 5:12 pm ]
Post subject: 
buy her a wig
Author:  HeavyRota8tion [ Thu Sep 27, 2012 5:19 pm ]
Post subject: 
I've said it before and I'll say it again, drop negging entirely. It's one thing being funny, perhaps even "cocky funny", but another being downright insulting and intentionally acting to try to diminish a girl's self esteem as a pickup tactic. Negs don't work, bottom line. The only time you perceive them to work is when the girl ALREADY has a vested interest in you. In the end, who wants to hangout with someone who intermittently feeds them offhanded compliments.
Author:  96Firebird [ Thu Sep 27, 2012 5:24 pm ]
Post subject: 
Yes, you need to be a man and apologize. There's no way you could have seen that coming, but it happened. And it deserves an apology.

Next time you see her out, walk up to her say, "I feel I need to apologize for last time, lets speak in private for a second." Then isolate her for a moment and apologize, tell her you had no idea she wore a wig and feel horrible about making that comment. Throw in a, "To be honest, I think it looks great on you." After you apologize, lead her back to the group and continue as usual.

Check with the friend first to see if she really knows you know she wears a wig. Don't want to start a feud between friends in case she wasn't supposed to tell you.
Author:  mmo73 [ Thu Sep 27, 2012 5:27 pm ]
Post subject: 
I just think apologizing confirms what you know which may make her feel awkward. Thats why I say pretend it never happened.
Author:  charblad [ Thu Sep 27, 2012 5:28 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I've said it before and I'll say it again, drop negging entirely. It's one thing being funny, perhaps even "cocky funny", but another being downright insulting and intentionally acting to try to diminish a girl's self esteem as a pickup tactic. Negs don't work, bottom line. The only time you perceive them to work is when the girl ALREADY has a vested interest in you. In the end, who wants to hangout with someone who intermittently feeds them offhanded compliments.
I've also said it over and over again, Negging either slightly helps or destroys attraction, if you think you know how to do it, you probly don't and it will destroy your relationships, it's not required, it's not easy to learn, and all I ever hear is how people fucked it up
DON'T FUCKING NEG
Especially as an opener, wtf were u thinking..
Author:  HeavyRota8tion [ Thu Sep 27, 2012 5:30 pm ]
Post subject: 
There are almost always opportunities to fix things. I'd own up to it and apologize, but don't over apologize. E.g., "Hey , I want to apologize for the hurtful remark. Sorry, I did not mean to be disrespectful, I was just having fun, but I apologize."

I apologize often, it takes a big man to admit he's made a mistake and own up to it.
Author:  Crypto [ Thu Sep 27, 2012 5:58 pm ]
Post subject: 
What the Fuck would you apologize for? Did you know she had fucking personal issues that caused her to pull her own fucking hair out? NO you didnt! So what the fuck are you apoligizing for? Go up to her and open her again, I am sure she will know (via her friend who told you about her) that you now know the truth, and you still show interest in her! She will then have two choices, accept you and talk or pull away and dismiss your advances. Either way, you didn't do anything wrong!!!!


Peace...
Author:  JamesWatson31 [ Thu Sep 27, 2012 6:42 pm ]
Post subject: 
I would try and get her alone for a few seconds and then say something like " I thought you had extensions not a wig and I am sorry if I offended you".

Then keep her isolated, get a drink ready for her and change the fucking subject ASAP.


Yes of course try and pull her but even if she is not into you then she will not think of you as a jerk and guess what then happens?

She may have hot friends or sisters. Yum Yum:).
Author:  Body Language [ Thu Sep 27, 2012 7:32 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I would try and get her alone for a few seconds and then say something like " I thought you had extensions not a wig and I am sorry if I offended you".
What the fuck is he apologizing for here? The only thing he did wrong was not fuck her!
Quote:
Then keep her isolated, get a drink ready for her and change the fucking subject ASAP.
WHAATTTT!!!????? Buying people drinks and shying away from difficult subject, at what point in your life were you doing things like that? Around say maybe when you were an AFC huh?


My advice: next time you see her walk (strut like Tom Cruise) straight up to her, take her hand and hold it, look her in the eyes, hold eye contact and say I didn't get to introduce myself before I am *General cock up LOL*.
Author:  Hunter_Foxe [ Thu Sep 27, 2012 7:45 pm ]
Post subject: 
I never open with a neg and when I do use them I only ever say them in a playful flirtatious way. Normally as a backhanded compliment and it works much better than an unexplained out of context comment.

The problem with your opener is you didn't establish any comfort or rapport before throwing in the neg. Even if you had said, "Hey I really like your hair. Is it real?" that would've been better than your opener.

But as others have said, the wig neg from The Game is so 2006. It's old shit and real PUAs don't need to rely on negs for good game.
Author:  MAX_POWER [ Thu Sep 27, 2012 7:56 pm ]
Post subject: 
NOT your fault at all OP. You had no idea to know this about the girl you met. Might still want to apologize though (women :lol: hehe) then go in with a more subtle neg. Make it seem moreso like a playful joke, would be my advice.
Author:  Crypto [ Thu Sep 27, 2012 8:01 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
NOT your fault at all OP. You had no idea to know this about the girl you met. Might still want to apologize though (women :lol: hehe) then go in with a more subtle neg. Make it seem moreso like a playful joke, would be my advice.
WTF? "Hey I am sorry that I hurt your feelings because I didn't know you were crazy!" and then "Yes your ass does look fat in those jeans!" This will get her in the sack for sure!!!

/Sarcasm off


Peace...
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