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Pickup with special needs/being disabled
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Author:  antony0 [ Tue Sep 25, 2012 6:52 pm ]
Post subject:  Pickup with special needs/being disabled
Hey guys, great to meet you all. I posted this on sticking points but putting it here too so hopefully more eyes see it.

I'm from the UK, studying PUA like crazy and made a commitment to be out in pubs/clubs twice a week until I master this!

I've also been really immersed in NLP etc (not just knowing it, I use it every day) and consider myself quite knowledgeable in communication and had my success in business.

Now what is different about me, I have a physical disability! I can walk and talk rather well, but use a power chair for long distances. When in social situations I prefer to dump my chair and walk around, I'm not ashamed of it, I just find it bloody hard to talk to people when I'm 2 feet under them. I'm interested in what you think about this choice?

Now to get to my biggest sticking point, my voice! It just sucks, I can be understood pretty well in quiet environments but in noisy pubs where it's already bloody hard it gets challenging. And going up to a random girl and saying a huge line then not being understood is just a nightmare!

Up until recently I hated approaching and couldn't do it at all. I'm getting better though and even when up to 2 girls full of anxiety and just said 'fuck me', but shit, they chatted to me for 30mins after that!!

I have another one I want to try, but haven't managed to yet. 'excuse me, can I ask you a question, I have a disability, and I want to get laid tonight, what do you think I should do?' - what do you reckon any good as a direct one?

When I'm really in my zone and confident, I am naturally really cocky and funny, and blending more PUA elements into it I'm really confident I could take a girl home if I get in my zone and past approach more often. So my biggest question and sticking point is how do I really get over my approach challenge 100%, how do I deal with my obvious physical difference and shit voice?

Secondly, it's all about DHV, but there's a small part of me that thinks she can have a physically normal guy, why pick the disabled one. What do you think?

I am definitely getting better. For example I used to hate being in a bar on my own but now I actually enjoy it and feel confident as I'm there to enjoy myself! I have to take this to the next level though.
Author:  Crypto [ Tue Sep 25, 2012 7:52 pm ]
Post subject: 
You sound like you are doing a great job so far! This is not something that you will overcome in a few days/weeks, sometimes years, but if you stick with it you will be successful. Women see with their eyes and logically think "he is cute" or "he is not cute". The problem is that women (most) are not driven by their logical thoughts, but rather by their emotional thoughts. Your confidence makes them feel something emotional, and thus even with your disability many girls will be attracted to you emotionally which will get you laid once you figure it out.

Keep doing what you are doing, if you need the chair at times, make it fun "Hey girl, you wanna ride me?" then if she acts all offended, look at her and just say "Vroom, vroom" while pretending to turn the throttle on a motorcycle. If she is worth anything she will find it funny and then you have her emotions.


Peace...
Author:  antony0 [ Thu Sep 27, 2012 9:15 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thanks for the support and advice Crypto!

Oh I've done the sit on my lap thing many times, but it used to be friendly as I was unsure. Now though I get kino in there and go for a kiss, it works!!

The biggest thing like I said is that my voice isn't always the easiest to understand.

Once I get over approach I'm getting really good at escalating. Do you have any advice for me approaching bearing in mind I'm not the easiest person to understand initially?
Author:  antony0 [ Fri Oct 19, 2012 10:43 pm ]
Post subject: 
Hey guys, any thoughts on the above?
Author:  LD [ Fri Oct 19, 2012 11:12 pm ]
Post subject: 
Hey mate!

Look, every weakness is only a weakness if you think it is a weakness. Sounds very Buddha, i know, but it is true. it is all how you look upon it and what your beliefs are.

You should think of every weakness as something you can use. Actually, every weakness can be turned into an asset, a strength. You are disabled, yet you have managed to use it into your advantage (dont abuse it though :)). that is really good. But i hope you see the irony here, while you are able to overcome your disability, you have trouble with something as trivial as your voice.

But no worries :)! So your voice is weak. Excellent! you know the outcome when you say something with your weak voice in a loud bar, girls will not understand what you are saying. Well my friend, that is actually a perfect situation for a very balsy move :). And while handicapped, i still think you got balls enough to pull it off!

Instead of feeling awkward because they dont understand what you are saying, i would expect it! Dont try to speak loud, but pretend you are. You expect that they will not hear you, so you get closer. and you make lesser effort of making yourself clear while making more effort in pretending you want to be heared. Then roll with your eyes while smiling as in saying: this is hopeless, go straight to her, take her by the shoulders while bringing your mouth to her ear and then gently say in her ear: i think you are mighty hot. then look her dead in the eyes with a confident smile.

that is how i would make my weak voice into a strong weapon. I really like how you are dare to be direct. I respect you for that.

then on a sidenote: i hate DHV. I my opinion, you dont need to demonstrate higher value. you need to be higher value.

more: you say: why pick me where she can have a physically normal guy. I can understand you think that. Hell, i think i would feel that way as well. But women really want a strong man. Somebody that goes for what he wants. and the harder it is to get there, the more value you show if you reach it. No obstacle can be to big. That is a strong man, somebody that goes and keeps on going.

All strength starts in the head mate. And i believe you are stronger then most other 'physically normal' guys.

I dont really care if you use my 'trick'. My point is: turn your weakness into strength. With a bit of creativity, all weakness can be turned into strength.

cheers and good luck!
Author:  antony0 [ Fri Oct 19, 2012 11:34 pm ]
Post subject: 
LD, that is golden mate thank you so much!

The outcome is for them NOT to understand me, so simple and so clever.

I like that and want to try it tomorrow, 2 questions though, leaning into her, isn't that a no no? And a direct compliment? You think it'll work when I'm balsy and confident?

So I basically forget about how to get my voice out and focus on her hearing me and fully engaging with her? I really get what you mean!

You hate DHV, hilarious and I love it, completely agree, people with higher value don't need to 'show' it!

the harder it is to get there, the more value you show if you reach it - I really like that!

Do you have any tips for day game? Out and about in my chair, Starbucks, waitresses, on the train, the street? This is a piece I'm still working on approaching and saying something balsy, especially if we are stuck in proximity ie next to me on a plane.

Cheers
Author:  poeticlyskuac [ Fri Oct 19, 2012 11:55 pm ]
Post subject: 
I don't know if you know who Sean Stephenson is, but I am a HUGE fan of his. and-you-thought-looks-mattered-vt20942.html Check this link out it has a bunch of his videos. He also has a book call Get off your But. He is a disabled guy who actually has pretty good skills with women, he is referred to as the 3 ft Giant. VERY charismatic guy.

Crypto was absolutely right, your worth as a man is not limited to your "disability" but by your own mental perception of yourself. The point is not to focus on your short comings but on your brilliance we all have short comings, I'm sure you are far better for a ton of woman then some of these asshole guys who are as you put it physically "normal", a mind is far better than a body.
Quote:
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
― Eleanor Roosevelt, This is My Story
Any woman you would want to date shouldn't give a fuck about the body you are, but the PERSON you are. You as a person should be far more important than the fact that you can't walk long distances.

There is something that I would like to mention, your value isn't how you are measuring it (physicality). Men are lucky our value as a Mate especially in this day and age isn't limited to our physical assets. How you make them feel is especially important you making them smile/laugh makes them feel good, they associate that good feeling with you and thus you become attractive to them. Just keep making them smile and laugh as you talked about and your good.

As far as picking up women with your disability I would likely focus on day game. This will give you the ability to not fight with the noise levels in the area, perhaps restaurants but pubs may be a lousy way for you to go out looking to meet women if you have trouble early in a conversation.

If she is having a hard time with deciphering what you are saying make a joke of it, you say you got some wit, just say something like well actually "I just mumble to get girls in my personal space then let them take advantage of me." Use your sense of humor here as it will help break the ice.

I liked LD s advice, figure out a way to use it to your strength. I'm not sure I would be that direct.

Getting into your conversation is difficult but figure some opener that is canned and specific to you. Hell roll up and straight say to them, "so I hear anyone rolling around here got free drinks from the blonde over here." "Some guy over there said you liked guys with nice wheels, just got new ones what do you think?"

If they have a hard time understanding say it again, most people won't be rude enough to ignore a man, they'll simply ask what?

Honestly in some aspects you have an advantage because you are non-threatening to most women to begin with and it is a conversation that starts out non-sexual and is thus easier to begin.

There is literally any number of ways you can talk to a girl, honestly I think you have to just keep fighting through it. As you get more confident with interactions I think you will just begin to speak clearer (at least it sounded like you said you speak more clear once you are more comfortable). If you would like you can joke about it some, I'm not sure how stable you are with joking about it but I tend to joke about being fat, arrogant, etc., humility can gain you a lot points and it is one of the keys to charisma. Own up to it and don't be ashamed of it.

Peace and Love,

Vic
Author:  Guestafc [ Sat Oct 20, 2012 12:00 am ]
Post subject: 
Hey dude, I think this youtube vid demonstrates pretty well that disabilities wont matter that much: /watch?v=64Ixzp94ksw

had to put link that way wouldnt let me post otherwise lol, anyway youtube that


hope i was of assistance and goodluck!
Author:  poeticlyskuac [ Sat Oct 20, 2012 12:03 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Hey dude, I think this youtube vid demonstrates pretty well that disabilities wont matter that much: /watch?v=64Ixzp94ksw

had to put link that way wouldnt let me post otherwise lol, anyway youtube that


hope i was of assistance and goodluck!
There you go bro.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=64Ixzp94ksw[/youtube]
Author:  will29 [ Sat Oct 20, 2012 6:07 am ]
Post subject: 
There's a guy who I have been talking to on facebook. He has cerebral palsey and is in a relationship with a hot older woman who acts like she's still in her 20s. he's 26, she's somewhere in her 40s and she's a female bodybuilder too.
Author:  LD [ Sun Oct 21, 2012 6:30 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
LD, that is golden mate thank you so much!
No problem man, my pleasure :)
Quote:
The outcome is for them NOT to understand me, so simple and so clever.

I like that and want to try it tomorrow, 2 questions though, leaning into her, isn't that a no no? And a direct compliment? You think it'll work when I'm balsy and confident?
About the leaning in: Yeah, that is some kind of a generally accepted PUA rule.
I cant really explain what i mean, but i think its correct to say that some character flaws or emotions are shown in mannerisms and behaviour. Leaning in would stand for showing interest and for some reason it is believed that showing interest is not done.

I should warn you, because when you ask about stuff like that the way you did it, indicates me that you might take it too literally. See those 'rules' more as a guidance.

Also, it would not be just leaning in. Mate, you are acting out :). You make clear with simple body language that there is too much noise, so what do you do? You make this 'come here' gesture with your hand and she will understand you are actually trying to say something to her :).

there is also this notion about compliments and something like: dont compliment or dont compliment too much.

the way i see it: Give a compliment when she deserves it and when you mean it, a genuine compliment. Dont give compliments when you want her to like you. You are doing it wrong then.

Example: there is this girl who is considered to be very pretty and she is in the volleyball team. You saw her play in a match and you think she is actually pretty good. Well, when you see her it is ok to say: "hey, i saw you play, i think you are amazing in playing volleyball. " However, many guys who just know that she plays volleyball can say that, so prove to her that you compliment is something she deserved by giving examples, like: "hey, i saw you play and i think you play amazing! Really, my jaw fell open when i saw you smash that ball in the other girl her face". You see, you were genuinely impressed and that is what you convey to her. That is ok. Dont tell her: "hey, i think you have lovely shoes." Who cares about the shoes?

Furthermore it is not a good idea to think off balsy moves and being direct as a trick. You ask: "being balsy and direct will work" as if you think of it as a technique. It should be the way you are. And what way is that? Strong, as in going for what you want and not be afraid of anything (in this case cold blooded rejection). Some women will love it, others will look shocked and reject. But! And there is a but in here... there will be very very few who will be disrespectful, as in making a fool out of you or make you look like an ass. And i know this because of experience, lots of it. so, to answer that question, I dont think IT will work. Me! it is ME who will make it work!
Quote:
So I basically forget about how to get my voice out and focus on her hearing me and fully engaging with her? I really get what you mean!
Yup. to me, it feels almost diabolical. But its pretty much just an idea. Also, it should be like this: if she was able to hear you, you would have said the same thing. The entire act should be very believable. So, when perform direct, be sure that you have the balls to face the consequences. There is no turning back with direct.
Quote:

Do you have any tips for day game? Out and about in my chair, Starbucks, waitresses, on the train, the street? This is a piece I'm still working on approaching and saying something balsy, especially if we are stuck in proximity ie next to me on a plane.
For day game: be balsy enough to open people and when you do, be genuine. If interested it is genuine, if not interested also be honest about it. Be interested in who they are, beyond the masks they put on for society. Try to poke deeper then that, emotions, then relate to those emotions from your own experiences. I think that is about the advice i can still give you. i dont like gimmicks or canned material. I think you can do without training wheels (half-half pun somewhat intended ;), as a joke ofcourse )

cheers, if you have any more questions, shoot!

good luck!
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