You're WAY hyperbolizing the negativity of negging. If you can neg properly, do it. If you can't, don't do it. It shouldn't be your MAIN strategy.
In my eyes, for a neg to work, it should never attack what a person looks like or any obvious insecurities they might have. I've negged way before I got into the game and I always used it as a sardonic comment that MAY be taken as an insult by somebody who DOESN'T have ANY sense of humor. Just make sure you sound as sarcastic as you can. If you're talking about a person's looks or insecurities, they might think that you're using sarcasm to veer from any responsibility of just directly insulting them.
A variation of a neg which I always use is using nicknames. When I first met one of my ex's in college, we small talked and she told me about her graduating soon and not having anything to do and having to find somewhere new to live, so I called her a bum several times. I knew that she had feelings for me, so I called her bud a few times, which she didn't like but knew I was kidding. She was older than me, so I called her a cougar all the time. I just did it as sarcastically as I could, obviously just joking around. It reminds her of things SHE might think are unfavorable (when I don't give a fuck about them), which is also the goal of a neg. It's just more playful and isn't perceived as though you're actually meaning anything bad behind it.
Regarding your situation, that neg isn't bad. If you deliver anything right, nothing is bad. You're not going to SNL her, and I'm assuming you have her number. Just be confident and remember that you're the fucking treat. In your eyes, and in her eyes, she wants to meet up with you. Let the postcard come up, be confident as all hell about it, use your neg, laugh, and continue with your conversation. Try to build up some tension between you two when you meet. Use some sexual innuendos once she's more comfortable. Remember, she's not a stranger. The situation should be much more relaxed. You wanna build up the tension for the next time you meet. Strawman her boyfriend for a bit, it won't do any damage to you and might actually help you build hidden rapport with her. I don't know where you guys are meeting or any details, so I can't suggest anything specific. It should be just like a day 1 but more relaxed. DHV yourself, but don't sound too cocky. And I would suggest initiating getting out of there (you gotta meet up with somebody, somebody who you could DHV yourself through) and suggesting to meet up again. If you don't have the number, get it at this point. If you do, tell her you'll hit her up and try to fit her in your schedule.
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). Anyways she was only up here visiting relatives during the summer. When she left for home, I sent her a postcard asking her if she would be my GF. I know it was a stupid afc thing to do, but you got to realize I was only 7 years old at the time.