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| Girlfriend thinks im jealous? https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=146521 |
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| Author: | tostrong [ Sat Sep 22, 2012 1:36 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Girlfriend thinks im jealous? |
Alright guys so my gf came over to my condo and we were hanging out, she was acting very distant (and has been for a week or so), I ask her what wrong and of course she says "nothing" I then tell her I know something is up...well she open up and told me that she has a feeling I msg some guys on her facebook telling them to not talk to her???? which never happend! I have literally never talked to any of these guys, and she said that she thinks I try to make her jealous by adding girl on facebook ect ect...which in not true at all. She went on to tell me that I don't trust her and that its a turn off. A couple months ago i found out she had been talking to one of her ex's and she lied to me about some big stuff! for a few weeks after I had trouble trusting her but I am fine now, she doesn't really deserve my trust to be honest but if your going to be in a relationship then you have to trust....plus I consider my self a high value guy. So how should I handle this? I have already told her she can check my facebook i have nothing to hide, or she can msg the guys and ask them....she honestly thinks im some jealous crazy bf???? lol |
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| Author: | Datguy [ Sat Sep 22, 2012 4:48 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
The important thing is to play it cool, you can either tell her those things you already said, after all you have nothing to hide. You could tell her she has no moral grounds to accuse you of this after what she did. Regardless of what you do remember, don't get offended, even laugh a bit at the whole thing and be like nothing is really happening. |
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| Author: | tostrong [ Sat Sep 22, 2012 5:14 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
good advice, anything other suggestions? |
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| Author: | Junglepimp [ Sat Sep 22, 2012 5:36 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Look man, speaking from personal experience, play it cool to the extent that you trust her. Period. (Of course, the underlying assumption being that you trust her to a reasonable extent, parallel to her actions). I don't suggest playing it cool when on the inside you're angry as hell. Justified anger is alright. |
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| Author: | HeavyRota8tion [ Sat Sep 22, 2012 6:00 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
So she feels distrustful towards you for something you never did, and previously she'd betrayed your trust based on something that had actually happened and you'd since forgiven her. Think about that. |
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| Author: | HeavyRota8tion [ Sat Sep 22, 2012 6:03 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Quote: Look man, speaking from personal experience, play it cool to the extent that you trust her. Period. (Of course, the underlying assumption being that you trust her to a reasonable extent, parallel to her actions).
Anger, in and of itself is functional to a degree, but it's a secondary emotion masking other more primary emotions (e.g., hurt, sadness, isolation, rejection, etc..). If you don't address the underlying primary emotion(s) anger can become quite destructive.
I don't suggest playing it cool when on the inside you're angry as hell. Justified anger is alright. |
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| Author: | Junglepimp [ Sat Sep 22, 2012 6:10 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Without getting too technical, what I'm trying to say is, I don't advise hiding your feelings when you don't feel a particular way. Either change the way you feel, or express what you feel. What I don't propose is faking emotions, that's all. |
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| Author: | HeavyRota8tion [ Sat Sep 22, 2012 6:19 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Quote: Without getting too technical, what I'm trying to say is, I don't advise hiding your feelings when you don't feel a particular way. Either change the way you feel, or express what you feel. What I don't propose is faking emotions, that's all.
I agree entirely. One way to do this very effectively is by using "I" statements/messages. I use this a fair amount when doing couples therapy.The template is as follows: I feel... (Insert feeling word) when... (tell what caused the feeling). I would like... (tell what you want to happen instead) I statements are an EXTREMELY powerful way of communicating with people in general, being heard, and informing them of what you need back from them. You'll notice when used properly they're like magic. http://www.humanpotentialcenter.org/Art ... ments.html |
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