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When gf doesn't tell guys she has a bf?
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Author:  tostrong [ Wed Sep 12, 2012 4:34 am ]
Post subject:  When gf doesn't tell guys she has a bf?
I looked at my gf's facebook (she kept it open after coming over) she had a msg from a guy who she met a while back, he asked her If she wanted to go out for dinner, from the looks of things she went to bed before she could answer and the next day she said to him "Sorry had to work early had to go offline" but didn't mention she had a bf, I also noticed that she posted something on his wall a few days ago....it was innocent but still this all seems fishy to me. She never spoken of this guy before, It seems disrespectful that she would not tell him strait up "I have a bf".

Its clear that this guy likes her, she is not stupid! so what is the best course of action?
Author:  TheSeagull [ Wed Sep 12, 2012 5:16 am ]
Post subject: 
keep an eye on the situation.
there are a few possible scenarios here:
a) she ends up accepting this guy's invitation
b) she talks to the guy if/when he initiates, but does not let the conversation escalate and is always vague about any invitation and never does anything about it
c) she stops talking to the guy altogether and ignores him from now on

if a), definitely dump her
if b), she is enjoying the attention, knows the guy is hitting on her and it makes her feel validated, but has no intention of cheating
if c), then you're golden

case b) is where things get shady. do you call her out on it, do you act bigger man and ignore the whole thing, or do you turn the guy about an inner joke? only you can answer it, depending on the dynamics of your relationship.

the fact that she has not mentioned it to you is not necessarily a sign of hidden plots going on. she might simply have forgotten/thought the incident was not worth writing home about.

a past hookup of my girlfriend messaged her on facebook a month ago, and she did not tell me about it. but she did not answer that message. so, it's not like she was hiding anything and being sneaky. she simply forgot or maybe thought I would worry/be jealous for no good reason.
Author:  league [ Wed Sep 12, 2012 5:30 am ]
Post subject: 
all you need to go is keep an eye on the situation, if he keeps flirting and your gf seems to enjoy then call her out on it, if he gets himself friendzoned then you look like the rock solid alpha bf because you haven't mentioned it
Author:  tostrong [ Wed Sep 12, 2012 10:50 am ]
Post subject: 
I think she enjoys the attention, she already accepted his friend request and know she is not dumb...a guy doesn't ask to hang out just to be friends lol

I think perhaps she does it for the attention but it still does not make it ok...he clearly like her so should she not tell him get lost I have a bf?
Author:  tostrong [ Wed Sep 12, 2012 1:00 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
keep an eye on the situation.
there are a few possible scenarios here:
a) she ends up accepting this guy's invitation
b) she talks to the guy if/when he initiates, but does not let the conversation escalate and is always vague about any invitation and never does anything about it
c) she stops talking to the guy altogether and ignores him from now on

if a), definitely dump her
if b), she is enjoying the attention, knows the guy is hitting on her and it makes her feel validated, but has no intention of cheating
if c), then you're golden

case b) is where things get shady. do you call her out on it, do you act bigger man and ignore the whole thing, or do you turn the guy about an inner joke? only you can answer it, depending on the dynamics of your relationship.

the fact that she has not mentioned it to you is not necessarily a sign of hidden plots going on. she might simply have forgotten/thought the incident was not worth writing home about.

a past hookup of my girlfriend messaged her on facebook a month ago, and she did not tell me about it. but she did not answer that message. so, it's not like she was hiding anything and being sneaky. she simply forgot or maybe thought I would worry/be jealous for no good reason.
why do you think she might be seeking attention? Do you think it is a self esteem issue?
Author:  GKS [ Wed Sep 12, 2012 1:29 pm ]
Post subject: 
It means she's waiting for something better to come along.
Author:  tostrong [ Wed Sep 12, 2012 1:35 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
It means she's waiting for something better to come along.
That's what I was thinking...sucks to hear but that's reality.
Author:  TheSeagull [ Wed Sep 12, 2012 3:25 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
so should she not tell him get lost I have a bf?
In an ideal world, yes.

In real life, it's very rare for a girl to be this straightforward. They will only do that if you really get annoying, or you get classified as a player/joke.

The best you can expect in most cases is the silent SPAM, when they ignore their suitor.

Second best is the "I enjoy the attention but I will not reward the guy with banging my pussy" behavior. It's essentially when the guy opens, they chat with him for a while, they don't let the conversation escalate to sex, then they leave like 5 to 10 minutes into it, and never open. Repeat the cycle a few times, until the guy gives up, or he becomes needy and gets the "I have a BF" speech.

If the advances are welcome, that's where you need to worry/react. She opens the guy, the conversations become flirtatious, she talks to him for hours. Worry. Call her out.

Beyond that, there is cheating. She meets the guy, and unless he totally screws up, she fucks him. Some girls will go as far as setting up dates and then flaking. If she sets up the date with no intention of going there, classify as "enjoy attention". If she sets up the date and you know she wants to go/is tempted to go, then next. It's only a matter of time anyways.

Only you can answer the question as to what your GF is planning to do. Up to now, nothing she did is worth writing home about. And it might be simply courteous behavior (she replied but totally ignored his offer to hang out, right?) where she prefers to act like it did not happen instead of being rude ("got a bf - get lost").

Keep an eye on her Facebook, and on her texts. Anything weird shows up, call her out. And be ready to next.
Author:  cunning_stunt [ Wed Sep 12, 2012 5:43 pm ]
Post subject: 
People talk about 'something better to come along' and it may be true.. but consider the following..It could be that she really likes you, but you are doing something to her in the relationship which is causing her to 'keep an open mind' for others.

Why dont you take her out for a good evening, find the right moment and ask her about your relationship.. how does she find things and is there anything that would make it better. Im not saying bend over for this girl, but do it in a kind of 'im curious' type of way. It could be, as an example, that she doesnt trust you and thinks you will fuck off (you are on a PUA site right ;) . So give her the benefit of the doubt. She might say, 'well actually X is bothering me'. And it may become apparent that if X isnt fixed, she thinks it could spell the end at some point. If that is the case and you can remedy it, then there you go. If she comes up with something silly, unfixable or says nothing, then I would think about confronting her with the situation or just moving on.
Author:  dark one [ Wed Sep 12, 2012 7:48 pm ]
Post subject: 
meet the guy

Say to her, if hes harmless you will know?
Author:  tostrong [ Wed Sep 12, 2012 8:09 pm ]
Post subject: 
So I asked her about it it and she told me she was going to tell the guy that she won't hang out because she has a bf and he won't be cool with it, the guy responded with "You having a few beers at the pub has nothing to do with having a bf, lets meet at ____ pub this weekend"

I think I might meet the guy and hang out, I don't want to come off as needed which I feel like I am at the moment so mabey hanging out with him is best?

I also am sure that he is a pua, how good I don't know but the way he talks to my gf is very much by the book!

perhaps meeting him is a good idea? or mabey bad?
Author:  dark one [ Wed Sep 12, 2012 9:34 pm ]
Post subject: 
Like I said, meeting the guy might not be a bad idea, you will find out real fast if the guy is a pua or not! then you can amog destroy him, and if he's just a normal guy who is trying to steal your gf then show him respect, but also show him that she is your gf and that its not cool to try to pull something (that is if he does hit on her in front of you).

Some guys in here might disagree? but I have been in a similar situations in the past and the best way to deal with it is to show the guy that you and her are a couple and you are the alpha male plain and simple.

If he still messages your gf, or hits on her then you should tell her to cut him out! she should respect you enough to do this.
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