PUA Forum :: Pickup - am I addicted?

Personally I would tell you to try meditation. Yeah, you might overlook it and say, "Meditation? That's a waste of time." I thought so too until I met a Buddhist woman who I spent two weeks learning from and studying with. Really taught me to relax and be more than comfortable with being by myself.

Quote:

Actually I've really been interested in meditation for awhile now, just having found the proper medium to get started. I'm guess it's best to find someone in person to help me get started? Maybe some reading, if not?

And yeah, clearspeak, that's quite true of me. The fears you speak of are also symptoms of my diagnoses.

I've started to notice if I don't have a girl over (with a sexual vibe of course), or am texting/flirting with a girl (preferably multiple) then I get bored, or restless. Before, I would smoke a bowl or have a drink when getting like that. But now maybe I've become addicted to women? The attention I get from them because of what I've learned from pickup? The almost obsession over being able to bed any girl?

Maybe I'm exaggerating a little. Maybe I'm subconsciously desperate for a girlfriend. I mean, that is the reason I started isn't it? I love the consistent, good quality sex a girlfriend can provide. Maybe it's making up for attention I didn't get from women when I was younger, or from my parents. Either way, between my major in Psychology and studying pickup in my free time I feel like it's starting to take over my life. Should I lay off and just stop trying to attract women for awhile? It's so much fun though...

And urban I think you got it. My counselor talks to me about how concerned she is about my anxiety. But about loneliness, I think you're quite right. About this time last year, I was in a pretty solid LTR, and it ended pretty badly. In a way I've been "chasing the dragon", sleeping with / dating multiple women but still searching for that deeper connection. There's something about the true satisfaction a loving relationship can provide - everything from the comfort to the great "I'm in love with you" sex.

Author:	smashthecrash [ Fri Sep 07, 2012 5:50 am ]
Post subject:	Pickup - am I addicted?
10 months ago, I started reading pickup because I was tired of sleeping with and dating low quality women. I have a history of addictive behavior though. A few months ago, I actually started outpatient drug and alcohol rehab, and have quit indefinitely. I have ADD and PTSD, and almost got kicked out of the Army for failing 2 drug tests. I got a DWI 4 years ago. I've always been the type of guy to have a good amount of female friends. When I was closer to high school age, these were nearly all friend zone situations. But nowadays, I've noticed the majority of my female friends I have already hooked up with to some capacity, or I actively try to maintain a sexual vibe. I wonder if I do this for my own ego? For example.. Last night, a friend of mine I'm not really attracted to asked me if I could keep her company last night. We've never been sexual (an awkward forced kiss once) but we ended up cuddling... then before I knew it my hand was under her bra and we were dry humping in my bed. I had to fight the urge to go farther... I've got a good thing going with her best friend I don't want to fuck up. Her best friend, that I was fingering in the back of my car last Sunday. Also, I've got more than a couple (low quality) girls I could fuck on the drop of a dime. A girl my buddy used to sleep with is asking me if she can come over tomorrow. I have to admit, I fucking love the attention. I've started to notice if I don't have a girl over (with a sexual vibe of course), or am texting/flirting with a girl (preferably multiple) then I get bored, or restless. Before, I would smoke a bowl or have a drink when getting like that. But now maybe I've become addicted to women? The attention I get from them because of what I've learned from pickup? The almost obsession over being able to bed any girl? Maybe I'm exaggerating a little. Maybe I'm subconsciously desperate for a girlfriend. I mean, that is the reason I started isn't it? I love the consistent, good quality sex a girlfriend can provide. Maybe it's making up for attention I didn't get from women when I was younger, or from my parents. Either way, between my major in Psychology and studying pickup in my free time I feel like it's starting to take over my life. Should I lay off and just stop trying to attract women for awhile? It's so much fun though...

Author:	Pickwick [ Fri Sep 07, 2012 6:09 am ]
Post subject:
It's your hobby, I don't see a problem with it unless it's making you dysfunctional in your everyday life. Besides, wanting sex is natural. I would suggest to find a few interests that have nothing to do with pick up. Personally I would tell you to try meditation. Yeah, you might overlook it and say, "Meditation? That's a waste of time." I thought so too until I met a Buddhist woman who I spent two weeks learning from and studying with. Really taught me to relax and be more than comfortable with being by myself.

Author:	clearspeak [ Fri Sep 07, 2012 6:43 am ]
Post subject:
It does sound like you are needing something almost all the time to keep you occupied and maybe you are scared of what you'd feel if you were just alone in silence for a while. If that's true, it could be an addictive thing overall. And you say you have had addictive kinds of things going on for a while so it might make sense.

Author:	smashthecrash [ Fri Sep 07, 2012 8:51 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Personally I would tell you to try meditation. Yeah, you might overlook it and say, "Meditation? That's a waste of time." I thought so too until I met a Buddhist woman who I spent two weeks learning from and studying with. Really taught me to relax and be more than comfortable with being by myself. Actually I've really been interested in meditation for awhile now, just having found the proper medium to get started. I'm guess it's best to find someone in person to help me get started? Maybe some reading, if not? And yeah, clearspeak, that's quite true of me. The fears you speak of are also symptoms of my diagnoses.

Author:	clearspeak [ Sat Sep 08, 2012 2:23 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: Quote: Personally I would tell you to try meditation. Yeah, you might overlook it and say, "Meditation? That's a waste of time." I thought so too until I met a Buddhist woman who I spent two weeks learning from and studying with. Really taught me to relax and be more than comfortable with being by myself. Actually I've really been interested in meditation for awhile now, just having found the proper medium to get started. I'm guess it's best to find someone in person to help me get started? Maybe some reading, if not? And yeah, clearspeak, that's quite true of me. The fears you speak of are also symptoms of my diagnoses. If you have PTSD I could see how you might have fears that come up that you want to drown out. Have you had that treated ever?

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Author:	theurbanwarrior [ Sat Sep 08, 2012 3:13 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Pickup - am I addicted?
Quote: I've started to notice if I don't have a girl over (with a sexual vibe of course), or am texting/flirting with a girl (preferably multiple) then I get bored, or restless. Before, I would smoke a bowl or have a drink when getting like that. But now maybe I've become addicted to women? The attention I get from them because of what I've learned from pickup? The almost obsession over being able to bed any girl? Maybe I'm exaggerating a little. Maybe I'm subconsciously desperate for a girlfriend. I mean, that is the reason I started isn't it? I love the consistent, good quality sex a girlfriend can provide. Maybe it's making up for attention I didn't get from women when I was younger, or from my parents. Either way, between my major in Psychology and studying pickup in my free time I feel like it's starting to take over my life. Should I lay off and just stop trying to attract women for awhile? It's so much fun though... From all youve mentioned it sounds like you enjoy it as a hobby, which is a good thing. What concerned me was when you said you get bored, or restless. Is this more of an anxiety feeling? Almost like withdrawal? If so, that may be something to monitor. On the flip side, it could just be loneliness. I know personally and even from some of my buddies, that even not alone i.e if you are sleeping with multiple women, it can still be lonely if its purely sexual because that deeper connection isnt there.

Author:	smashthecrash [ Sat Sep 08, 2012 1:47 pm ]
Post subject:
As for the PTSD, yeah it was diagnosed years ago and I'm currently in SPAM for it. It's gotten quite a bit better actually, thank you for the concern. And urban I think you got it. My counselor talks to me about how concerned she is about my anxiety. But about loneliness, I think you're quite right. About this time last year, I was in a pretty solid LTR, and it ended pretty badly. In a way I've been "chasing the dragon", sleeping with / dating multiple women but still searching for that deeper connection. There's something about the true satisfaction a loving relationship can provide - everything from the comfort to the great "I'm in love with you" sex. Speaking of sex, I just had some last night... with a girl I've been platonic with for several months. Long story short, I knew she was into me, and I planned on seducing her to the point I knew I COULD sleep with her, but ended up doing it anyways. Oh well. She was in a PXR with my best friend last semester, and just last Friday he fucked my ex girlfriend (they went to her house this weekend) so for awhile I took it off my mind. Probably used this girl to my advantage, but meh, whatever. Yay social circles.

Author:	Tr@veler [ Sat Sep 08, 2012 1:52 pm ]
Post subject:
Keep at it. This is the time you learn the most. There will be times where you'll be like "Fuck pickup" and just stop it for a while, then bounce back in. Savor this period. Read and go out a lot. Don't stop.

Author:	theurbanwarrior [ Sat Sep 08, 2012 2:32 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: And urban I think you got it. My counselor talks to me about how concerned she is about my anxiety. But about loneliness, I think you're quite right. About this time last year, I was in a pretty solid LTR, and it ended pretty badly. In a way I've been "chasing the dragon", sleeping with / dating multiple women but still searching for that deeper connection. There's something about the true satisfaction a loving relationship can provide - everything from the comfort to the great "I'm in love with you" sex. If it helps, you aint alone on that. Most guys, including myself, go on these tears after a bad breakup where you sleep with everything with a skirt on lol. I guess my point is that its normal. What generally ends up happening - as Tr@veler pointed out - is that you get into this "Fuck pickup" mode, where you kinda want more than just ass and start looking for that deeper connection, an LTR. I was in a similar mindset (lonely eventhough i was getting laid) so I decided to continue pick up but my outcome now is to qualify them for a LTR, instead of getting laid. Its a self-experiment - Let see how it works out.

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