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| Giving reasons for not being in touch https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=144735 |
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| Author: | Direction [ Sun Sep 02, 2012 11:45 am ] |
| Post subject: | Giving reasons for not being in touch |
The default for when a PUA wants to tell a girl why he hasn't been in touch is to focus the answer on himself. Some examples:
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| Author: | pumpington [ Sun Sep 02, 2012 12:27 pm ] |
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do you understand the concept of frame control? her frame: figuring out why you haven't called from the point of view of you must explain yourself when she likely has already made up her mind of the kind of answer she wants to see, and assessing what you are congruent with to compare her: why haven't you called me for 2 weeks? you: awww, you miss me? her: you haven't been talking to me, are you mad at me? you: yes, furious, lock your doors her:why? you: are you serious right now lol? ^this is her trying to get you to explain yourself, and place you into her own frame, as in she runs you, she is your boss, she already knows, so you re-frame now, OTOH, new frame her: I miss you, where have you been for two weeks you: just busy her: busy doing what? you: robbing homeless people... doesn't pay very good, how about you? ^ different frame, different response, still no need to tell her your life's story |
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| Author: | Direction [ Sun Sep 02, 2012 12:45 pm ] |
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I know about the concept of frame control, which I suppose is strongly related to the RSD "Law of state transference", but haven't internalized it yet. It seems that all three of those conversations goes well for the PUA. So my reaction to those questions will usually never be to answer them, but rather assume that she misses me or to just brush it of and go to another subject? |
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| Author: | pumpington [ Sun Sep 02, 2012 1:01 pm ] |
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Quote: I know about the concept of frame control, which I suppose is strongly related to the RSD "Law of state transference", but haven't internalized it yet. It seems that all three of those conversations goes well for the PUA. So my reaction to those questions will usually never be to answer them, but rather assume that she misses me or to just brush it of and go to another subject?
you are looking at the content, rather then the contextshe will have a frame you will have a frame you both have a perspective through which the interaction is happening the person who is more confident, will control the frame, the person who is controlling the frame, will have the interaction interpreted through their frame so if her frame is, you are mad at her, or you are butthurt and you start reacting to her, and your all, ''no im not mad, im busy'' or ''I've been busy'' she's just going to think bullshit and assume she knows what's going on, because it stays congruent with her frame, rather then you setting your own frame out so the point is not to redirect, or to not answer her question, it's about how you percieve the interaction, as well as being proactive rather then reactive, how ever some guys take this don't be reactive shit too far and won't answer a fucking question at all, even when it is congruent with their own frame and is productive, it makes no sense, and they do it purely to ''lead the frame'' even though it would be congruent for them to just be normal and answer the question anyways cause it suits them and what they want to accomplish and behind the outer frame work of ''what is the meaning'' is simply what emotion is dominant, change the emotion, control the frame, so if she comes at you depressed or sad, with some ''we aren't getting along'' frame, you come at her all happy and playful with a ''we like each other'' frame and you're more certain of yourself, eventually she will just submit and become happy and playful and play the roll you have set out it's kind of like, she assigns you a roll and if you fall into it, she controls the frame, so instead of taking her roll, you assign her a roll, and don't fall in line unless it suits your desired purpose and is going in the direction that you are leading to anyways |
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