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Girl acting all suicidal. Could really use some help.
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Author:  sylarjones [ Sun Aug 26, 2012 8:18 am ]
Post subject:  Girl acting all suicidal. Could really use some help.
Not a very good start to our relationship.

I had made it clear that she shouldn't be in touch with her ex's as that would complicate things between us. I told her if she is not sure if she has moved on, she should take some time to think. She said she has moved on and stopped talking to them.

Today, she accidently left her gmail open and I went through her chat logs. She was still speaking to her ex's and was planning on meet one of them today. Yeah she lied to my face. I confronted her and told her I wanted to break up with her. She went all crazy, she called me 10 times sent me some 100 messages.

I met her, listened to her. She said she really wants to be in a relationship with me and its just hard for her to move on. She was crying for almost 2 hrs trying and explaining everything to me. She works for me and I told her she should resign from her job as I don't want to see her anymore. Right now she cannot just get another job and if their parents hear about this, they will be devastated. I told her she did some mistakes and she will just have to live with them.

Finally, I made it clear that I don't want to be in a relationship with her and she can keep her job for few months until she finds a new one.

She said she wants me back and she is ready to do anything that it takes, she will prove her to me and would never give me a chance to complain.

When I said no, she kept crying and starting acting suicidal, saying she doesn't want to live any more and she will probably go and harm herself so that I don't have to see her any more.

When she finally asked her if I loved her, I said no and she went off.

At this moment, I was really worried about her safety and was not sure if she would go home. I went to her place and told her to think before she does anything stupid. She asked me to give her sometime to sort herself out, I said ok and I left.

Now I realize that I really messed it up by going to her place, but I was really concerned that she might harm herself.

My plan is to freeze her out, if she meets in office, be very formal to her and just move on with life. This is going to be a tough decision and I think I will be able to live with it. I cannot trust her anymore.

How do I make sure she doesn't harm herself?

There's also 1% of me which says maybe I should give her a chance and see if things work out.

I am in a crisis. I could really use some help.
Author:  Kirin [ Sun Aug 26, 2012 8:33 am ]
Post subject: 
End it now before you regret it.
Author:  daffy duck [ Sun Aug 26, 2012 8:35 am ]
Post subject: 
wow. if ever there was a reason not to date people from work this would probably serve as the textbook reason.

ok. my ex-girlfriend threatened suicide on me when i wouldn't return her tsunami of calls etc. in the end it turned out she was bluffing but i understand your concern. but that is why they do it. to get you concerned.

i also slept with a girl who actually did go ahead and kill herself. understand that peope are responsible for their actions and under no circumstances are you responsible for what they do.

as for giving her a chance? seriously. what do you think?
Author:  pumpington [ Sun Aug 26, 2012 8:47 am ]
Post subject: 
why does this chick have to leave her job for you?

it's your own fault for shitting where you eat, you should have seen something like this comming before you descided to date a co-worker

you also got into a relationship with a chick, without screening her very well, if she is this manipulative it should have been caught way earlier and you should have dropped her ass before it got this far

you're worried about her that's cool, but she is responsible for her own life, it's not on you if she does something stupid, it's on her

your plan is to drop her cause she doesn't fall in with your life, good plan, why would you want to keep a girl who fucks with your life and doesn't respect your boundries?

how do you make sure she doesn't harm herslef? not your problem, this is her responsibility, not yours, if she lets you know she is going to hurt herself and you can prevent it, call the police or something, but being responsibile for her life is not your responsibility, you are responsible for yourself, and she is responsible for herself

if 1% of you is telling you to stay, and 99% of you is telling you to run for your fucking life... it's pretty easy to see what you believe is best for your life
Quote:
I am in a crisis. I could really use some help.
nope, you know what has to be done, just don't let your emotions get involved, keep your eyes on the task at hand that will leave you and your life better off, if you believe that task is staying with her and fixing her problems, and continueing to wag your finger at her for chatting up her ex's then do that, if you think it is cutting her loose cause she is throwing up red flags all over the place and this was a bad idea, then do that, but you have to make your own choices and be certain of them

GOOD LUCK
Author:  sylarjones [ Sun Aug 26, 2012 11:35 am ]
Post subject: 
Got it guys. We are all on the same page. Thanks!
Author:  sylarjones [ Mon Aug 27, 2012 3:15 pm ]
Post subject: 
Here's a major twist.

We met today. She asked if we can keep our personal and professional life different. For her this job is very important and she doesn't want to risk it. I acted AFC and told her I wanted to move on, it wouldn't be possible for me to act normal after all this. It would make the process of me getting over her harder.

She started crying again and got some kind of stroke or probably felt dizzy, she was shivering and didn't react to what I was saying. I was fucking scared, I was going to take her to a doctor. After couple of minutes, she cooled down and all she was saying is "Let me keep my job".

I had no option but to tell her she can keep her job.

One thing lead to another and I asked her why would she do this to me.

She had called her ex yesterday to tell him what happened because of him, he took advantage of it and told her he still has feelings for her. Well this melted my girl who was almost over him and today she says she doesn't think she has completely moved on and she needs some time to figure this out.

I thought I was losing her and I confessed to her that I still love her and want her back (AFC very AFC).

Something you guys need to know:
She broke with her ex a year ago cause he gave her an ultimatum to get engaged and she didn't cause her family wasn't ready for this and they hated this guy. They got back together, and decided they would get married in a court, again she did not show up the day when they were going to get married. Guy got all crazy and did not talk to her for a year. They got back in touch and would talk on and off.

I know for a fact they are not going to work. The guy doesn't really earn well ($6000/yr), isn't successful, he's socially awkward. She said I am the kinda of guy she wants to spend her life with, but she's still stuck with her emotions for her ex.

Obviously I want to get back with her.

We are going to be spending a lot of time working together. Should I try and act like I don't give a fuck about her or should I be normal and show her that maybe I am still interested?


I know this is not my best day and I fucked it up big time. I would have forced myself to get over her if I wasn't going to see her again. But there's a part of me which wants her back.

What should be my plan?
Author:  daffy duck [ Mon Aug 27, 2012 3:19 pm ]
Post subject: 
I'm saying nothing.

Apart from saying that 'I'm saying nothing'. :roll:
Author:  cerebralassassin [ Mon Aug 27, 2012 6:53 pm ]
Post subject: 
she is messed up, stop trying to be her therapist... if she had feelings for you she wouldnt still have feelings for him.

at the end of the day your gonna do what you want to do our advice really is irrelevant. you have to decide what is best for you and what is best for her
Author:  HeavyRota8tion [ Mon Aug 27, 2012 7:15 pm ]
Post subject: 
Move on, she's not your responsibility.
Author:  daffy duck [ Mon Aug 27, 2012 8:43 pm ]
Post subject: 
true, although how you're supposed to keep your personal and professional life different when youre sleeping with your boss is beyond me. lol.

unless one of them quickly develops alzheimer's their personal life is now inextricably entwined with their professional.

please don't suggest anyone in this situation has been 'mature'...lol
Author:  Mack 2.0 [ Tue Aug 28, 2012 3:58 am ]
Post subject: 
i read the first seven sentences.

she isn't going to kill herself.

she is an idiot.

dump her skanky trifling ass.

next.
Author:  TheSeagull [ Tue Aug 28, 2012 6:22 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
she isn't going to kill herself.
this is truth.

as for the rest of the situation, this chick is not over her ex. choosing to enter a LTR with a girl who still loves her ex, and whom you work with was your choice. deal with it.
Author:  Pickwick [ Tue Aug 28, 2012 7:31 am ]
Post subject: 
I've read your other thread.

I have to agree with keeping job and personal life separate. You got her the job, deal with it. At work, she's a worker, you're her boss. Out of work, you guys can be whatever.

Regarding out of work, cut all communication with her. Looking at what you did with her before, I realize you won't. Just try. You honestly don't need that kind of bullshit in your life.

I'll tell you what you want to hear. In the long run, her ex is a loser. Additionally in the long run, she will come back to you. Just stop talking to her man. Honestly. She messages you, respond politely but abruptly. She asks you how you're doing, you're doing well. She asks you what you're doing, you're cleaning the fish bowl. Don't go all in depth with talking to her if she initiates small talk. Now if she wants to talk about bigger things, then yeah, talk to her. Just make sure if it gets there, you ask her what the fuck she ultimately wants from you.

Jeez, this woman reminds me of how difficult they are.
Author:  Pokee [ Tue Aug 28, 2012 6:17 pm ]
Post subject: 
So she is the very first girl you've ever fucked, right? I get that. It is the only possible reason why you would want to stay with her. She is a liar, she has no honor, no courage, no honesty and she is very unstable and manipulative. But she's the first girl who ever sucked your cock and so you love her forever.

Move on now before you waste anymore of your life on her. She isn't worth it. You don't owe her anything.
Author:  blackholegalaxies [ Tue Aug 28, 2012 7:56 pm ]
Post subject: 
will i'm not very experienced in this field, but IMHO you took a wrong turn when you dated your employee...like you should have thought about it before
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