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Mixed Signals: Ignore verbal rejection & escalate or wal
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Author:  Southpaw_7 [ Wed Aug 22, 2012 10:51 am ]
Post subject:  Mixed Signals: Ignore verbal rejection & escalate or walk?

So a mate of mine met my own personal oneitis she-devil (GFTOW not helping) the other night, and now I don't know if I'm dancing in the friendzone. It was at a party at my house, and her and I got drunk together, but I messed up by failing to escalate and/or isolate.

The conversation they had went a little like this:

Him: So why do you think that I know a few things about you
Her: I know why and I've known why for a while
Him: And what do you think about that?
Her: Well, I chose to be here tonight, didn't I?

Later:

Him: You two should really hook up.
Her: We're too similar, I'm not sure it would work. (My mind is fuzzy but I think she started that sentence with "maybe")
Him: You both get on well, what more do you need?
Her: I have a boyfriend at the moment.

I overheard this and STILL failed to escalate.

Later still (and her a little more sober):
She told him that nothing was going to happen between me and her /she wasn't interested / something along those lines. He told her that she should tell me that (she hasn't yet).

She has a boyfriend (the relationship is due to end in the next few months when he leaves the city), also she didn't invite him along with her. I've been out and seen other girls, but always get hung up on this one when we start spending time together regularly. We used to share the same social group (her bf still does), so I guess there's the "what will people say" thoughts if we do hook up.

I'm aware that recently I've been giving her the best of both worlds (getting attention from me, having to not deal with her boyfriend issues), and that I probably need to mix my signals up a bit more, be more busy etc.

Until things were verbalised it seemed as if we were just letting ourselves drift along and whatever happened would happen, and I hadn't let it get inside my head.

So the question is, how do I proceed?
1) Ignore what was said, and continue spending time with her, escalate physically, and if I feel I should make a move do it and damn the consequences.

2) Mention something along the lines of "Hey, I don't know what my mate said to you the other night, but you know I'm attracted to you, but that doesn't mean I think we should go out or anything, I don't want things to get awkward" and then proceed to 1.

3) Walk away. (with or without telling her why)

*For the record Option 3 has been attempted before, and we always tend to meet up after 6 months or so, only to reappear in this same situation.

Author:  Synth. [ Wed Aug 22, 2012 10:55 am ]
Post subject: 

Him: So why do you think that I know a few things about you
Her: I know why and I've known why for a while
Him: And what do you think about that?
Her: Well, I chose to be here tonight, didn't I?

Sooooo should have closed the deal hearing this!

Author:  Southpaw_7 [ Wed Aug 22, 2012 3:32 pm ]
Post subject: 

Yeah, tell me about it.

Not sure whether there's a way back now it's all "out in the open", or whether I have missed the opportune moment.

Author:  Synth. [ Thu Aug 23, 2012 10:55 am ]
Post subject: 

man just game her, just pretend that your not really interested, even if she is, DHV her, and neg the living shit out of her ha... but what i think is most important for her is future pacing, just tell her you have the cutest dog ever and she has to see it sometime, or something like that but just set up future dates with her without directly asking her "hey do you wanna come to mine and see my dog"... of course the dog example is only one possibility! but i'd say if you do this, you will get the girl! try it, and good luck =)

Let me know how you get on with her!

Synth.

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